Archers thread #186: Eavesdropping on a home for the terminally confused. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd swipe right on Dane, the new Grey Gables manager, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radioaddicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radioaddicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @WitcheryDivine for the title inspiration. Over to you!

Dingles was a brilliant place to go when you hadn't enough money to feed the meter for heating. I got to know their security staff so well that they would sidle up to me and warn me if a manager was approaching whichever department I was loitering in, so that I could go elsewhere and they wouldn't look bad for having a scruff in there.

Makes me glad I passed through my undergrad years without ever having to feed a meter. (College rooms for two years, then digs with heating included in the rent.)

On the other hand I’ve spent lots of time on another continent where, with only ceiling fans in the house, a trip to the fanciest local department store with icy air conditioning was a blessed relief!

Ambridge gets renamed to Joyville, as will 'The Archers'. The old part will still be Ambridge but the new town will be Joyville.
The farmland gets gobbled up by new executive homes and affordable housing densely packed on to soulless estates.

The Joyville programme will cover eco/agri PSA and EastEnders/Bookside-style storylines.

The only Archers in it will be Giddy-Jack, Fat Rosie, and Sarin and Novichok.

My mother and I used to go for afternoon tea in Jolly's in the 60s and 70s after shopping in Bath and it always felt special to me as a child.

A friend of mine (who is in her 80s now) remembers being dragged into the lingerie department there by her mother who announced in a loud voice to the assistant, "Lucy needs a bust bodice". She was 12 at the time and still recalls it as one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

Well they’re already minus one listener, @Spambridge!

i think the same, the strange vicar has it all....

I don't know anything about Morleys either @Madcats . I hope they are good because Jolly's has left a huge gap in Milsom Street (which I see the council now refer to as 'The Milsom Quarter'). Jane Austen would be turning in her grave - or perhaps not as she hated Bath.

You're making think of It's a Wonderful Life! I love that film. Maybe we're waiting for the moment when we all pray hard enough for the old TA back.

The only Morley's I know of in London is the omnipresent fried chicken shop chain. They have branches all over the place and many, many competitors who use similar names and signage so it feels as if Morley's is on every high street.

When I think of Underwood's I mostly imagine it as something like Schofield's in Leeds (and Harrogate) which we went to a lot in the 1970s.

There were so many 'high-class' department stores, now but a memory. Brown's in Chester, 'the Harrods of the North' (still there I think but very much in name only), George Henry Lee in Liverpool, Marshall and Snelgrove in London (which was taken over by Debenhams). Loads more in different cities of course.

According to Wiki, Morleys is 'a group of 8 department stores in Greater London', but only 3 are actually called Morleys (in Brixton, Tooting and Bexleyheath).

There was also Jenner's in Edinburgh. My Grandma and her sisters absolutely loved Jenner's.

I think I commented on James Bellamy being in Upstairs Downstairs before Justin Idiot featured on The Archers. Might not have been on here.

Brown's of Chester became Debenhams
George Henry Lees became a John Lewis
'My' Underwoods is something in between Fortnum's and Daniel's.

Relevant for The Archers - Rackham's in Birmingham.

Derry & Tom's in Kensington was another one. I don't remember going there when it was still a department store but I used to go there when it became Biba. And I went to an amazingly lavish wedding in the roof gardens - not sure what I was doing there as all the other guests were ambassadors or oil tycoons which made social chit chat a bit like hard work. Sadly the gardens are now closed and the flamingos have been relocated to a wildlife park. I assume the gardens are still there though as I believe they were listed.

I wonder how much success Helen would have at OLD in real life? At what point would she reveal that she spent time in prison for stabbing her previous husband? Or is it just me who would consider that a bit of a red flag and end the relationship at that point?

I did enjoy her trying to explain her family situation last night - not a quick sort of back story is it.

I think given that Helen seems to be well spoken, is apparently pretty and of course very thin and fairly well off - and I guess of an age to attract anywhere from 30 to about 60 - she’d have quite wide appeal. Only to strangers obviously.

all the lovely department stores that have all gone. Dingle's in Bristol, Coles and Scofield's in Sheffield (I think Scofields may have turned into Rackhams?) and was it Brown's in Windsor? with the lovely wooden flooring and a brilliant haberdashery department? I am feeling quite nostalgic.

the Helen thing was so annoying. Can't wait for her to tell Ian what Dean thinks of him.

Yes, quite a challenging first conversation.

^Yes, I do have two boys. Quite a bit of back story there, actually! I had a partner called Greg who became very depressed, sadly, because he'd been through a difficult divorce, and in the end he shot himself. Yes, I know, terrible, but I managed to stay on good terms with his daughter Annette. In fact she stayed with me for a while but then I found out she was pregnant and I did my level best to get her to stay with me, I said I would help with the baby, but she just walked out and I have to assume she had a termination. She would never tell me who the father was. Yes, also very sad, but it showed me that what I really wanted more than anything in the world was to have a child, so I contacted a fertility clinic and fortunately they had an appointment available right away so I went ahead! And then when Henry was still very young, I met this apparently very charming man called Rob. I knew he was married but he told me it was all over and I believed him. Anyway, he and his wife did split up properly in the end and he moved in with me and then it all got ... messy. I think I'd rather not talk about that bit until we've known each other a bit longer.' [Dane belated makes mental note to Google Helen's name.] 'Anyway, the one good thing that came out of it was my son Jack. Rob wanted to call him Gideon, can you believe it! But fortunately we weren't allowed anywhere near each other because of the court case so I could register him with my chosen name. And now Rob's dead and good riddance, frankly! Shall we have dessert?'

👏

I don't think Bradbeers is quite posh enough and it also doesn't have a food hall.
But agree it is a similar vibe.

Did she go to trial as Helen Archer or Titchener? Might be harder to look her up with the name change. Though there was that casual mention of the stabbing by that journalist for an article about the farm.

Brilliant Gasp though you missed out Poor Lee.

"So marriage to Jack's dad (did I mention our son was conceived by rape?) left me frigid but I met this lovely guy who I learned to trust and the boys adored. But his smelly trainers on the radiator gave me the ick so I binned him. My brother and I have form for treating decent people like crap ... he jilted my best mate at the altar. You'll probably meet them both at the birthday party I've bizarrely invited you to. What do you mean, you think you might be working that night?!"

Rackhams used to be so up-market. It was surrounded by other "posh" shops like a proper hat shop. It had a waitress service cafe long after other department stores had gone self-service. I once saw Noel Gordon (Crossroads) in there, wearing a very luxurious fur coat, speaking very loudly, calling everyone darling, and ordering her minions around.

It's a House of Fraser full of tat clearance shop now, surrounded by a McDonalds, Greg's and a fried chicken shop. How the mighty has fallen - a bit like TA really.

And Heelas in Reading became part of John Lewis a long time ago.

I love Booths but since moving to Devon I have been deprived, except for visiting one from friends in Crosby. The display of washing powder was worthy of a photo and their cheese counter is superb.