Archers thread #186: Eavesdropping on a home for the terminally confused. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd swipe right on Dane, the new Grey Gables manager, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radioaddicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radioaddicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @WitcheryDivine for the title inspiration. Over to you!

True, and I realised after posting that however much one grieves for ones parents, it doesn't compare with the appalling bereavement of a poster on another thread whose adult son was killed in a rta, or even with the loss suffered recently by someone I know whose spouse of nearly 60 years suddenly died.

But it can be very upsetting, and I believe in Lilian's distress.

Grief isn’t a competition and I don’t think anyone has the right to judge how someone grieves based on their age/relationship/cause of death etc. it’s a tragedy for every griever

It's a tragedy for a griever, but I think we need to acknowledge that it really isn't for a non-griever.

Sure - but empathy can be shown to the griever

Sympathy rather than empathy, I think.

It’s only been about a fortnight. Lilian would still be thinking ‘I must do X, Y or Z for Mum today… oh’.

Yes, definitely Lynda.

You probably are very cold, but I agree. Adam and the orher grandchildren's reactions leave me cold too.

Lillian is mourning the gap in her life as well as her mother. I don't find it at all unrealistic.

Death within the "natural order" can still trigger a deep grief which takes time to shift.

A family member cared for years for an elderly relative who died in their 90s. My family member was bereft.

I find Lilian's grief completely realistic. It doesn't matter how old your parent was, or whether they had lived a long life, or how old you are when they die, it's still absolutely dreadful. Also Lilian will now feel like she's an orphan. No wonder she's feeling so awful. My lovely dad died several years ago in his eighties when I was late fifties,we knew it was coming as he had a terminal diagnosis, but I was completely floored by his death, I felt like my whole world had turned upside down, it was a really terrible time. I couldn't stop crying every day for months and it took me a long long time to feel anywhere near normal( a new normal).

Yes, still a daughter losing a mother whatever the age.

I believe in her upset and it rings true. Dane on the other hand, does not ring true. I simply don’t believe that anyone that irritating could have been promoted to a management position / not been savagely killed by a colleague.

I think it’s also that Lilian is re-mourning Jennifer, a much more unexpected death and the closest person she’d have shared mourning Peggy with. Tony seems a bit more phlegmatic about it and we know he wasn’t Peggy’s favourite, and spent less time with her due to working on the farm.

What a splendid thread title, thank you Gasp!

I've been enjoying TA lately, but was a bit bewildered by all the Ed and Emma bickering. What's that all about?

Am I incredibly cold to be finding Lillian (77 years) being so upset by the death of her 100 year old mother odd?

It's irritating me but I lost my mum when I was a teenager so am envious of women who had their mothers for even part of their adult life, let alone nearly 80 years.

I beg to differ.

I'm really hoping that Helen falls head over heels in love with Dane!

Ed and Em seem to be having a 10 year itch.

Can I join?

Dane is going to be either hero or zero. Please, for Helen’s sake, let him be hero.

Tony have obviously been communicating with the solicitor in order to know about the holiday, Hilda's care and Christine's care fees (which the SW have forgotten her son is paying) so they will know if there's any residuary estate left and who the beneficiary is. It's unbelievable that the solicitor wouldn't have told them what's in their own mother's Will.

Unless they are the the executors they have no right whatsoever to be told what's in Peggy's will.

Oh yes that's the worse of losing someone. Or if you hear someone that sounds like the one you've lost or looks like them. It just jolts you back to the sadness. I can understand Lillian at 77 or any age. She has had her mum for a long time and she will find a big gap and maybe some relief, but it will take time. Also she not long ago lost her sister and that took its toll on her.

Oh and sould'nt Em and Ed have walkie-talkies for when they need to communicate up a tree.

I’m not sure. I recently had a giant tree pollarded by tree surgeons and there were no walkie talkies but, instead, a lot of shouting. In Ed’s defence there was also a lot of instructions being shouted up to the guy with the chainsaw. I guess it’s a different perspective when one is on ground level and can see which way the tree is shaping. There’s something else going on. When was the last time Emma saw/heard from George?

Ed is so useless. They're always skint but he wanted to turn the GG job down because it was their anniversary. Then he was moaning because they were still working at 5.30pm.

The pair of them are ungracious. Emma had a massive sulk when Chris gave his GG freebie to his friends and she sulks again when Oliver makes them a generous gift of dinner and a room (suite?). Refusing to eat the dinner and going to bed in a huff. Mind you, I'd be sulking if I'd been married to Ed for 10 years and was living in a caravan.

No, me too. But I lost a parent age 10, which was so awful that when the other parent died when I was 50 (and they were 90), it felt rather meh.

You can get felling helmets that have built in radio comms. The aren't cheap,but better than faffing about 20' up a tree shouting at each other