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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

99% certain DH is having an affair

95 replies

RBJ72 · 05/09/2010 14:02

I posted on this forum a few months ago about DH not adapting to family life, wanting more excitement, saying he wondered if there was someone better out there blah blah. WE have been married for 6 years and together for 11. DD arried 18 months ago after several failed attempts at IVF. I am now 17 weeks preganant which happened naturally.

Advice from most was that we should get counselling and that if he wasn't already then he was definitely thinking about having an affair. I asked him outright then if he was having an affair and he said no and I believed him. I suggested counselling and looked into finding one in our area but he wasn't keen.

Since then we have both made more of an effort on the relationship. Trying to go out more. He booked a night away for our anniversary and also bought me a lovely necklace but I'm now thinking that this was all because he was feeling guilty.

I am now 99.9% certain he is having an affair with his secretary. How cliched can you get!? I could understand it if she was 25, blond and nubile but she isn't.

I started to suspect a week or so ago when I saw pictures on his camera of a work night out with them with their cheeks together. He went out to a work' colleague's leaving do last night and I knew she would be there with other people from work. He said he owuld be meeting a few of them beforehand for dinner but when I checked his BB this am I saw a text that suggested that he'd met her for dinner on their own. he also sent her emails over the bank holiday (not saying anything incriminating but why email her on a holiday) and I also found one from her saying she'd like them to spend the afternoon together at a gallery followed by the travel lodge! There were also a couple of others which are definitely evidence that they have more than a work relationship but don't categorically say anything explicit.

So what do I do? I haven't confronted him yet. I feel like him sleep walking and that this isn't really happening. I can't be in the same room as him. All I can think about is how can I cope (emotionally and financially) on my own with 2 kids. What I'm not thinking is how can I save my marriage. Should I be for the sake of DD and the next baby? We have been together for so long that I can't get my head around being apart.

OP posts:
RBJ72 · 09/09/2010 19:44

FrogiInaJacuzzi, sounds like there are similarities between my situation and your friend's. Maybe he just does love me as a mother to his DD. But how can he expect fireworks all the time? Is he deluded or maybe he's decided he's not the settling down type - who knows.

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RBJ72 · 09/09/2010 19:48

Thanks vertigo, I've arranged a phone session with the counsellor in advance of the face to face so will ask her the questions you raise.

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AuntieMaggie · 09/09/2010 20:40

RBJ72 - no real advice other than to listen to WWIFN and others as they know what they're talking about.

And make sure when you get that book you show him the parts that are relevant - it will back you up if he tries to put you off...

Supercherry · 09/09/2010 21:56

Thinking of you RBJ72 :(

I know it's hard to break up a relationship, especially when you are pregnant and he has knocked your confidence. You are a woman though, you're strong, you will get through this.

Just remember that you deserve better. I hope it does work out for you but if not and you decide to end things with him then we're all here to help :) You're not alone.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 09/09/2010 23:28

You sound so defeated RBJ. On your original thread, when you asked him if he was having an affair and he denied it, you told him that you would "cut his balls off" if you found out he was lying to you....yet now you have, he is still sharing your bed, is still in your house and you are accepting statements such as the OW will "probably" get another job. And despite days elapsing since discovery, he still hasn't ended his extra-marital relationship. Sad

You seem to be pinning too much on the counselling. Therapy only works if both parties are committed to it, but this sounds like a box ticking exercise for him. He doesn't regret what he's done, he only regrets the fall-out. He doesn't have the balls to tell his boss and give you some peace of mind while he is at work.

I remember saying on your original thread that I was trying to get into your mindset, when it seemed you didn't want to find out the truth of what was going on. I'm still trying desperately hard to do that, but it seems as though your anger and indignation are slow to arrive.

I can only tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that if you continue to let him evade and wriggle, you will live to regret it - and he will do this again to you, because he will learn that far from metaphorically cutting his balls off, you will let him stay.

GuinessGirl · 10/09/2010 00:34

I am five years down the line ... she was much older than him, twice divorced, with grown up children and not the young & nubile 'dolly bird' that one imagines a man to want to have an affair with. There were months of to-ing & fro-ing which I will not bore u with.

Do what you can / want to salvage the situation, BUT from bitter experience DO DO DO go and talk to a solicitor so that you have some facts to think about and DO DO DO get the finances in order - make copies of things, especially anything that is stored on computer, any joint assets, anything that is in his name.

This may sound dreadful but I made the mistake of being too trusting and he disappeared taking all the records with him, wiped the computer and then I couldn't prove things later on ... turns out they had been planning the exit for months:(

I truly hope that you can come through this together and be stronger for it and if you do then having copies of things will be no problem in your newly restored open and trusting relationship :)... but my view would to be covering yourself just in case ... and yes, act fast because if he intends to take the adultery further, he is alerted to your knowledge of the situation.

RBJ72 · 10/09/2010 08:43

WWIFN, I am angry but you are right I did say I would cut his balls off and I haven't. It's like he doesn't seem to care about my feelings at all. I'm finding this very hard to get my head around when he has been a kind, caring and loyal person throughout our marriage. It's like I don't know him anymore.

I don't want him to move out at the moment because practically he would end up far away from here which wouldn't make it easy for him to see DD.

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greentriangle · 10/09/2010 09:18

I haven't read most of the thread (sorry)...but wanted to add this in case it was helpful.

My DH did the same, cheated with a work colleague. He walked out for a week, then came back to us (we had a 3yo and 1yo at the time). It took him 5 months to realise that he really regretted what he had done. Up until then, although he was sorry for the hurt he had caused, he didn't actually personally regret what he'd done.

This sort of cheating has been termed "mating in captivity" - he didn't choose her like he chose you, he just had her because she was there and mistook familiarity for love/lust/similar.

Virtually this exact situation is replicated thousands of times up and down the country by people who are selfish and arrogant. Sorry that you are on the receiving end of it.

akhems · 10/09/2010 10:32

RB, I'm so sorry for what you're enduring at the moment but I'll share some of my experience in case it's helpful to you.

My dp had an affair with a work colleague.. he dithered for weeks between us both and then gave up his job.. just walked out one day.

OW was tenacious, kept emailing and texting him over approximately a 3 month period - inviting him to her birthday bash, which she chose to have in HIS hometown in his local pub there! He was a twat too.. and replied to some of her messages, he says now because he felt bad for hurting her/letting her down.

In our many conversations on the subject, he's finally been able to explain to me that he got into the situation because she made him feel attractive, he became convinced that she was his destiny because she came from the same county as him and because they'd previously worked together in other organisations, even tho they hadn't known each other at the time. She was also very good at asking questions in such a way as to make him answer in the way she wanted him to and to make her seem the more attractive prospect... she has a psychology degree which is a useful thing if you're a manipulative person Wink

Like greentriangle, it's taken a long time for him to realise what he did and more importantly WHY he did what he did and take responsibility for it and truly regret it, but 7 months on I'm hopeful that we will be ok in the future. I'm still quite untrusting, still check everything and look for evidence of what he says... although he's given me no need to do that for a long time.

For his part, he's learnt how easily a little bit of banter by the coffee machine can escalate very quickly into something dodgy and goes to great pains to avoid such situations.

He's also manned up and grown some balls.. my mother is now very ill and he's really stepped up and been supportive while I've been caring for her.. whereas previously he would have stayed out of the way and made me feel guilty for 'neglecting' him.

Take your time RB, read the Shirley Glass book and don't rush into anything. Don't be afraid to be alone, you would cope if it came to that - and don't be afraid to stay with him if that's what you want.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 10/09/2010 13:56

Akhems I suspect you would agree however that you cannot even begin to move on and decide to "stay" with someone while the other relationship is still ongoing.

RBJ lots of affairs are like fantasies and it is the secrecy and illicit nature of them that serve to fuel the intense feelings. For some people, even after their partner has discovered the affair, it is still not enough to burst the bubble and end the relationship.

This is why you must not collude with him in keeping this a secret from the wider world. If he hasn't made a definite decision by now to end things with OW and sever all contact, there are some very definite things you can do to hasten this process - and also give you back some self-esteem.

You start confiding in RL people, including your in-laws. You ask him to give you space and move out. If he wants to see his DD, you facilitate contact with boundaries, but you don't take that on as your responsibility; it is his. In all these actions, you take back your control.

Very often, once an affair becomes public knowledge to people like his work colleagues (given what you've said about his camera, they know anyway) his family and his friends and he faces the reality of having to sleep on a mate's floor, the shine of the affair partner wears off pretty rapidly.

If the OW has her own place, perhaps you fear that if you ask him to leave, he will go to live with her? Well, this is one of those situations where you will have to risk that happening, but again this tends to hasten an affair's end, when one or both of them realise that they aren't God and they do their washing and fill rubbish bins like the rest of us.

In doing all this, you take back your control and hasten resolution, one way or another.

Now, this is going to be difficult to do if you're not getting support from people in RL, which is why I'd urge you to talk to someone who has your best interests at heart. Avoid anyone who sees it as a competition between you and the OW and friends who feel that women should just suck up whatever is thrown at them, "for the sake of the children" should be avoided too.

That phone counselling session would be good (today, if possible?) but in finding a counsellor generally, the two questions I would ask in screening for one would be: "What experience do you have of helping individuals/ couples deal with infidelity?" and "Have you read Not Just Friends? and if so, what is your view of it?"

Please don't be passive - and when you get that book, the first things Shirley Glass (and indeed any author on infidelity) says must happen is that the affair is ended and contact with the affair partner, severed.

countingto10 · 10/09/2010 18:22

Have a look at this. I found this website very helpful after discovering my DH's affair 18 months ago.

No two person reacts the same, but you do need to take control. My DH's stayed at his parents for 2/3 months, during that time we went to counselling and spent time together alone and as a family, trying to rebuild the marriage. But we both wanted the marriage to work. It was not an easy ride and still isn't in many respects but it is doable. WWIFM has such wonderful advice and it was she who pointed out that in fact my DH was with an OW even though I couldn't believe that of him.

Take your time and get him to give you space, I was so eager to get back to normal that I did a lot of things "wrong" but I did make him pack all his stuff up in bin bags and I saw a solicitor within a day of finding out - the anger/humiliation made me do that.

Good luck.

RBJ72 · 10/09/2010 20:23

Hi countingto10 - can you repost the website link as it hasn't shown up in your post. Thanks

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vertigo · 10/09/2010 20:34

hi RBJ72. Click on the word "this" and it will take you there

expatinscotland · 10/09/2010 20:48

WWIFN sums it all up as usual. This doesn't bode well from the sounds of it.

Please go see a solicitor, too.

Also, get a STI screening. Chances are, he's lying about having not slept with her since he's already proven himself a liar.

panicandanxiety · 10/09/2010 21:08

I'm finding this very hard to get my head around when he has been a kind, caring and loyal person throughout our marriage. It's like I don't know him anymore.

I can sympathise with what you have said - I had trouble with that. But looking back I think I made myself think he was something he wasn't and nagged him in to being less selfish. i.e. there was always a so called valid rerason why he wouldn't drive me to hospital for lack of foetal movement etc. My ex's behaviour in the spilt has shown how self-absorbed he really is and it sounds like your husband is pretty selfish too. Have you idolised him and now he is showing his true colours? Looking back my ex was so cold the last few weeks/months we were together I think he had actually made me depressed.

RBJ72 · 12/09/2010 20:35

OK, so he has just moved out.

I asked him to leave so that we could both get our heads straight about how we feel. He is not saying that it is all over with OW because he is confused himself about his feelings. Coming home to me where we pretend that everything is normal won't help either of us work out how we feel about all this.

When I said I wanted him to move out he finally showed some emotion which gave me the confidence to stick to my guns and make it happen. If he is going to wake up and smell the coffee then it won't happen if he's still at home because it's almost as if he's gotten away with it.

So far I'm ok. I need to spend some proper time thinking about our relationship and what I actually feel about it.

We will see each other again on Wednesday at the counselling session.

WWIFN, I've been talking to my BF in Oz on Skype throughout all of this and she has been a great support. I'm not ready to tell family yet as I can't deal with all the questions, upset and worry.

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FrogInAJacuzzi · 12/09/2010 20:59

Well done RBJ - I admire your strength and resolution. I wish my friend had your courage. Until your H is absolutely and totally committed to ending the relationship with the OW, to the point where he is actively asking for a transfer/looking for another job, your marriage will be in a holding pattern. You will be consumed with doubt and suspicion and he will continue to harbour feelings for the OW. This is the pattern that I've seen in my friend's marriage and it's not something you'd wish on anyone.

You said on one of your earlier posts "It's like he doesn't seem to care about my feelings at all." I'm sure this isn't the case - I'm sure he still loves you but is so guilty and conflicted, doesn't know how to feel about the situation and consequently is trying to shut off emotionally.

Good luck - I hope this all works out. At the very least you've shown him that he can't just get away with it and that what he's done has real consequences that he now has to honestly face up to.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/09/2010 21:16

Hello RBJ. Thanks for updating. I really admire your courage. You will never, ever regret this move. You are of course absolutely right that your H has got to live the reality of being separated from you and your DD to make a decision.

I am glad that you made this about both of you, in terms of your feelings. He needs to accept that you might well not want him back, even if he decides to end the relationship with OW and re-commit to his marriage. Like I said upthread, it will be helpful to make some very clear conditions about coming back, if and when he decides to - and if you want him back.

I'm glad you're talking to someone in RL, even if it is through Skype. Have you mentioned any of this to your midwives or GP? You might be able to get an urgent counselling referral and they might also be able to advise you about STI testing, as one very wise poster suggested.

Keep posting, you've come a long way and you're doing all the right things.

RBJ72 · 14/09/2010 09:44

Thanks WWIFN. Really good to read your post this am as having a bit of a wobble as DD was up this am running around looking for Daddy and I feel like I am depriving her of her father. But if he won't face up to the fact that he has turned everything to shit then how can I have him back. He still thinks he can pretend that everything is ok. I saw him last night as he picked up DD from nursery and he wanted to talk about the holiday we have planned in October as he'd met up with the guy we are renting the villa from. I was so gobsmacked that I didn't say anything. How can he think we can go away and behave as normal when he hasn't even broken if off properly with OW. The only way he is going to realise what he has done is if I don't let him back.

You mentioned in an earlier post about setting boundaries for his visits home. Can you give me any more guidance on this?

I don't want to think about STIs but I think I better not stick my head in the sand on this one. Think I was checked for some eg HIV as part of pregnancy check ups but will check with midwives.

We are seeing counsellor tomorrow evening so will update after that.

Thanks again for all the support.

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WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/09/2010 11:09

I'm not surprised you're having a wobble, but stand firm - you have come so far and I will be there every step of the way, so keep posting. Smile

The boundaries are designed to force him to realise that at the moment, your romantic relationship is over. That only the co-parenting relationship exists.

That means that ideally, he takes your DD elsewhere for his contact visits. If that's not possible, either because you feel she's too young or because of where he's staying, then if these visits must be at your house, you go out as soon as he arrives - and ask him to leave shortly after you return.

You confine your conversations to matters relating to DD, the pregnancy and household business.

Do please have a chat with your health professionals. They will be sympathetic, will have heard it all before and it will be confidential. You will no doubt burst into tears as soon as you have to tell someone all this face to face, but that will be good for you and will make it seem much more "real" than it feels at the moment.

He is still not facing reality, hence the holiday talk. You can withdraw this at a later date, but I'd be inclined to say that he will not be going on the holiday, because you are a separated couple and it is far too soon to be trying to co-parent alongside one another.

Let's hope he wakes up before the holiday date arrives. If he is going to, I promise you he will come to his senses sooner this way, than if you had let him stay. Regard this as a long game.

BarmyArmy · 14/09/2010 16:00

Speaking generally, us blokes tend to much prefer focussing on practical things (i.e. the holiday you were planning etc) instead of discussing emotions in the way that women so love.

So, I wouldn't necessarily see his mentioning it as evidence of him being on a completely different plant to you - more that he is trying to deal with 'stuff' that is easier to deal with (holiday, not 'wasting' money etc etc) than touch the stuff that is harder - guilt, betrayal, temptation, commitment etc etc.

RBJ72 · 14/09/2010 19:32

BarmyArmy of course he would prefer to talk about a holiday rather than how he has torn our family apart and destroyed the trust that we had!

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ChippingIn · 14/09/2010 20:43

How has DD been today?

vertigo · 14/09/2010 23:20

Hello RBJ

I, too, admire how you have found inner resources to deal with this, and at such a vulnerable time.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow and looking out for you supportively where I can. Smile

RBJ72 · 16/09/2010 13:45

Very intense session at counsellor. She concentrated on DH's family breakdown, how that made him feel and as a result of being on his own with his mother that makes him used to being the one who gets all the attention.

We discussed the issues I have with DH and OW still working together and the fact that he can't cut off the friendship just like that. Counsellor made him empathise with how that makes me feel.

Couple of revelations:

  • DH feels that it is the right thing to do to try and save marriage. Counsellor's response: But what do you WANT to do? DH is confused on this front but he says not about who to be with just confused in general.
-DH admitted that he wasn't actually that unhappy in the marriage when the affair started. Just used that as an excuse. I think someone posted on this thread about this ie that he's by nature a monogomous(sp?)person so in order to rationalise the affair he created issues at home.

My issues:

  • I need him to want to save the marriage not do it because it's the right thing to do
  • His continuing friendship with OW. He knows how feel about this and what he needs to do about it ie in the short term ensure their relationship is only business related and if she tries to make it personal that he has to refuse to engage on that level and then tell me what happened. (ref Shirley Glass)
  • I still don't know how I feel about the marriage and whether there is something there worth saving
  • If we do get past this then him needing to be put on a pedestal and feeling like the most important person will be even harder for me to deal with DC2 arrives.
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