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Original poster

DH, his ex and FB

88 replies

Fibilou · 09/08/2010 09:08

About 6 months ago DH left his facebook messages open and I found messages from his ex. To put you in the picture she was cheating on her husband with DH (long before we met) so is not a very nice person. The messages were quite flirty but I didn't say anthing, just thought I would see how things panned out.
We were talking about it a couple of days ago and DH said he had not spoken to her for ages. He left his FB open again last night and there were two messages from him ending in kisses and the last one said "text soon".

AIBU to think there is more behind this than DH is willing to admit ? He has just been moved from working in our home town to working near her house and I am convinced paranoid that he is going to meet up with her. He knows I know he's been in touch and just laughs it off. I don't know what to do

OP posts:
whatifihadneverbothered · 09/08/2010 12:07

Well said SwallowedAfly, an ex is an ex for a reason, so why bother even entering any sort of contact, unless one of them wants more, and in this situation going on past history I think one of them does.

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:07

DF, her number isn't in his phone and there are no texts on it either from or to that number. However he could easily have called her from work or deleted the history. If I was having an affair he'd never catch me out.

OP posts:
MovingBeds · 09/08/2010 12:08

how has she got his number?

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:09

Also the fact that he is not remotely possessive over his email/FB passwords or phone make me think there's nothing going on - but then I wonder if I'm being double bluffed ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:11

She has his mobile number because he hasn't changed it in years. I guess she might still have it somewhere. She got our phone number at home somehow and phoned at midnight, crying. DH told her where to go and put the phone down, but who knows what he might have done if I hadn't been here ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:12

I don't know whether I sound crazy paranoid or not. Apart from the "text soon x" there is nothing to suggest he is planning on or is having an affair with this woman.

OP posts:
MovingBeds · 09/08/2010 12:13

so his mobile number was the same as when they were together then?

why did she ring your dh crying, what was the reason?

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:14

God knows, I wasn't part of the conversation, just went bananas at him when he finished the call. Some problems with her husband I think.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 09/08/2010 12:16

seriously she should back off, and if she won't he should be backing off from her.

whatifihadneverbothered · 09/08/2010 12:17

Why would she ring your husband crying? ffs thats not a normal thing to do, especially if they had only just e-mailed like you said. Something here is not quite right, sounds to me like they have been in contact quite a while, I bloody know for a fact that I would not ring an ex in tears.

MovingBeds · 09/08/2010 12:20

I don't really know what is going on with your husband but she sounds like a complete bunny boiler. Does she not freakhim out at all with her behaviour?

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:20

They definitely weren't in touch when she phoned here - it was about 2 years ago and on the first message DH sent her on FB he was filling her in on about the last 4 years which presumably he wouldn't have done if they'd been in touch within the last 2 years ?

Friends and his family have told me she is very odd, a real drama queen and they were all very relieved when her husband found out about the affair adn it ended

OP posts:
Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:21

I think she must have got our number out of the phone book as we have a very unusual surname

OP posts:
IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 09/08/2010 12:27

The ringing in tears would be ringing massive alarm bells for me and strongly suggests there is more going on here than the odd 'how are you going' text.

AnyFucker · 09/08/2010 12:37

how long ago did she ring at midnight, in tears ?

StudiousSal · 09/08/2010 12:37

Defiantly more going on here than meets the eye!!

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:43

She rang about 2 or 3 years ago.

OP posts:
MovingBeds · 09/08/2010 12:47

I would start ringing her husband in the middle of the night crying and see how she likes to be quite honest
yes, it is childish but she might get the message

why don't you reply to your dh's fb message 'you sound desperate'Hmm

AnyFucker · 09/08/2010 12:49

if your DH leaves his FB open again, perhaps you could reply as him with some rather leading, flirty comments

see how it goes down ...

or is that too crazy ?

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:50

I'm contemplating replying pretending to be DH actually... but that could backfire if he sends a message afterwards

OP posts:
MovingBeds · 09/08/2010 12:51

well the woman sounds like she is after him anyway so the response would most probably be the same as if he acted uninterested?

StudiousSal · 09/08/2010 12:56

I did that AF, shit did it open my eyes, I got my answers I packed his bags straight away, rang him at work, and told him to feck off and never come back, and he did!

Didn't even complain about the bottle of bleach that I had poured all over his expensive clothes whilst they were in the bin bags complete bar steward!

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/08/2010 12:58

AF, I don't need him to leave it open, I know his password !

OP posts:
StudiousSal · 09/08/2010 12:59

Sorry OP went off track, I still say that you should monitor things and if there is the slightest sign that he or her have been in contact, then you really need to decide if you can live a life of lies.

StudiousSal · 09/08/2010 13:02

Perhaps it is her, maybe she wants more, did you reply to her message this morning btw? Your DH should be stating to her that really he is not at all interested and that he is not available as a friend to her, as he has all he needs in you, and leave her to it.