OH and I have begun talking. And though we've 'talked' before, I feel that he's actually listening and talking properly. I feel that while I'm keeping myself strong for whatever eventuality, I can also give this marriage one last shot. A proper good shot.
So thanks for all the advice given, it's lovely to know that so many people care about others they've never met. I sometimes get a bit wound up with the judgy-pants folk on here, but for the most part people seem to want to make other people feel better.
I hope that my posts from now on are more positive...