Archers thread #167: Welcome to Ambridge, the world capital of loose ends! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like The Archers to be wall to wall election conversations for the next month, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Over to you!

I really, really want Fallon, once she has calmed down and ‘Arrison thinks it’s ok again and he has tacit permission to wallow, to tell him very matter-of-factly that she is divorcing him: a non-existent baby clearly means more to him than she does, and that he would sooner have no children and be with her rather than be without her was just another thing he said. And for her to remain implacable.

Burns is then at liberty to top himself if he so desires. In fact, I’d hold his beer.

@RegimentalSturgeon 😆
I tend to enjoy your hyperbole BUT should say that I don’t want Harrison to top himself. However I do agree I want Fallon to just tell him to do one. What an absolute prat he is.

The thing is, the SWs have created an impossible situation. How are they going to roll back on this nonsense?

I wish someone would have a chat with Harrison about basic reproductive biology. He needs to realise that just because he assumes the accident caused the miscarriage doesn't make it so, that the most likely reasons are either the coil or the fact that the pregnancy was never viable. Also that actually the chances are that the pregnancy terminated spontaneously and, in the ordinary course of events, neither he nor Fallon would have thought anything was happening other than a bad period.

To be honest I dont think Harrisons faith is helping him in fact it is helping to make him wallow in his sadness, he really needs counciling not the church.
Is Fallon going to have a drunken one night stand while out with Kirsty, not that I think Kirsty would say anything but she would advise Fallon to confess all to Harrison, as they do in drama programnes.
Pip and Stella hmmm. Well Stella did know Pip had fat Rosie but Pip is pushing Rosie on Stella a bit too much.its not as if they live together and Pip has got loads of people she could leave Rosie with if they wanted alone time. I would think Rosie would be glad to get away from all the lovey dovey ness.

I feel really sorry for Harrison.

IMO it wouldn't do any good, and not just because he isn't willing to listen to anyone who's not affirming what he already believes. The additional reason it wouldn't work is because he no longer appears fixated on the accident (possibly causing a further rift from Fallon, who hasn't properly had the chance to explore how she feels about the trauma of that experience), he's just concerned with the loss of his baby. So, for him, it doesn't matter how/ why the pregnancy ended, just that it did. It wouldn't comfort him to know that it wasn't due to the accident. With Alice out of the picture, his focus has shifted.

Harrison actor is also v good.

Wish they wouldn't portray Alan as totally clueless about confidentiality and pretty insensitive as well. And his first thought when he saw Harrison should have been the likely state of his and Fallon's marriage, at that point.

I feel slightly sorry for Harrison because he is having what we used to call a mental breakdown. I felt sorry for Alice when she started drinking again, I felt sorry for Ben (maybe Joy needs to show up and send Harrison off somewhere for appropriate metal health supports).

I feel very very sorry for Fallon having to process her own post-trauma experience (she came so close to drowning) with no support from her partner who is instead centering himself and being abetted by clueless Alan (in my experience Clergy get a lot of experience being limpeted on by the insane, and learn strategies for distancing themselves very early). Also no support from her mother ffs. And the deeply unprofessional way the hospital doctor handled the 'pregnancy'.

So if my sympathy for what is happening after the bridge incident is a finite quantity, Fallon gets 70%, Joy gets 15%, Alice gets 6%, George gets 2%, Harrison gets 2%, Alistair gets 1%, and the remaining sympathy goes to the village at large having to deal with TRAFFIC CHAOS!

I think his acting is awful - he seems to be channelling eeyore so whenever he’s on all I can imagine is a chubby donkey

he also goes on and on about wanting to talk to Fallon but then always strops off.

And none for Denise?

’Twas ever thus …

Denise seemed to be getting a bit of a thrill that night from seeing Alastair wet and heroic

and now she’s on a sunshine break having left Alastair to tidy up the question of why they were together.

I think she’s done quite well out of the accident!

I think Mick should get a percentage or two!

As far as I can make out Denise is free and clear, all she lost out on was a dinner (if they hadn't already eaten?) and the irritation of having to explain to Ali that she wasn't that into him / was too full of dinner / had a headache before enjoying a night's sleep on the second bed, a fancy breakfast with a frustrated and baffled vet and a really awkward atmosphere at work.

Denise got a lucky break and does not need sympathy.

They had already eaten and were on the way to the hotel. She did miss out on a swim the next day but she did get a dip in the Am

swings, roundabouts.

Since she got dinner, she is clearly a net beneficiary.

I don't think Mick's troubles are an outcome of the Ambridge Bridge Terror Night, more of his own nonsensical carry-on.

Having a slightly grim morning and the "Ambridge Bridge Terror Night" appellation made me guffaw and has totally lifted my mood. So thank you

Great to hear some farming chitchat at last reminding us that Ambridge is nestled in rolling countryside - oil seed rape about to burst into glorious yellow flower, herbal leys (presumably a mass of wildflowers) and spring cereals (not entirely sure what these are, but waving fields of something). A bit of weather chat and the prospect of combining to come and suddenly we’re in the countryside and not the EE studio! Not quite sure what to make of the cyber attack - not previously referenced or hinted at - clearly farmer has to rhyme with drama for the SWs! Any farmers on here who can tell us if this is actually a thing?

Since she got dinner, she is clearly a net beneficiary.

Possibly not, in fact, since she also got the raging squirts as a result of her headlight-lit dip.I reckon prick-tease Denise ended up in calorie deficit overall.

Fallon, you've always been a very likeable, level-headed, strong woman. Have a great night out with Kirsty and give yourself the best birthday present by saying goodbye to Harrison (please)

Ambridge Bridge Terror Night

Spring cereals: as it is now summer (allegedly - if I were waking from a coma and judging just by the weather I'd assume winter ) these would be cereals planted in spring, I suppose. Wheat, barley, oats and possibly rye? My agricultural knowledge is vestigial, but I think rye does best in cool, wet latitudes and is not much planted in the UK. Oats similar? (Can't be bothered to google.)

Cyber attack: no idea how accurate this is as a farming issue, but a very live issue indeed in our part of London at the moment, given the recent attack on the NHS. No non-urgent blood tests being carried out pro tem as a consequence, bad knock on effects for blood donations/transfusions, and so on. I hate scammers and hackers.

I'd like to see Fallon and Harrison split up and then Fallon go on to have a child with someone else though I accept this is vanishingly unlikely given Fallon's age. This is exactly what has happened to several people of my acquaintance where the man was adamant he didn't want children, but then immediately went on on to have them with a new partner! I can understand and sympathise with Harrison's realisation that he has been suppressing his desire to become a father out of respect for Fallon's wishes, I find sending off for a certificate and organising a church service completely OTT (sorry I'm probably repeating myself here). They had enough conversations about not wanting to become parents (though admittedly not until after they were married) so I don't see why they wouldn't have had another conversation now. I've never found Harrison a particularly convincing character - I feel he's always been played as a bit of simpleton (apart from the time when he suddenly had enough money saved for them to buy a house) and no amount of Kenton and the Pirate singing his praises will convince me otherwise.

I reckon prick-tease Denise ended up in calorie deficit overall.

what nasty misogynist language

"The Raging Squirts".

Sounds like the name of a hate-filled band whom Gee-awj would follow. 😆

Dratted autocorrect, that should have been ‘squits’- does it still work as a band name?

How would you describe Denise’s behaviour to Alistair, then, @newtlover? I bet it won’t be as concise, nor rhyme as pleasingly.