When you go on a date for the first time, what things really put you off

[electra]

that you feel you probably couldn't look past?

For me it's bad breath and when someone is waaaaaay too smooth.

I once went on a date with someone who

a) had no table manners
b) drank far too much
c) didn't want to get a taxi back, even though I said I would pay for it because it was quicker than waiting for the train. He made a big song and dance about it and so in the end I gave in and got the train with him, which made my journey home an hour instead of 20 minutes (whcih at 11PM ish matters).
d) when we got to the station, he abandoned me for his bus home. Thus I had to walk the rest of the way by myself (about a mile), or go and wait even longer for a cab when I could have been home 40 minutes ago.

Class date

Reader, I married him.

Actually, scrap that last bit, I didn't! When he called the next day for another date, I said no thank you, I didn't think we were compatible.

OK, ladies and gents, how about this?

If you were on a first date with someone gorgeous and interesting and lovely and it was all going well, and they dropped into the conversation that they do not believe in sex outside marriage, ever, and they are a committed God-fan (any God) would you be put off? Assuming you were not a God-fan? Would it completely change the way you view them for the better/worse? Would you still want to pursue the relationship and just see what happens, and how long would be long enough before you got bored with waiting for a shag?

In no particular order:

1. Long fingernails. (I didn't go on a repeat date w someone solely because of this, and despite getting on really well).
2. Rudeness to waiters. ("Clear this fucking mess up" was one classic from Date to Waitress - table in a cafe hadn't been cleared)
3. Talking about their ex. Makes you think they're not over them.

Yep, long fingernails on a man (and just girly hands generally) would completely gross me out. I always look at a guy's hands very early on. If they are no good I can't fancy him. And rudeness to underlings/staff is a horrible charmless trait.

Haven?t been on a date for over a decade, but from what I can remember...

I can?t bear men NOT being smooth ? I simply loathe all that horrendously self-conscious, bumbling v. English, ?no, you - no, no, you?, Hugh Grant type ineptitude. (Probably explains why I?ve always had a thing for French/Italian men).

Dirty or cheap shoes.

Grubby. ragged fingernails.

Banging on about his ghastly job (usually in the City) and how basically the world would collapse if he wasn?t at his desk by 6.30 am.

Drinking too much

Not picking up the bill ? and preferably doing this without any fuss or expectation on his part at all. (On our first dinner date, my DH had settled the entire thing by the time I had come back from freshening up?)

Being rude to waiters/staff

Being loud and bumptious and NOT LISTENING.

Not knowing a little bit about wine (sorry, that?s unfair, but it does irritates me)

Staring at you inappropriately (e.g. down your top)

Not being able to dance.

Actually, it's a good job, DH likes high maintenance

I know it's a bit mean but I would find it hard to really like someone who was clearly very very unsophisticated. A handsome peasant is ok on a Greek beach but not in RL!

First date disasters in my life:

He turned up wearing a ferrari baseball cap (he was not Michael Schumacher by the way). In February.

Another one picked me up and was wearing black trousers but had white sports socks on with loafers.

Discussing his VAT returns (and showed me a letter from his accountant).

Another one I had been on a few dates with, he seemed normal, and then invited me to his flat for a chinese. His flat was disgusting. It hadn't been cleaned in months, had no hot water. The chinese was delivered. he had no plates, he found a couple of forks in the kitchen, and proceded to eat the chinese out of the foil dishes. With a fork that presumably hadn't been washed since the Crimean war. I was physically repulsed.

Thanks christ I have never been on date for ages, bloody nightmare.

Fellatio - the god man would put me off. Not necessarily teh sex thing - if someone was lovely you could work round that - but the religious aspcet would put me right off from the start.

If he bitches about all his exes.

If he has lost contact with his children and again blames his ex/es. No excuse!! A big no that one.

Poor hygiene.

Answering mobile every five minutes or checking texts etc. So rude.

No interest in current affairs etc. a big no.

Making racially prejudiced comments. I just loathe prejudice.

If they say they don't eat 'foreign food' makes them sound SO unsophisticated!

What constitutes "cheap" shoes? How much does a man have to have spent on shoes in order not to be judged for this?

Once had a guy endlessly discussing James Bond films and doing that imaginary firing of a gun with his fingers - "Pow...pow".

No, he wasn't twelve.

Eeek.

Let me see now UQD I think £250 Oliver Sweeneys is the very least I'd settle for.

ROFL at Getorf's dates. Who carries their accountant's letter aroud with them adn takes it on a date?

Yes the Jesus man would put me off. Not least because there is no way I could bear the thoguht of not having a shag unless I married. And don't tell me about tonguse and hands, I'm all in favour of both, but penises are pretty good too, frankly.

FellatioNelson - the upper limit of waiting for a shag is probably about 3 weeks. And I believe it takes at least 4 weeks for the banns, no?

It's not whether they are cheap, but whether they look cheap.

Oh, has anyone said football shirts yet?

Football shirt or any T-shirt with ENGLAND on it, with three quarter length shorts and trainers. Not a great look on anyone over 12.

(Especially not if it is accompanied by a beergut and tattoos on the calves.)

And anyone who texts and fiddles with their phone for hours on end wouldn't last long with me either.

I would assume that anyone that didn't want to shag me by the fourth date fundamentally odd. Or gay.

Football related tattoos.

Actually tattoos altogether. Mind you DP has got a tattoo, but is on his shoulder hidden away. That would have put me off at the beginning. Mind you he is a good bloke so it just goes to show.

Christ am I still talking.

Ooh goodee fourth date.

The bloke with the VAT return and accountant's letter also showed me his CSCS card (construction card or something, I wasn't really listening).

Perhaps he thought he was on a job interview or something.

It was a strange date. I had one drink and left.

OMG, this thread is an eye-opener.

If DH were to die, I wouldn't bother dating again.

After three marriages and many sexual partners, I just couldn't be arsed.

This is going to make me seem very shallow

Went on a date many moons ago, and he wore light blue ankle swinger jeans, with a dark blue jean jacket. When he took off the jacket her was wearing a wife beater i think it was netted . Right then and there i knew there would never be a 2nd date.

if josh had been in it i wouldn't have minded that much

I've not dated, either. Been on a handful of dates in my life.

One of my more disappointing conquests (who sadly didn't make it to bootcamp/second shag stage) entertained me in the morning by telling me all about his family. (bit soon, I thought ) Apparently his sister was a librarian and a lovely person but she had 'self-esteem issues' because she was always being 'undermined' by his mother.
And he expected me to want to see him again, after that?

I know we moan when blokes don't engage emotionally and open up, and all that stuff, but Jeez, there are limits.

I went on a date once and the guy bragged that he hadn't washed for three days eeerrrrggghhh! Needless to say i promptly finished my drink and legged it. DIRTY!!!