DP and FB (Yes another thread like this!)

[TinkerTailerS]

Name changed! (If you know who I am please dont out me)

Just wondered if this is me being paranoid as my (d)p says it is.

My DP often goes out with a group of friends. this includes his best friends girlfriend and one friend of hers.

This friend is too fully on I feel. her and my DP text alot. she has pics of them all over facebook. sends him flirty little messages.

the other day at 3am he updated his status to

Him: Cant sleep, sore throat

then there were loads of comments saying stuff then:-

Her: Get a nice warm drink. or put a film on x
Him: Nothing on x
Her: You've got nothing on?! x Wouldnt be the first time huh xx
Him: You know me, first chance and I'm stripping off xx
Her: No wonder you're bloody ill then ;P xx
Him: Your fault ;) Check your phone xx
Her: I'm in bed! xx
Him: Inbox then x

And he says this is ok cause its all up front.

She is exactly his type. he has said that if I hadnt got pregnant him and her more than likely be together (i got pregnant VERY quickly)

He's a prick right?

Honey, i think you are not in love with him, you can't be cos he's not remotely in love with you.

You are in love with the idea of being in love with him. You can't be IN LOVE on your own.

yeah he hasn't even got the balls to step up and end it, he's waiting for you to grow a pair and do it for him.

spineless arsehole that he is.

I know :( just sad to be part of something thats a failure.

he's now gone to the pub while I'm packing up for me and 4DCs.

he's admitted that he wants to be with her but shes not interested in him while he's seeing someone. he said they've shared a drunken kiss but she stopped it and said it wasnt to happen.

then why is she flirting with him all the time?

pair of shitheads :(

i know how to pick em me.

Now he admits to a kiss? there has been more, I'm sure :( Why is she flirting with him? Because she fancies him, and she doesn't care that you are getting hurt, and she knows that it's only a matter of time before he caves, if he hasn't already. She's playing 'hard to get' and he's loving it. Please don't imagine that if she wasn't around he would be faithful - he doesn't have it in him.

for you tinker but agree with everyone else.

He doesn't love or want you.

Leave now and keep your dignity.

:( for you...but you need to get out.

He's a knob jockey who doesn't care about you or your dd together.....I really hope if he gets with this OW that it goes tits up for the pair of them.

Remember hun..Karmas a bitch and he's got plenty of bad karma stored up

packing now. he has left his facebook logged in but i dunno if i even want to look or if it just causes more heartache.

In a short time from now, things will feel better, you are doing the right thing.

He doesn't matter, she doesn't matter, only you and your DC matter. Nothing else.

TBH I would look at his FB page at this point. I bet he's been feeding her a load of lies about you and seeing those might help you realise what a total wanker he is.

I think it's a little unfair to call him a knobjockey or a prick or a heartless bastard.

Sounds to me more like he got a woman he barely knew pregnant and has been trying to do right by her (and her other 3 children). He let them all move into his house, he provided for them.

But it turns out that life with children is really hard work and doing it with someone you don't love is impossible.

He probably feels trapped by a situation not entirely of his making and has been extremely foolishly thinking he could be happy just being friends with this girl and still live up to his commitments as a father.

I think it's incredibly unfair to say he doesn't care about his daughter, given the lengths he's gone to to provide her with a traditional family set up despite getting her mother pregnant in far from ideal circumstances.

hey op - so sorry. if you are having any doubts about leaving check out his fb - it will prob tell you all you need to know :-(

you have your dignity - at least you didnt knowingly just sit there while he had an affair.

you will be alright- better to be alone than unhappy/walked all over x

Looked.

Only 1 message in his in box. between him and her.

must have deleted the past history cause it makes no sense at the start.

Her -
This again? You're my friend and you've supported me but you need to talk to Tinker about this stuff
xx

Him-
And then what? Don't mean to hurt her but we're over. Where does that leave me and you? xx You know how I feel. xx

Her-
We'd have a long way to go but sort your shit out then maybe we'll talk. Give it a few months on singledom. It is quite fun ya know ;) xx

Him-
Gonna try and talk to her tonight. xx

That was from when I was in hosp after having DD. :( :( :(

i couldnt copy and paste the messages but those were the gists.

tbh it sounds like they're both playing games and you just caught in the middle of it with 4 kids. was it early to fall PG to the bloke - yes but well it happens.

she most definatly knows he's with you, and is being suggestive enough to tempt him but I bet she would find the reality a whole lot different and he'd end up trying to come back.

either way you're better off away from the pair of them.

That's it Tinker at least you know, walk away with your head held high.

sort of what skidoodly said, but when it all comes down, and clearly it has all come crashing down, you need to do what you have done and are doing - pack, leave, get your head and heart back together.

Taking a copy of his fb messages (use print screen, dump it in an email, then send it to yourself) won't hurt if you ever weaken / need to prove a point in the future.

It does seem like he doesn't know how to end it himself. Seems very odd to leave fb logged with only that message not deleted.

I would be gone by morning if I were you.

But I am sorry, it sounds rotten.

I think he thought he'd logged out? When I conffronted him tonight the first thing he did was sit down at the comp and start messing about. I guess deleting messages? he closed the page but when I reopened he hadnt logged out. looked at her pics when logged in as him and there are loads of her 'performing' where he has put suggestive messages on.

We're all packing now. thanks for the help ladies.

TBH I can believe they haven't had sex. It sounds like he's fixated on her and she can take or leave him (literally as he's made it clear she can have him anytime she wants).

You deserve better, it's great that you're leaving. Stay left.

Remember your DC is entitled to money from him etc. Get onto that ASAP, ask your ex how he will be providing for your DC.

Good luck Tinker xx

Remember you don't deserve to be treated like this. He is a arsehole.

shagging, bastard facebook again. I'm getting T Shirts printed.

I think you're doing the right thing by leaving (did I miss why he isn't leaving btw? Can't find that post). It will be fine, just stay strong for a bit while you sort out money etc and get the best situation you can for you and your DCs.

For what its worth I don't think she shagged him, but that doesn't matter. As someone in the same situation, I think you're better off without the weasel.

He sounds like a complete shit.
Flush him.

He's not leaving because it's his house.