DP and FB (Yes another thread like this!)

[TinkerTailerS]

Name changed! (If you know who I am please dont out me)

Just wondered if this is me being paranoid as my (d)p says it is.

My DP often goes out with a group of friends. this includes his best friends girlfriend and one friend of hers.

This friend is too fully on I feel. her and my DP text alot. she has pics of them all over facebook. sends him flirty little messages.

the other day at 3am he updated his status to

Him: Cant sleep, sore throat

then there were loads of comments saying stuff then:-

Her: Get a nice warm drink. or put a film on x
Him: Nothing on x
Her: You've got nothing on?! x Wouldnt be the first time huh xx
Him: You know me, first chance and I'm stripping off xx
Her: No wonder you're bloody ill then ;P xx
Him: Your fault ;) Check your phone xx
Her: I'm in bed! xx
Him: Inbox then x

And he says this is ok cause its all up front.

She is exactly his type. he has said that if I hadnt got pregnant him and her more than likely be together (i got pregnant VERY quickly)

He's a prick right?

My Dh is a hardworking good man.

He does not text/fb flirt with other women.
He does not go watch other women dance in burlesque shows, he respects me as his partner and mother to his children.

Its a two way street! He starts treating me the way you are being treated? He will be gone. End of.

A good man doesn't tell his partner that if she hadn't got pregnant, he would be with someone else.

You did get pregnant too quickly. It's not a question of blame- but if it is then you're both equally responsible. Sometimes this situation works out well, other times it doesn't.
More often than not it doesn't.
Is there anyone you know in real life who can help you if you do have to leave?
Really, really think you need to confide in them.
Please do. You are vulnerable at the moment. Get a good friend or relative to help if you can.

I have no one here. I moved here about 12mths ago.

I know my dp's friends girlfriends and thats it. I could ask one of them but I dont want this girl to know we're having problems i think she would pounce.

I would put money on it that he is shagging her.
He said himslef he is only with you because you got pregnant, please wake up he's telling you he doesn't want you but not in so many words.

I think if she butted out we could be ok.

I'm sorry but you are kidding yourslef.

You are kidding yourself, he does not want you, I guarantee he is having sex with her, it's almost a given.

The relationship would have died ages ago as they do in the early staged, but you were pregnant. He does not love you, he wants her.

He has not got the guts to tell you and is acting like a wanker as he can't be honest.

You are NOT paranoid. This is the standard excuse all cheaters use. It's akin to 'crazy making'. That will be next. He will have you doubting your own sanity. Tell him he can have her!! One day he'll cheat on her too. Go and find yourself somebody more worthy of you.

If it's not this girl, now, it'll be another one later. Why did you move to where you are now? As it was before you met him, presumably for an external reason? Hopefully whatever that was is enough to help you move on from this.

Sorry but he's treated you like an idiot. Your instinct is telling you something is not right and the fact that he's deleting text messages and going to see her dance half naked et etc is not a good sign to me.

I'd kick his arse out pronto and if he's not up to anything he'll do whatever is required to ensure he gets back with you. Better to be on your own than with someone who will remove all your self confidence.

Yes, he's a prick. Yes, you can do better. Yes, you will cope when you leave the tosser.

He sounds very immature, cruel and deceitful. She's not covering herself in glory but she's not in a relationship with you. Nothing wrong with people in couples having platonic friendships, but this is so much more than that.

Surely better to be physically on your own with the kids than stuck feeling humiliated and alone in a relationship like this?

Mate, if it's not her it will be someone else. Sorry to say that as you got pg a month in you don't actually have a relationship with him. There's no base, no foundation. It's a house built on sand. You have 3 other DCs and you live in his house? My suggestion is leave him, take your DCs back to where you lived before and go to the housing dept and present as in housing need. You are completely flogging a dead horse with this 'relationship'. He doesn't respect you, or love you by the sounds of it, I can't see how you can actually respect or love him, it's done.

thesun and emmy are right.

Listen to what he's saying - he wishes he was with her, he prefers her to you and is only with you because you got pregnant.

What on earth are you doing making yourself and 4 children completely dependent on a man you barely know?

She's not the problem here and he's only part of it. You had a big part to play in creating this situation and it's not going to end well. Your poor children :(

trust your insticts if you really believe there's something going on, you should really be asking yourself are you going to be that woman that just ignores it as he's a good hard working man? If it comes to it put your name on the homeless list or speak to womans aid (they dont just take in domestic abuse cases) surely anything is better than staying in a relationship were you have doubts about the others faithfullness (if thats even a word!)

So are you going to stay where you are not wanted cause you are afraid you cannot cope with 4 children? i have 3 and i know what sitution i would rather be in and it is not as hard as you think.

I'm very much in love with him and just sad that he obvously doesnt wnat me like he wants her.

i'd love to know for sure if he's shagging her.

gonna go to the housing office tomorrow and say he's kicking me out. I know its stupid and blind but I just wish she would disappear.

Aww i know you do but he doesn't love you :( It's easy to see it as a outsider.

He is the problem if it wasn't her it would be someone else.

If it wasn't her it would be someone else becaue HE is the problem.

He's not being upfront, he's just doing what he wants, when he wants, and you aren't important enough for him to factor into all of this.

He has zero respect for you, he clearly doesn't love you, and has no sense of commitment to you.

It's his fault all of his, bin him, he is wasting your time.

The sooner you rip this plaster off, the sooner it will stop hurting.

So sorry.

He is trying to tell you in the most heartless way he is a coward and you deserve better and your children do.