Rude Mother At The Park - Tight Over Banana

[Oneday]

I was asking about mother and toddler groups. I don't know her, but we've spoken a couple of times and I've always found her weird with me. So on this occasion her little girl had run off, having presumeably eaten most of the banana. My little girl reached out at the banana in the woman's hand (only a tiny piece left). She hid it behind her back, said "Oh, you like banana too, do you?" with a "Tough S**t" expression on her face and a ridiculous smile to me. What sort of cow would begrudge a baby reaching out for a piece of wretched banana? What is wrong with her?

She has not taken to me from the outset, this woman, and I've tried to be overly pleasant so that I am the 'bigger' person in this, not lowering myself to being rude etc and possibly trying to prick her conscience because she is always off with me.

I know it's not that big a deal, and I'm hardly crying into my pillow about it, but this is not on. Is it?

(But definitely an EXCELLENT thread title!)

We all have off days, and the daftest thing can tip me over the edge when that happens to me. Lost count of the number of times it has happened.

fair enough, one of those where you have to be there? Do you really feel you need to keep being 'overly pleasant'? If you don't like her, isn't it easier to simply give up talking to her?

well, we all meet people in life who, for one reason or another just don't like us! and i am sure most of us here have met people we don't like...

maybe she is just one of those?

i do think you have read a bit much into what she says though. i mean, you say that she hid the banana with a ""Tough S**t" expression on her face" BUT, that may not have been her intention at all!
again, you mention
in, clearly, the most condescending tone she could muster. Proabably having said to her husband (Single mother over there, not PLU etc etc.

you have no idea what, if anything, she has said about you to her husband. and she may not have meant to sound condescending!

i do think you are jumping to conclusions and making wild assumptions about this woman's behaviour!

Thanks Moondog. Thank you. I may be lonely and confused but I do not misread situations to this extent. Yes I'm oversensitive, and yes I feel worse now. I'm not wrong about this, but I know it's not the end of the world. Of course I'm not falling apart over the banana woman. Who gives a toss, ultimately? She's just a woman who I don't like and who doesn't like me, yes, Mud. And if most other things were great I'd be able to even not think about it. I don't know. I just need some gentleness at the moment, I guess. From everyone. And it's too tall an order. It doesn't matter. I know what I mean. Sorry

maybe because you feel vulnerable (as you said) you think that people are thinking bad things aboiut you?
does that make sense?
i went through many years assuming people hated me, for the most stupid reasons! just because i was so lacking in self-confidence

Oneday, do you really want to continue to make an effort with this woman? It sounds as though you don't need the grief...just cut her out and don't let her bother you (easier said than done I know!).

Yes, that's it. A tiny stupid thing that tipped me over the edge. It is NOT about this woman, I know that. Yes, deeper issues. There are always deeper issues. I wish there weren't

so what is the probnlem then, the thing with the internet is you have to self-analyse and jsut spill the beans because no-one can read your body language. so if you post that its the banana that bothers you people will address that

i am not good at online gentleness but i am listenting if you want ot talk

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS WOMAN. She's a symptom, and this is not about a huge thing. Just unnecessary, and I think I'm being misunderstood here, or else I'm just not clear or I'm expecting people to know me when they don't. or something. Sorry,

a good idea in these situations is to put yourself int he other person's shoes.. and try and think about what kind of day they may have had

ie, if it was you with the banana... would you have given it away?
etc etc... you can apply this to all situations, not just banana-related ones!

anyway, i do find that sometimes if i do this i end up thinking, well.... actually what they've done isn't so bad after all

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That's it, Mud. I'm expecting something that's not possible, possibly. Yes, we're on the internet, and that's right, I was trying to ask an opinion about one situation which I actually realise has nothing to do with my feelings towards it and I'm projecting all my own shit onto it, and that's what I got. You are right. Sorry.

I know where you are coming from Oneday, have been there myself with similar people.

Think the best advice I ever read somewhere is to try and only have positive people around you, to make the effort with people who DO make you feel good.
And all the negative ones can go and f**k themselves, they're not worth the effort and just drain you.
I appreciate you might have to bump into this woman at times, but i would just completely ignore her in the future. Let her go and mess up someone else's head!

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it wasnt a whoel banana though.

oneday what is it a symptom of? or are you just mouthing off because its a good release which is also fine. i'm on my own and bored tonight so happy to chinwayg

Can I just say, I am not crying over a spilt banana, or its owner's attitude. Perhaps I hoped it would turn into a wider conversation about anything at all; I didn't know it had to just stick to one thing. I thought it could be a conversation and someone could say Did you hear that they've found a new island on the moon and someone else could say No Wow. Sorry. Look, I'll go now, I feel worse and I didn't want to cause fuss. I don't care about the banana or the woman. And I couldn't give a toss if I never see her or her bananas again. It was a symptom of a wider conversation. I got the protocol wrong, I'm not used to online conversations. My fault.

Oh miserable cow!

I was out with my mam and 2 dds yesterday and dd2 (6 months) needed feeding. We went into a cafe and i was just about to sit at the last available table and this old miserable bint literally came infront of me and sat down.
I can honestly say i was speechless at her rudeness and just stood there staring above her while she made her tea. Evetually she looked up and said, "there are two extra chairs if you'd like to sit" and i literally barked out "OH NO NO YOU@RE ALRIGHT THERE........." stormed out and called her an old bat and then went back in, waited and sat on a table opposite to feed the baby and watched her eating her pie

(I always feel guilty when i've been rudew to old people though, even when they are pig ignorant!)

Thanks, Meggymoo, thanks Calista. I was beginning to really doubt I was on Earth

Oh dear, oneday, is there any chance you could raise a small smile at this obsessing over the sodding banana - then your time here wouldn't have been entirely wasted?

FWIW I understand completely where you are coming from. Some days just one tiny thing is a tiny thing too far.

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Cod!

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Starlover. Yes, I can be paranoid. But mostly I don't think people are thinking bad things about me. They are too busy thinking about their own lives to have the time! Mostly people seem friendly. My confidence is not at its best, but I'm not that bad.