Just feel like crying...

[SpiritualKnot]

Posted on here lots since break up of marriage in March. Thanks for support.

Saw photos on facebook of the OW today, shown to me by my colleague, she's not plain as ex H said, but v glam. My colleague knows her but doesn't like her, says she's dead gobby. Colleague only showed me as I felt it would be helpful, as she (the OW), works in the town where I live and I could be speaking to her one day and not know.

Colleague says she's also seen the photos of them at their work Xmas party on Facebook. I can't access them and we didn't have time at work for her to show me on her account. He says it started at the end of Jan, but now I think it was longer.

Also found out that her parents are only 5 years older than me, how devastating is that? She's 20 years younger tham me.

Aww mate thats shit. At the end of the day he has made a complete twat of himself and when he is an ageing croc, she will be lusting after someone her own age.

If I were you I would try and put it behind you and move on, give your self esteem a boost and do something that will make you feel fab, go out and enjoy yourself instead of stewing.

Flirt and have a bit of fun, try and enjoy your new status.

Inside you will still be healing but don't let him see how much it hurts. As for her, she will regret the choices she made trust me on that.

People only put the best pics of themselves on facebook...bet she looks a right dog first thing in the morning.

I have some neighbours behind me and he is very much older than his wife, at the time, I imagine she fell for the older man thing and him having the younger wife.

Recently in our local, she was openly flirting with men her own age and he sat there like a prize pensioner. Its a shame to see him shuffling down the road and I bet it has a physical imapct on the relationship too.

I say all this but this is how it looks like on the outside anyway.

EVERYTHING always looks different on the outside.

The Facebook pic and the hardfaced skank first thing in the morning reality are probably two very different things!

My FB pic makes me look x1000 times better than I do in real life.

They sound like the deserve each other...

I actually know someone who went to a studio and had proffessional pics done...just for Facebook...sad or what!

Alison - I know someone that did too.

There were lots of photos and she may not look brill in all of them, but she still looks 20 years younger than me! He's 10 years younger than me, so there's only 10 years difference between him and her.

He also told me that she doesn't drink (I barely drink) and now the colleague at work tells me she's a pisshead and the photos bear that out. Why has he told me that? He's a pretty heavy drinker himself, so don't know how that'll pan out?

spiritual, why in hell would you do that to yourself?

Have you not heard the expression ignorance is bliss?

You are needlessly torturing yourself, and i'm deeply suspect of your colleague's shit stirring motives. Shame on her!

So, ffing what if you spoke to her without knowing? What exactly do you have to hide????

It's her that needs to know when to duck and hide if you happened to appear on her radar.

Stop acting like you're the one in the wrong. You've done nothing wrong.

And get yourself a better group of friends at work. Kill fb too.

Ffs!

If its any consolation I know someone at work who did that (she was a contract pm who joined the company). Thing is, she targeted him from the first and was very obvious about what (or who) she wanted. Have since found out from someone she used to work with that this is the third time she's done it. Feel very sorry for all concerned, apart from her.

I've said it so much I'm boring myself. Facebook is the work of the Devil. No good can ever come of it. Stop looking. Delete. Step away.

I second or third the above. I bet she's a troll in the morning. Don't torture yourself, sounds like you've been through enough.

please don't think i'm not being sympathetic, i'd be the first to give you a great big hug, cos i know you're in bits. I'm just so pissed off at your colleague's car-crash tourism. Bet she's loving being the one to put you in a picture tnat's cutting you to the bone. The utter cow!

agree with hissy, your colleague sounds a little toxic. You do not need to see the photos/wear the t shirt. She may be a younger model and has managed to pull your ex, but hell, won't be long before she moves on to the next one. Make sure that by the time the tosspot comes crawling back you are having the time of your life and wouldn't even entertain him. It is his loss, his mistake, he has been taken for a twat by a younger model, serves him right.

I don't want to know MissHissy. Problem is, don't want to say what job the OW is in, but this town is full of them, they walk and drive around full of themselves and they're everywhere in this town. I've been walking around for months wondering which one she is. They all know my husband and what's been going on.

Another colleague of mine said she could find out how long it had been going on and I said I didn't want to know. But my husband is constantly playing the victim, telling me he's suffering and how this woman isn't v pretty and how her body isn't as good as mine etc.....and can he borrow some money off me please as he's having such a hard time of it.

SK...now you are in the picture you won't be feeling sorry for him, nor lending him any more money, will you ?

Every cloud...

Hi AF,

Haven't lent him any money, but stupidly said he could give me less money towards my daughter last month. May go via CSA instead.

He tried to get money from me coz his mobile phone bill was high as he was phoning all his mates and decided I should give him something so he could keep affording to ring his daughter. Told him to get a landline.

Yes and I can stop feeling sorry for him. Strange but I have felt sorry for him...that can stop now.

SK...the money bartering amounts to the same thing as I'm sure you are fully aware

yes, stop now

give yourself permission to stop

rise above it sk, it's not easy, but, love, it's your ex that was the idiot, still is, and you're well shot of him.

Please just keep telling your self that. You wouldn't want that sorry loser if he were dipped in gold...

Tell you colleagues to go get a proper hobby, cos picking over the bones of a dead relationship, they're not even remotely invested in is just sick and macabre.

Stay strong sk, and put all this shit behind you!

Sorry AF, does that mean the money bartering is part of my feeling sorry for him?

Can't see the wood for the trees at the minute.

money bartering ie. accepting less child support is the same as giving him money

don't give him any more money

good idea to go through CSA...he can't emotionally manipulate you via finances when it is official

If I saw a photo on fb of my soon to be ex H with his beau I would also find it incredibly difficult and painful and I too would probably cry I can imagine exactly how you feel and I sympathise. I actually go out of my way to protect myself by not wanting to know anything that is going on, where they go, what they do etc. Your H needs to do you the same courtesy as well and not tell you about her and that apparently she doesn't drink. Sounds like he's trying to manipulate you still and make you feel jealous too possibly about the OW?

Go through the CSA from now I think.

Ignore his pleas about money and his woman. He has chosen this lifestyle, walked this path. It was his choice not yours. Rise above it, maintain your dignity and walk with your head high. You deserve better and your life will get better.

There's a lovely community of ladies here if you would like some company on this painful journey you are on, with other people, who have also recently been left.

X posted with AF .

< waves back >