Friends?

[coodles]

I recently had to go into hospital for an operation and ended up being off work for 6 weeks. Early on, I was very tired and couldn't do much at all.

During these weeks,some friends were brilliant, visiting me in hospital, cooking meals and just making the effort to come round for a chat as I couldn't drive.Others who are very busy themselves, would ring for a chat.

But some, who I had thought were good friends, didn't even phone to see how I was.
Now, maybe this sounds a bit pathetic and needy, but I suppose because I was recovering from a major operation it made me think that they obviously weren't people to rely on. Now I'm wondering if I even want to stay friends with them?

Having said that, I know everyone has their own problems and maybe they were having a bad time too..........

Well sounds like you have some really good friends anyway so wouldn't worry too much.

People are busy and maybe they were talking to each other to make sure you were ok?

I am a great friend ...i will do anything for any of my friends ....if they ask ....but i do need to be asked ...i am so unthoughtful in some ways.

Great friends aren't always the ones that fulfill all of your expectations of them.

Some people need to be asked. Some people will be busy with their own problems, some people might not cope well with other people who have just had operaions etc.

Doesn't always mean they don't care. Some might not be true friends, but some will be. You just mihgt need to see what they brign to mthe friendship, you might not be able to rely on them to look after you after an operation, but they might be great for something else.

Hi, thanks for comments.

I think for me its maybe a bigger issue because I have a very small family and get no support really from them.

So because of that, I do rely more on my friends. It was odd because people I had thought of as really good friends(and who had said they'd be in touch) just didn't contact me at all. I suppose I was surprised and a bit disappointed....even though I know they might have been having a bad time too.

Reading other threads, this seems trivial really, but it has made me look at them in a different light and at the moment, I just don't feel like contacting them.