Archers: please will a MNer summarise for me?

[OliviaMumsnet]

Hello MNers,

I can tell just from the thread titles that there are lots of irritating storylines atm but due to Justine's general whipcracking am seriously behind with Ambridge gossip.

Last I really remember listening was Lilian going to visit Matt inside and him not being v impressed. Am going to listen to the iplayer omnibus from last week later tonight so please can someone update me???

What's the story with Annette and Helen?
Who is Joel?
When is Phil going?

Olivia

are you not busy deleting things? someone will see! Quick, hide the screen with a sudden wild gesture.

or a pashmina..

Annette slept with leon (the aussie barman who was desperate enough to sleep with Helen)- then found out was pregnant and had an abortion despite Helen trying to prsuade her they could raise the child.

Joel (i think ) is pips new older boyfriend who she met at college- seriously arty, drives a BMW, has incensed daveed by being older . It has just occurrd to me that this may be a pisspoor ambridge version of Lynn barbers an education. The most intriguing thing about it is outburst of common sense from ruth Who hasn't hassled pip about it.

Also a good deal of time has been given over to eddie having no cash, his van breaking and clarrie (displaying the kind of wit tact and logic that makes mw wonder how she ended up married to eddie) got willyem to loan some cash for a new one.

Erm that's about it - jazzer well and truly aware nothing going to happen with fallon. Susan still demonstrating her talents as britains most annoying employee by moaning re shop job and thinking bout taking legal action s it's likely new job in community shop wi be two mornings. Week.

Oh and annette buggered off to her gran to general relief so is leaving helen to have Bridget jones styles evenings alone or perhaps with silent kirsty. no mention so far of leon being father

Jude (?) is Pip's new boyf., don't know about a Joel.
BBC hosts great chatboards for saddos like me fans who usually have hilarious & astute insights into Archers plot-lines.

And a Wei or so back matts hf brother came looking for him to sY their mother had died and meet him. Met Lillian who explained about matt being banged up and offered to tell him- matt no interest in seeing brother as is too busy going through jonathan aitken or Jeffery archer style prison experience(am looking forward to tiger hosting shepherds pie and champagne party when he gets out)

Annette is Greg (Helen's ex fella who shot himself in a fit of Mellors type gloom)'s daughter who turned up to freeload about 6 months ago. She then shagged Helen's ghastly new man (who wasn anything but new - a completely unreconstructed MCP in fact) and got pregnant. She's just had a abortion, supported in the most saccharine way by Helen, who is treating her as as as sort of surrogate baby. Annett no longer needs her so is buggering off to stay with ehr Gran, who doesn't know what's going to hit her.

I do not know this Joel of whon you speak but there is a Jude, a foreign film loving uber-ponce who is persuing Pip with an enthusiasm worthy of a better cause, to the outrage of David, who is releasing his inner Mr Barrett.

The actor who plays Phil died before Christmas and Phil was last heard stirring a Christmas pudding. we are awaiting his demise. It is too much to hope that he will go in a towering inferno, taking Linda, Annette, Helen, Will and Shula with him.

nonews re. Ph.

Bidi That site good but scary in level of knowledge. And it is Jude- he is producing some all time classic annoying comments in pip about his opinions

Phil is still alive and well in Ambridge I think or have I missed something? assume they are boiling up a massive plotline for us all to weep along to

I knew I could rely on you lot - yes I know there's an official Beeb bit but I much prefer the MN slant
1980s hour about to end on the radio for rock party so seems a good time to catch up on omnibus while I have a glass of red do lots of work.

Will doubtless post some more followups

Poppy - I didn't think Matt's mother had died; thought she was terminally ill and that's why she confessed Matt's existence to the half-brother (Paul)?

So what do we think of the bombshell news that Pip's fella is 28 (12 years older)?

Can see it would be nightmarish for a parent but still, David is being v stupid about this. For possibly the first time ever, am finding myself agreeing w Ruth's approach.

I think Phil passes on Frida (12 Feb) - good Valentine's story

Did you hear Tony organise a new salads supplier for Helen - said "the son"(!!!!!) was now running the veg pat of the business. Who's opening a book on this being Helen's next love interest. Might be a slow burner.

Missed that. I bet you're right, though -- a salad-supplying man (esp one who works in a family business) sounds boringly designed for her. Honestly, though. Could Helen not just go to a convent and save us all the bother?

Ooo, an Archers thread. I look forward to my sunday evenings when I can settle down on the sofa with iPlayer and listen to the omnibus

Yes PrincessF, Matt's mother is still alive but on the way out, and Lillian has a bit of a crush on Matt's half-brother, I reckon. I'm sure Paul will be back and he and Lillian will have a fling!

I have a feeling that Phil's demise is going somehow to be tied up with Jenny's suggestion last night that she get Auntie Chris and Jill to take Peggy on a few outings.

They're going to get home from a lovely day at a stately home or something to find Phil dead in his armchair, aren't they?

And of course Peggy will use it as a stick to beat herself up with, along the lines that she should have been with Jack, then Jill would have been there for Phil, etc etc.

I think that it would be nice if phil was the first person to be buried in the new green burial site.

Ooh yes - what a good idea.

Ooh! tomorrow night Phil pops his clogs, I reckon!

Can't come soon enough. I haven't enjoyed waiting for it and will be glad when it's all over.

Nice idea about the green site. Is it actually ready for use yet? Have lost track of that storyline a bit.

Oh I can't bear it. All this reminiscing. Heartbreaking.