Archers thread #179: Beavers, livestock, ferrets, but nododo! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd be happy sharing a hot tub with Mucky Mick, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

The title started life with @JanglyBeads, whose autocorrect turned 'Oh no, nor do I!' into 'Oh no, nododo I!' on the last thread. For reasons of cowardice/prudence/lack of inspiration and the character limit, I haven't included @BeaLola's even more mysterious autocorrect - her phone had her asking Abdul if he'd always wanted children instead of Neil. Perhaps one of the mooted beavers can be Abdul.

For the first time ever I've added a poll to the OP. Over to you!

Tracey cheffing at the Bull is complete and utter bull.

I'm married to a chef. We roar our socks off when people think it's so easy, then totally fail to understand ordering, timing, planning and how to say "nope, that won't work" to the owners.

And the SW can do one. They are utterly rubbish these days, i don't care how long they've been doing the writing. I too believe it's the "bus route" way of getting rid of the programme. Grrr.

Yes Fallon will be a great success and Wayne will get a permanent gig on the cruise ship and voila, problem solved

I thought that was bad acting not bad lying. Khalil is already established as a good liar.

Why would he want to clipe to David about Kirsty and Rex's plans? I assumed he was genuinely lazy and thought David could give him ideas for his essay.

He sneaks around a lot.

Most of the SLs nowadays seem to have an unspoken/written ‘…..’With Hilarious Consequences!’ hovering at the end of them, in the manner of bad 70’s sitcoms.

Jolene temporarily forgets she has a daughter who’s in catering and asks Tracy to take over as chef at the Bull ‘…..’With Hilarious Consequences!’

David and Ruth, having moaned and huffed relentlessly about having Leonard to stay with them while he recovers from a broken collar-bone, wonder whether they should ask him to move in permanently ‘…..’With Hilarious Consequences!’

Khalil, after overhearing Kirsty and Rex discussing their idea to beaver-bomb the Am, accidentally reveals their plans to David ‘…..’With Hilarious Consequences!’

It’s just SO embarrassingly bad.

I am slightly intrigued by this new ‘sent off to sea’ tactic …

First Johnny (and that Mediterranean DJ tour was presented as being about Freddie when in fact it was ultimately a ruse to offload the former to make space for George at Bridge Farm.)

Now Wayne - who clearly will never be seen again. And as if a pub and restaurant business would hand over such a job to a random unqualified person.

It's just lazy and arrogant, isn't it, if the SWs assume they knowit all and don't do any research. And it shows contempt for other people's skills.

They already had to do this storyline when the actor playing Julia Pargetter passed away after marrying Lewis.

They dealt with it by saying "you always have a home here" and then ignoring his existence for about 20 years, when he re-emerged as a silent character running the gallery.

I'm not sure that Wayne was that well qualified; when he started at the Bull the talk was all about him being a Baker, rather than a Chef.

@Choccyp1g - indeed, though as you say that was rather forced on them by circumstance. This time they seem to be re-using that plot deliberately. But Brookfield isn’t large enough to misplace an adult character within its walls for years, so I assume they have a plan for Leonard’s surely inevitably outliving Jill.

True about Wayne - The Bull did seem to rather miraculously evolve into this sought after dining venue after he arrived.

Fallon's a baker rather than a chef too, isn't she? Obviously it makes no difference if you're on the radio!

Surely the kitchen needs more than one chef/cook. Who helps Wayne at the moment?

Yes, why on earth can’t Tracy and Fallon share the workload? If Tracy is a good cook (I have my doubts), we know Fallon is a good baker and used to working in the tea room kitchen, they could work well together. Quite a lot of the Bull’s dishes are ‘baking’ cooking such as pies, special breads, etc as well as the pub standard meals like fish and chips, roast lunch. So it could work with both of them there. That way Tracy could also cover some of her own shifts, and maybe Fallon could cover some bar shifts as well.

Of course, as already signposted, this being TA, they won’t say ‘Tracy, why not concentrate on a short menu we can do really well and maintain our high standards’ but will let her loose with Hawaiian insanity and other special menus. It’s hard enough serving new dishes to guests at home, but they are going to do it in the pub with an untried ‘chef’. They are all idiots!

I think Khalil’s bored out of his mind and just wanted to hang around with David because he’s interested in farms and animals. I did enjoy the beaver conversation all the same.

Incidentally, if anyone on this thread is a beaver fan, you should follow beaverloverlife on Instagram for cute beavers and sometimes very funny beaver memes.

I also question Fallons catering skills . She ran bars and did furniture upcycling before expanding to the tea room. But thats not the same as being the one that can produce the food to a professional standard.

Has Tracey ever displayed any sign of culinary prowess? I would have thought that she need some sort of Food Hygiene certificate before she could start cooking oven chips? I am sure she has always been a smart budgeter, but I doubt that steak and freshly baked sourdough featured in the Horrobin household. FWIW one of my local pubs masquerades as a tea room for a lot of the day, after what had been a tearoom/deli next door didn't have its lease renewed. It sort of works if you can cope with the floral PVC table cloths and fairy lights.

I do wish the writers would stop reinventing CVs and personalities. I'm prepared to forgive them for adding/removing bedrooms at will, but I am finding it disrespectful to their long-suffering listener base. On the subject of bedrooms, are the Dopeys out of their minds offering to house Leonard (who must be a good 10-15 years younger than Jill)!! Perhaps the plan is to "dead" Jill whilst Leonard and driver is at his friend's funeral.

Or what about Ian? I know it would be a huge wrench for them though to leave the pizza van which must make unheard of profits given the fact that it supports Ian, Adam ( who doesn’t have a reliable income) and Xander

Oof, I have finally caught up. Fell by the wayside before Christmas, made it to the end of the last thread then realised there was a whole new one too!

I can't think what Kirsty is thinking of with the illegal/guerrilla beaver release - like no-one will realise she is behind it? But, like all people like her (I suspect the SWs had the likes of Just Stop Oil/Extinction Rebellion in mind), they think they know best and everyone else just needs to be forcibly enlightened Still, I look forward to Justin's inevitable explosion.

I'm a bit baffled by the Rochelle situation. Part of me is enjoying the drawn-out nature of the story but I can't work out for the life of me what her backstory could be. Sarcasm about her childhood, Rex being warned off dating her, reference to a group...perhaps she joined a hippy commune? Or a cult?

Khalil actually went to visit Jill

I reckon Fallon could manage, if they worked with a reduced menu. Most food in pubs and restaurants these days is convenience food, pre-prepared and (if you're lucky) pimped up.

Steak, pie, stew... and veganuary. Easy peasy for someone used to catering.

I'm a long time lurker on these threads although haven't posted before, I'm wondering if the whole Kirsty illegal beaver storyline is to get her to understand Gavin who was 'taken in' by his fathers view that they were helping the modern day slaves by giving them food and board. She believes the beavers are the right thing so is going to ignore that it's illegal and go ahead as she can see the positive benefits. Just an idea as there has to be a reason that they brought Gavin back in before Christmas although I don't really want them becoming an item

When a student I worked in the kitchen of a country pub. When they were startled and delighted to find I could cook, the owners used to leave me alone on the quiet Monday nights, with another student behind the bar, and have a gleeful evening off. The first thing I would do after they set off was to wipe steak off the black board - too stressful to deal with the "how would you like it cooked" issues!

It all got a bit out of hand once the young officers on the nearby army camp found out we were alone in charge and Mondays got a lot busier

Let’s face it, they wouldn’t bother with the google….. they don’t seem to mind coming across as totally misinformed.

On the basis that the Franco Manca chain are doing "any pizza for a fiver" for the next few months, I imagine the pizza trade is a bit slack this month.

Ian could easily manage the prep and the lunchtime shift before school pick-up.

If they focussed on stews, curries, ploughman's and fish & chips it shouldn't be too onerous to prep.

Rural pubs near me often get street food vans set up in the car park for eat in the pub or take out to add a bit of variety and to give kitchen staff a night off.

Oh poor Brad. I wasn't a fan but he's been so nice and generous re George. Lily was bearable tonight.

Well done Tracy.

Well done Tracy indeed! She also has a generous heart. And good that someone has told the SWs (I am guessing they are not mathematicians?) that university maths pretty much starts off with "forget all the stuff you did for A-level".