Can anyone remind me about the fish getting hotter?

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

I've read an analogy here about someone in a relationship swimming in a tank where the water gets hotter and hotter. Please can someone remind me of the full analogy. It describes well how I used to feel.

Frog, not fish.

If you put a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will jump straight out again. If you put a frog into a pan of tepid water and gradually heat it, it will adjust to each temperature increase without alarm, and boil to death .

No woman agrees to make herself dependent on a man who shouts at her, belittles her, takes her money and hits her right off the bat (sorry, no pun intended). The behaviour gradually worsens, and you adjust to each thing - oh, well, it's just words, it's not as if he's hitting me. Oh, well, that wasn't really hitting me, that was just a push. Etc.

Thanks just what I wanted.