When you go on a date for the first time, what things really put you off

[electra]

that you feel you probably couldn't look past?

For me it's bad breath and when someone is waaaaaay too smooth.

Taking me to Cafe Rouge on a first date.

Dating full stop. I don't think I've ever dated in my life. Can't stand the artificiality of the situation.

Not fancying them! Real no no for me . If I do I can overlook other stuff for the second date.

If he smokes

I'd be fine with the smoking, we can sit outside looking at the stars having a cig, brilliant.

discovering that their on line pics bear little resemblance to them

poor table manners, passivity, dull conversation, right wing politics, nasty shoes

Things real people have done that have put me off:

1. tell me his name was Cliff (when I knew his name was really Paul)

2. take me to a Michelin starred restaurant and then ask "do you just do a plain fillet steak, well done, no sauce, and no veg."

3. (back at his place) offered me a cup of tea or coffee, or juice, or "I might have a glass of wine, I usually but a bottle each week and drink a glass most night with my dinner". We were never going to be compatable.

4. had a dick that really was the size and shape of my little finger.

Fortunately not all in the same bloke.

Thank God for that! Still, if the bloke with the paltry wine stocks had been hung like a donkey that would have been a real dilemma. What to do?

I'd be really disappointed if they smoked too. I used to put up with it in my dating days, purely because it was hard to find someone who didn't smoke - but if I had to start again now I don't think I could tolerate it - even if he was gorgeous. It would only cause tension further on in the relationship.

What's wrong with Cafe Rouge? I like Cafe Rouge. And Pizza Express, for that matter.

Pizza express for a date indicates you have no imagination imo. Its the sort of place you take your kids not a potential date.

The other thing that puts me off is dates who dont ever give out anything but a mobile phone and dont tell you their 2nd name. Ok for a first date but after a couple of dates I do start to wonder what they are hiding (i.e married, girlfriend) and would knock it on the head if they dont disclose anything about themselves. I am very open. If I have been out with someone a couple of times and I trust them I am quite happy for them to pick me up from home.

Elastamum - imagination? What, like you;re supposed to take people bungee jumping or some wierd 'fashion' restaurant where you eat gnats' bollocks or something?
OK so I don't really date and never really have, but I thought most people's 'dates' involve meeting somewhere convenient and affordable (like the pub) as the point is to get to know each other... (Like someone else said, I didn't think the sort of 'date' where you get all dressed up and go to a posh restaurant really existed outside of fiction and magazines that tell you How To Live).

Hi SGB, Not objection to a pub at all, in fact I usually meet in one.

I just dont like Pizza express or resturant chains(actually I dont really like Pizza and only eat it when I am out with the kids). There are some great little pubs round our way that do nice food and have good atmosphere and i would always go for one of them. That said my most fun first date was in an absolutely awful pub with terrible food as the one he had picked was shut!

any anti-women comments.

worst combination of personality traits imo is very serious but humourless (acceptable from a genius perhaps, but some ordinary guy with no sense of humour at all.... arhg)

(Serious with intelligence^ totally different though, also, don't mind a man who is averagely intelligent but can laugh at life)

Cafe Rouge = no imagination, no effort and no class. There's nothing wrong with Cafe Rouge per se, but it says the opposite of "romantic potential".

that showing loads of imagination picking a restaurant might have meant something to me once, but now I think it's all a show put on at the start anyway. I'd rather just 'click' with somebody in cafe rouge, rather than risk getting distracted by the picnic in a hot air balloon !!!

what about this one...

I went on a date and when we were walking back from the restaurant, we came to a pedestrian crossing, you know where you press the button and wait for the green man type.

A little boy was in front of us with his mum and was trying to reach up to press the button. My date dashed forward, leaned over the boy and pressed the button before the little boy could!! he then laughed evilly and said 'i always do that to little kids'

err...goodbye date!!

FellatioNelson PMSL at"Thank God for that! Still, if the bloke with the paltry wine stocks had been hung like a donkey that would have been a real dilemma. What to do?"

Aggression - always a total turn off and indeed a clear indication that you should abandon the date and cut all contact. Whether or not it's directed at you, aggression in public is a very clear signal of a potential abuser/date rapist.

Absolutely SGB. I hate men who want to fight everyone when they've had a drink, and are loud and intimidating in public. Total areseholes. What a turn-off. I hate very overtly macho meat-headed men as well.

Last time i was in a gay pub a guy came up behind me and took a full hand, both hands, of my butt cheeks and squeezed them like billio. The leaned around me and went helllloooooooo.

Didn't work for me.

I'm not surprised!

Hang on Coolfonz are you a gay man? not that that should automatically make a difference, but I assumed at first that you were a straight woman in a gay club.

im a straight man in a gay pub.

of course i did give him a spit wank but i was only being polite.

Ah, well, I suspect gay pubs are full of people who are much more, um, forward and to the point than most straight men. How was he to know you were straight? I'm sure it's a perfectly acceptable form of chat-up for gay men looking for a brief and uncomplicated bit of fun. Best wear an 'I am straight' sign on your head next time!

I keep my I am straight pink neon flowery sign on 24-7 these days, much to the annoyance of the missus.