Awful messy break-up after years together

[BitOfFun]

Hi all- my SIL is new to mumsnet after I told her how brilliant you lot were at advice, so can you lend a hand? I have copied and pasted her post lost in someone else's thread in Legal to start her off, as she's finding it a bit tricky to navigate. Don't let me down girls!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Elegance Wed 21-Jul-10 11:11:54
Hi all, I hope someone can help me!
My husband and i have seperated as i disscoverd his affair! hearing him on his phone with this woman made it very clear. he is now staying with his father and is telling me to sell the house i live in with our two sons who are 18 and 22 both just left full time education. my husband now works freelance so i cant prove he is working and he is telling me he has no work. we have been married for 29yrs and i havnt worked for years as iv helped him with his own companys. we have alot of debt so would break even if sold all assets. but he is due to inherit almost a million from his father who is 82 and not in the best of health. (may sound awfull but my husband has lost us alot of money in the past eg, a hundred thousand pounds on a film that never made us a return). sorry to be soooo long winded but hope someone can help me.

No advice I'm sorry to say, I just wanted to second that you sound well shot of him and you come across as very intelligent and level headed.

I wish you luck in your new life.

Elegance - glad you are now "lawyered up". Try and see if there's any financial info still in the house, bank statements etc you can get your hands on and get photocopied.

Blimey, it is a lot to take in.

I hope he gets all he deserves and that you get a better life that you deserve.

Arrhh Thanks everyone,
i think all the nice people in the world are on this site

Im trying to not look too far back or too far forward at mo, whatever is coming cant be worse than whats just been.

Just keep on keeping on- you sound like a very brave and resourceful woman, and it wouldn't surprise me if your life turns out far happier than his. What kind of idiot wrecks everything like this just for a fling? He sounds like an arse with a massive ego.

aww we like you.

so, dress designer you say .....

if your half as talented as your brother you'd give Vivienne a run for her money.
im happy to be your muse/model. you might need slightly more fabric than usual but im cheap

or at least thats what it says on teh mens toilets

Arrhh you are a star,

having a low day today, but your message really perked me up. X

Nice! Your obviously a man. Firstly as for the will, i just need to know where i stand as my husband has ruined us, as well as having an affair again! and i gave up my career to bring up our children. i also have worked with and for him throughout his career.. he made alot of very bad investments without my consent. now to top that has a very expensive and ugly habit!!

I am about to lose everything so forgive me for trying to do my best.

And yes it is my (ex)husbands fault i didnt branch out as he made it impossible. and much more than you will ever know.

Im dealing with a man who has even asked his children to buy IT for him!!! Class doesnt come close.

Just a bad day made much worse.

There are always a few twats on the internet whan the schools kick out- and a lot of them come here I'm afraid. It will be be obvious to anyone who reads it what an obnoxious and inappropriate comment that is, please don't worry about it. It will get deleted, I'm sure.

Sounds like you are doing everything you can, just wanted to say how lovely it is to hear you have support from your dc. Bet that makes all the difference.

Just hope that shitface wakes up and realises what he has lost - what an idiot.

Elegance, I am sorry you had to read that drivel

Hope things get better for yoou.

Just having a melt down day today. Must stop it as look like a bog monster.

Thanks all.

oh it is perfectly acceptable to have a melt down.

Just because you know he is a total arse and that you are better off without him doesn't stop it hurting.
you were married for a fecking long time. you will feel like grieving that relationship even if you don't want to.

And as for the muppet earlier. Sadly Mumsnet is such a massive source of support and intellectual debate we do attract a few of those rare creatures that are capable of proving the evolutionary theory simply by posting and showing what man would have been like a few steps back.

you simply have to keep in the back of your mind that however spitefull these cretins are, they only do it out of 45 years of frustration at only ever having sex with their own palm.

keep your chin up doll, and get cracking on a dress for a 6'1 fat bird

Ha ha will you stop making me laugh while im trying to enjoy this melt down. You sound just fab and your on for that dress as soon as im re housed Ha.