another intimate sex question

[hellsbells4]

dh and I have been married 24 years and have always had a fairly unsatisfactory sex life. He says he had had a couple of sexual partners before me but he seemed pretty inexperienced when we married and I (wrongly) assumed we would learn to please each other over the years.

One of the things that has always puzzled me is that dh has never ever had trouble getting erections. But then he very often doesn't want to take things any further. I just don't get it because once I'm aroused there is no way I could just ignore it and go to sleep, or get up and start the day's work - but he can. I think he has incredibly low libido and he thinks I'm over-sexed. I don't expect him to want full intercourse every time he has an erection but i just don't understand how he can be so obviously aroused and yet not be bothered to act on it. Perhaps it's quite normal and I'm the odd one????

i dont think you're odd, there is no "normal" i think just communicating and taking things slowly can help, if all else fails then i would think about sex therapy - what have you got to lose? mind you i wouldnt think it would be easy to get your dh to go.........

if im honest i have to admit it would bother me if my dp had a low libido i would feel rejected and would try every trick in the book. i hope some one else has some more helpful answers, good luck!

ps i think your doing well to be married this long before questioning it, you must love your dh very much

hellsbells4, don't read too much into his erections. Men get erections at all times and in many inappropriate circumstances, too. It doesn't always mean we want sex, sometimes our willies respond when our minds are completely not in the mood. Don't beat yourself up about it, most couples have differing sex drives. I would suggest you have a talk about it with him, as it seems to worry you so much.

good on you happydaddy! It's nice to have a blokes opinion every now & then!!
HB4, I would discuss it with him but tbh like hd says, most blokes get erections when it's beyond their control! LOL....most men "pitch tents" first thing on a morning even while asleep!

low libido definitly.
men get erections all the time. doesnt mean anything. even babies get them. means absolutely nothing.

my dh is gonna kill me if he see's this but......

He has an erection nearly every morning. Doesn't mean he wants to have sex every morning though!!!!

ditto - but I think he'd quite like the sex every morning if he didn't have work to go to