Archers thread #160: Ram a lamb a ding dong! To rate the mass wisteria in Ambridge, tap the feedback tablet here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @MerryChristmasToYou, @OverArmour and @LillianGish for the thread title ideas.

This week is a bit better than last week, but the Brad/Adil/Lily stuff is very odd. Coming up to the anniversary of Jennifer's death (22nd January last year). We need a new matriarch - could that be Natasha? I find her quite an interesting character. Sometimes she's awful and then she has moments as last night where she utterly redeems herself.

Over to you!

And I couldn't work out why someone would actually heed a request to go and see their doctor if they A firmly (wanted to) believe(d) they were in the best health they'd ever been in and B determined not to listen to what the medic had to say. Surely you'd just say Sorry can't make it or not answer the call or something?

It was a v weird scene.

Also surely he can't have something terminal cos we've only just done with Ron.

Can't work out where this is all leading.

Yes, the rest of the country has to chase test results and beg for an appointment each morning for a month but here you get proactive phone calls from doctors and same day appointments you don’t want

Jim did see Dr Azra, and so did Helen. I suppose it's just about plausible that Helen registered with a different surgery after moving house (within the same village, where neither surgery is based, so not hugely believable even so), or more likely she fell out with the old doctors when they told her something she didn't want to hear.

I still want to know what the result of Jim's consultation was, and I wouldn't mind knowing how Helen is getting on with her ED. Of the two, I'd rather hear from Jim, of course.

Trying to work out why Azra called Harry in re his blood results - presumably something serious ? - but just after Rob dies from a brain tumour - unlikely

I feel I switched off a bit when Harry was introduced ... so he used to be an Eventer (that no one at the Stables knew about) , had a fall ?- that led to hip replacement - Azra calls him in re his recent blood test (why did he have one?) - only othe thing is is he taking too many painkillers and it's shown up in the results ?

Please let Alice & Chris get back together soonest

Something serious if he got an appointment that quickly!

Don't bet on it. I contacted my surgery on the Friday, just for advice - they gave me a choice of appointments to see me face-to-face, and saw me the next Monday, so next working day. I had bloods taken this Monday (a week later), which was already booked in for normal HbA1c - GP just added to it. And after muttering about referrals taking up to a year, I've also got an MRI tomorrow. Not everyone is getting poor service, and I'm willing to bet Ambridge has a medical fairy like they've got a housing fairy.

I think its drugs with Harry, he has a opioid addiction. He gets his stuff from a dealer who he owes lots of money to. It has to be something like that can't have any one be happy for too long in TA.

Haven’t watched Doctors for a long time, but there was a period in the early noughties when it was utterly brilliant, so TA would be lucky to inherit those writers!

And long running, well researched medical storylines properly woven into village life are just what Ambridge has been missing, so l’d be all for it - if only the ‘plentiful GP surgery appointments’ scenario bore even a smidgen of verisimilitude.

(Though I acknowledge your recent experience, @EBearhug - and hope all will be well.)

Opioid addiction might make sense, @Alwaysdieting.

Would be fascinating to see an Aldridge as support human rather than centre of attention …

He can’t act

Opioid addiction would fit in with hip injury too. Still not sure about the pushy weirdness though, with Chris etc.

Old Emma …

As this isn’t S&B I needn’t comment on her dress - but I did wonder if the current Mrs Grundy (Jnr) would like it.

Her sex video coat would look nice over it!

She is beautiful though.

I live in the land of chocolate, although I do like a creme egg, i really do like some nice cheddar. To be fair i can now buy 2 brands of actual cheddar in my supermarket. But Cheese Easter Eggs? YES

As for cranberries, i love Wensleydale - the King of Cheese, and this is My Hill - we only ever get it with flippin' cranberries and. No.

Wallace likes Wensleydale. Bet he wouldnt like cranberrys in it.

Yes I agree @Alwaysdieting - and the SL will be Alice choosing between her sobriety and her fellow addict lover.

Is it just me or does she overreact hugely to any twinge or sniffle? Shrieking about Brian's cough, apoplectic about Harry (able bodied enough to ride) slipping over in mud 🙄 what a drama llama!

Well I’m guessing all the fuss about falling down into mud was to let us know they were rushing back to her house to have sex.

(Whether that might mean Martha having to share her pony in the fullness of time, I really couldn’t say …)

Definitely painkillers.

I think @Alwaysdieting is on the money about the opiate addiction. Would explain his over-confidence. For all we know, his weird stilted diction is as directed, intended to indicate he's constantly off his face. Did he speak like that in Call the Midwife? I can't remember now.

As for the surgery, I have decided that the lease was up on the premises in Hollerton, or alternatively the practice there was based in an old and unsuitable building, and the chance came up to get better premises in Darrington, or to merge with an existing practice there whose lists were full when Tim Hathaway left and closed the Ambridge practice. So now half of Ambridge go to Darrington, and they happen to be all people we hear on air.

(We all know what's really happened is that the SWs have forgotten about the Hollerton/Borchester split all those years ago (20+!), but the above is better for my blood pressure.)

Brian could have cat scratch fever (an actual disease), but I don’t think that involves a cough, just fever and general malaise.

Cheese Easter eggs should surely be Cheester Eggs! Personally I can’t think of anything worse - when you buy an Easter Egg you’re expecting chocolate (it’s like all that super processed vegan and veggie stuff shaped to look like bacon, sausages or other meat stuff).

Surely if he didn't want to be told the answer would be not to go to see the doctor? Who goes to the doctor only to stick their fingers in their ears as soon as the doctor starts discussing what might be wrong with them?

I'm predicting that the mystery illness is HepC or an STD, all set to interrupt Halice's headlong progress towards bed.

I thought this was really strange. But do wonder now from reading some of these posts if it’s a clue about some kind of addiction.

@SequentialAnalyst Sorry, I hadn’t thought of that being a spoiler. i’ve asked for it to be deleted, even if it is a bit late.

I was confused by them going out for a ride to get ready for their hack the next day. And when Alice suggested carrying on for a bit longer round some hill, surely they were still mounted so how come Harry slipped and fell in the mud, and who was holding the horses whilst they were cavorting in the bog?

Cheese should be left alone. No random ingredients added.