Does anyone think that having an affare should be a crime?

[Wanttofly]

It used to be and still is in many countries.

If you stand up and say vows and then lie to the other person and have sex with someone else why is it ok?

The affare hurts the other person more than someone steeling their stuff or taking a car and that is a crime.

So why is it not a crime to break up a family, to make children grow up with only one pereant?

When did it become ok to have an affare?

Sorry for spelling i'm dyslexic

There is a lot more to marriage vows than a mere vow of fidelity.

shall be advocate stoning as a punishment as well then

Yeah, that works really well in Saudi Arabia

er,no!!

and you dont't have to be 'married' to have an affair! or sex. or children.

So how would you punish these individuals who commit the "crime" of infidelity, without harming their families? A fine would take money from them, community service would take time away from them, and prison... well!

No, of course it shouldn't be a crime. The State interferes far too much in our lives already.

wanttofly - what an outrageous and disgusting suggestion!!

No it's a free country, we all make promises and break them...that's being human!

There are many, many, many reasons for having affairs and who are you to say that someone is wrong for having one!

Jeez it's a reasonable question, if a little naive - why the nasty responses?

afaik it is still unacceptable to the majority to have an affair

criminal though?
never

No, it shouldn't be a crime. My Ex had an affair - I know all about the pain involved, but a) it was a symptom of our bad marriage, not the cause of our bad marriage (although obviously it didn't exactly help) and b) what would have been better? That we stayed together, bickering and miserable, until old age? Or that Ex went to prison because he was stupid and unhappy and met someone who boosted his ego and made him feel better? Would that have been good for our DCs? And the DCs didn't lose a parent - we had shared custody.

It hasn't become OK to have an affair and it never will be. But people are people - we're fickle, we fall in and out of love. I understand that you're hurting and angry, and you're right to be hurting and angry, but making an affair a crime won't change the fundamental nature of people.

The OP is confusing moral obligations with legal ones. The two are very, very different. They should not always be blended; sometimes perhaps, but not always.

In this case, no it should not be a crime to have an affair. But explaining why is pointless, because if you're asking the question then words fail me...
The Middle East is that way>>>

Actually logically speaking it's quite a good question. It's the breaking of a legal contract (assuming you are married), causing emotional and possibly financial damage to another individual. So why, if you can be sued for the breaking of any other sort of legal contract, why not this one?

However it's not as simple as that. Of course.

Do you want someone to stay faithful to you because they're afraid of getting a criminal record or because they love you and want to be faithful?
I know which I pick.

I considered this when I thought back to my years-ago affair with someone married.

I felt I should have been punished - it felt like a crime iyswim. It was totally wrong.

Nobody got killed and nothing was stolen, but there was damage and the people involved got away with it - all except for a heavy burden of conscience which I still carry about.

I suppose that could be my punishment.

mmm i thought that as well orm...a civil not criminal case
but the terms are far too airy fairy

"So how would you punish these individuals who commit the "crime" of infidelity, without harming their families? A fine would take money from them, community service would take time away from them, and prison... well!"

Why would you have to punish the person without it affecting their family? Should no-one who commits a crime and has a family be fined, undertake community service or go to prison just because it would affect their family?

I don't see why the responses were so harsh either. It's a just a question. It might be the kind of consequence some people would need to make them think more carefully about having an affair.

"There are many, many, many reasons for having affairs and who are you to say that someone is wrong for having one!"

When is an affair ever right?

"Do you want someone to stay faithful to you because they're afraid of getting a criminal record or because they love you and want to be faithful?
I know which I pick."

I can appreciate that. But at the moment the consequence of an affair is pretty much nothing really.

It might be that the being punished somehow for a criminal offence would make someone think ... shall I have an affair and suffer the consequences or shall I get out of my unhappy marriage? It might make people work harder for their marriage than having an affair or leave before they hurt their family by taking part in one.

An interesting discussion I think.

ChocHobNob Sexual fidelity is not a key issue for some people in a marriage.
More important to some are: status, a companion of like mind, financial security and loyalty.

OP, it should most definitely not be a criminal offence to have an affair.
Anyway, a person who commits infidelity in some sense is "Punished" by the divorce courts already.

That's if the "wronged" wife or husband wants to divorce because of infidelity- not everyone does, of course.

I am naive.

but i dont undrestand why it is ok to get married then have a relationship with someone else. Why get marraied at all?

Why do people not just have open relationships?

I know it is every one's choice to have what ever relationship they want.

But if your friend or the person next door had 5 wifes or husbands what would you think?

Why is it not ok for the government to say that affares are a crime but being married to more than one person is?

I dont think affares should be a crime but i also think that the government should not get involved in relationships.

I just wanted to see what other people think about it?

ChocHobNob, if the OP wants infidelity to be a criminal offence becaue it hurts the family, where is the sense in punishing the errant parent in a manner which also hurts the family?

Fucking hell. Sorry, I know it doesn't really matter, but AFFAIR! AFFAIR!!!!

Are you quite young?

The longer you live, the more you learn that life, and hearts, and intentions, and promises, are more puzzling and confusing and hurtful than you could possibly imagine.

Sometimes you have to accept that things can and do and will go wrong, and that that's not always a bad thing.

Plus, you probably need to read more books...they're very illuminating about this sort of thing you know. Human art and artistic achievement would be very boring if our hearts were under lock-and-key by the state.

The whole point of marriage is that it is a legal contract (something which is forgotten about these days). Therefore a person who breaks that contract by infidelity will pay the price in the courts (that is, if the wronged party wishes to make an issue of it).

So adulterers are punished anyway, can't you see this, OP?

Yep, just read your point about being dyslexic and want to kill myself.

Sorry, OP - damned thoughtless of me.

No, you can't legislate for private behaviour like that.