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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Nasty controlling men. Grrrrrrr!

7 replies

Aragon · 01/09/2005 15:00

Okay - I know most men are decent, nice people and I am married to one of these. However, what is it about some men who have to make allegations and cause upset to their ex-partners.

Yesterday I got a call from a colleague who'd been to see a new baby. The Dad (the father of one of the three year olds on my patch, and who has a long history of nasty violent conduct towards his women)made several allegations about the three year old's Mum:

Alcohol++ everywhere
Loads of lodgers coming and going
Three year old not happy
House chaotic and dirty

Now all this sounds dreadful and mobilises health and social services rapidly to see if all is well. Being a HV I went to see this Mum (phoned her yesterday and said I needed to pop in and see her).

I went and saw:

A happy and chatty child who was appropriately dressed and fed.
Good relationship with Mum
No evidence of alcohol
One lodger (hardly "loads of")
An untidy house (Mum was decorating and some things evidently belonged elsewhere)
Lots of toys.
Okay so Mum and the lodger (female) smoke openly in the house (and in front of me ) but that's hardly the crime of the century is it?

I also heard from Mum that now Dad has a new baby he has informed her that she "won't be recieving maintainace anymore" as he "can't afford it".

Grrrrrrrr! My blood is boiling.

OP posts:
waterfalls · 01/09/2005 15:19

What awful things to say about someone when they are untrue

prettyfly1 · 01/09/2005 21:19

sadly much more common then is realised - in fact i have already had to deal with it twice and my son is just 4 months old. its not nice and men who do it need shooting but i am sure she is more then capable of rising above it and hopefully he will get his comeuppance when an angry eighteen year old tells him what they think of his parenting skills!!!

Amanda1 · 01/09/2005 21:27

Message withdrawn

prettyfly1 · 02/09/2005 12:53

dnt be too sure. i have put my new bf through hell already cause of what my ex did while i was pregnant and he treats me like a princess and takes it all on the chin. you will get there mate and to be honst he really does not sound like a major loss!

HappyDaddy · 02/09/2005 14:39

Aragon, on the plus side hasn't he just given you (as a HV) evidence of his behaviour? It was a bit silly of him to say that she can't have any maintenance cos she can just call the CSA.

Aragon · 02/09/2005 17:24

Yep! Am pleased to report the CSA are after him.

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 05/09/2005 21:24

good glad to hear it- want to come fight in my corner too ! [grin}

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