Archers thread #203: It's Affair Cop! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you would love to attend Pip's wedding with Natasha and the starry twins, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-12-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Starting the new thread a bit early as I'm not sure I'll have much internet access for the next few days. Fill up the old one first. And then - over to you!

(Credit for the thread title goes to @TripleSulko.)

I believe it’s this weekend as Pip keeps referring to the weekend weather forecast and how rainy it’s going to be.

If it's this weekend they've left it far to late to do a coordinated first dance (with putative lifts!) if they only started practicing last week.
I think they'd much better off with a slow shuffle round the floor, then parents etc joining in as usual in most weddings (ones I've been to, anyway).
Or they could do something a bit like the first dance in "Four Weddings etc" to "Crocodile Rock". Friends of ours got up at their wedding and then, slightly alarmingly, started jiggling enthusiastically to "Hot Love" by Donna Summer.

And I'd really like someone to tell Anna and her guilt-induced anger to f@"! off.
Preferably Usha who's being an absolute wet lettuce.

Seat Anna and Azra next to one another at the wedding dinner, I say. With Helen. Who actually seems sane by comparison when she's with Anna.

Predictions 🔮

• Josh turns up after all
• Jill passes away, having seen the next generation of Brookfield annointed, and is discovered by Ruth.
• Jolene confronts Lily and Harrison and there is a scene

There is nothing like a bit of alcohol sloshing around a wedding reception to encourage an Eastenders-style fight. I think they said it was going to be on Sunday, which seemed a bit odd (even for Ambridge). Presumably the twins will have flu so their dresses can be resold BNWT.

I want Josh to return with a pregnant girlfriend.

I think the only reason they might not happen will be down to there only being about 8 voices in an episode. (feel free to correct if you know the exact amount)

So Pip, Stella, celebrant (Alan?), Ruth, David, Josh, and 2 others?

There will be plenty of opportunities for the cast to talk about what they’ve seen and heard.

That village shop bell will be ringing non stop.

Was it just me hoping that the Dirty Dancing-style lift being practiced would result in a serious back injury (preferably to Pip) and indefinite postponement of the whole wedding?

@Hendiadys , I want Stella to realise it's Anna she's in love with and jilt Pip at the altar. Pip can go to Argentina or somewhere for a few decades to get over it.

She did - she got quite annoyed about it - but then she was always in far too much of a hurry to be kind to her mum anyway. She woudl never have been as patient as Alan was, and that's why Carol asked him to do it. Not that Carol was very easy to handle either, but then like mother like daughter.

Poor Alan is going to learn that no good deed goes unpunished.

I'm not surprised that Carol hadn't a massive amount of money in her account (but TBH I can't remember if she was wealthy back in the day when she was economically active, so maybe she would be expected to have more savings) - but even if she didn't, I am surprised at Anna, a busy barrister rushing off to court regularly, describing £6000 as a huge sum. Wouldn't that be peanuts for her?

I think Carole has probably never given Anna the attention she needed, hence high flying career in law, which has been very successful but at the moment looks like a plea for approval. Of course Carole has countered that by implying that Anna is too busy and selfish to bother with her, and makes sure that it always looks like Anna is neglectful and not to be relied on.

Anna is a criminal barrister, though. Some of them don't earn as much as you might imagine.

I'm sure Anna said at one point that she'd stopped practising as a barrister and was now teaching law.

By what we heard, she was a fairly dire barrister anyway; it was through no deed or clever argument of hers that Helen got off the murder charge, it was Jess unexpectedly deciding at the last moment to give evidence (which in real life she would have been unable to do at that point in the proceedings) that swung things. Anna had failed to persuade her to do that, which was why Jess was not listed as a witness. All we know about Anna's career before that was that she had absolutely failed a client who subsequently died (I can't remember whether suicide or by the hand of a violent spouse) and was guilty and wretched about it, and obsessive about getting Helen off in order to atone for her previous failure.

She certainly can't have been in great demand if she could spend days at a time visiting Helen in the mother-and-baby unit and listening to Helen witter about butterflies or anything whatever apart from the case Anna was trying to build a defence for.

I thought that Anna lectured and still practised as a barrister.

You may well be right. I remember that she was teaching others, because when she said it I muttered "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" in a peevish way. Maybe some suckers still offer her work as a barrister too.

Wasn't she rushing off to a very important case when her mum fell? Or maybe even after she'd died? Ruth or someone expressed surprise that she hadn't cancelled when her mum was so unwell (or dead?) but she said that wasn't an option for this client who had been waiting for so long.

(I do agree that she doesn't seem terribly effective, but I put that down to lazy scriptwriters needing her to be available as and when, rather than her being actually rubbish. That's not a thing that happens in Ambridge, IMO - same as the Archer women are all fabulous looking, or at least "scrub up well"!)

I haven't been listening since May or thenabouts so I don't know what Anna is up to these days; I was just going on what I thought she said last time I paid any attention to her.

It's very liberating not caring a damn what is going on in Ambridge!

Wasn't she rushing off to a very important case when her mum fell? Or maybe even after she'd died? Ruth or someone expressed surprise that she hadn't cancelled when her mum was so unwell (or dead?) but she said that wasn't an option for this client who had been waiting for so long

Carole had died by then. Anna had overslept and should have been in Bristol hours before. She hurtled off while barely awake, not even having washed (ewww), and if I heard correctly, seemed to have slept in her clothes. I'm not sure I'd have been that pleased had I been her client.

Presumably the £6,000 came from Carol's current account whence her day to day payments come and into which pensions and other income go.
Surely she has other savings etc

She sold a house in Bristol when she moved to Ambridge.

How long has he been gone? Can he return with a wife and triplets?

He left (silently) for Patagonia on 23rd March this year, according to the BBC synopses. At the moment the triplets would have to be premature,,,,

Inexplicable, or should I say unexplained, shenanigans between Elizabeth and the Slaughterman.

Whenever Elizabeth pops up I always hear the horrible, villainous Mrs Coulter from "His Dark Materials". She did redeem herself by jumping into the Endless Abyss with her lover though, so there's hope yet.