Archers thread #158: Te Rum? You numpty, numpty, Tom! Empty tearoom follows. Christmas coming, farmers’ stand up, will it make us LOL? No! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Tom Archer is a great businessman, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LillianGish for the title idea, which may plant an earworm if my scansion just about holds up. @BeatriceBatchelor wanted 'plebby coffee' inserted in reference to my Bolivian coffee anecdote on the last thread, so I'll mention it here instead. Here's hoping Fallon and Emma decamp to the charging station or Grey Gables, or both, to run the type of coffee shop/tearoom people actually enjoy spending time in. Tom's cauliflower eclairs and kale criossants approach sounds more likely to drive the casual trade away from the farm shop and cheese window as well as the Google Translate-named Te Rum.

Feeling very uninspired by TA at the moment, so I have nothing more to say for now. Over to you!

They were lying in bed, she was meant to sound about to doze off I think.

Frankly I thought that Harry should never have been forgiven for his outrageous rudeness in day 1 and I wasn’t buying the conversion to charming and thoughtful. Normally they say that if you want to see what die own is really like, look at how they interact with serving staff and other people in that sort of role. Both Alice and Lilian had the opportunity to see Harry’s nastiness from the moment they met him, more fool them for brushing it under the carpet.

As said upthread there’s no way anyway that someone as prominent in the eventing world would live “just on the other side of Darrington and be unknown to Chris, Alice and Lilian. What is his stables for anyway? Does he train other eventers? And why not stable his niece’s pony himself if he’s that close?

Usha's voice always inclines towards little girl in tone, but she sounded terribly giddy talking about Jakob!

Mind you I do have Jakob down as a handsome though awkward devil. I think Kate has an eye for a good looking man

Phoning your date's spouse under false pretences is definitely always a sinister act!

I think the weird call to Chris is definitely a red flag. As was the aggressive shouting when he was first introduced.

I really hope that he doesn't push Alice back into drinking again.

Yes, I fear that might be where this will
end up for Alice. Whether that’s because she finds out he’s married, awful or something else.

Or maybe she will show just how far she’s come and kick him to the kerb?

I do think that if he is a rob then he has shown his hand quite early so will it be a quick sl at least

We have literally only just got rid of Ron, PLEASE can we have a break from DA storylines?!

I don’t really want a repeat of the Rob SL. But perhaps if it’s the sort of thing which gets listeners talking, they’d consider a similar / repeat.

I agree this isn't the first time we have heard that Jakob is good looking. First time I've heard Usha drooling over him AFAIK. Seemed tacky to say that to your husband, and she can't seriously think he'd be a good compere, even if he is Adonis reincarnate!

Why do we have to have another weird boyfriend storyline? There's enough complication and nuance in a new relationship storyline as it is. Can't we just explore that?

There are a lot of weird bfs out there!

I think it would be unusual for Alice to meet her next life partner that quickly and easily. You have to kiss a lot of frogs…

Alice spent way too much time talking about Chris last night. May be she is more fun when we are not listening in but she seems to spend the whole time when she is with Harry talking about Chris and Martha. She seems a pretty dull date to me.

Calling Chris at 10:30pm would have been a bad sign but excusable had Harry been drinking; but presumably last night’s date was sober so the call falls into the sinister category. It is inconceivable that an Ambridge farrier would not know/know of a horseman who lives the other side of Darrington.

I have always thought of Jakob as being classically handsome. I know it’s a generalisation but Swedes generally are.

Hmmph …

Absolutely praying there’s an innocent explanation for Harry’s phone call to Chris - but I can’t think of one.

It’s all too true the SWs are fond of the one out, one in routine - but we surely have had enough of villains for now? And Alice’s recovery is surely challenging and interesting enough on its own.

I thought Usha was quite funny rather than tacky, @Grimchmas! Alan understood her perfectly. (Are domestic partners supposed to pretend they’ll never find another human attractive throughout their entire relationship?)

i always imagine Jakob is reasonably plain but quite buff

given his rather tetchy manner with people they are just objectifying him as they certainly can’t fancy him for personality

I really hope that he doesn't push Alice back into drinking again.

Oh dear, @MrsBennetsPoorNerves, we can’t both be happy.

Drunk Alice throws bricks at Susan (and Jim).
Sober Alice shows no promise at all in the brick- throwing stakes.
Susan (and Jim) need bricks lobbed at them on a regular basis.
No one else is stepping up.
Triple vodka for Alice it is, then.

😱🤣 @RegimentalSturgeon

I picture Jakob as like Eric Northman from True Blood - and I disagree that no one would fancy his personality. Loads of people go for grumpy! People used to fancy Jack Dee didn’t they, and I think Usha said Jakob was very “authoritative” or something 😁

Can’t recall if I’m repeating myself but as far as we know, no one is pregnant at the moment. That ought to be the next excitement, rather than more twirling moustaches.

Nova and Seren are practically teenagers now. And their arrival was relatively un-dramatic. Wonder who’ll be next …

I like Jakob's personality. He's clever, competent, honest, reliable, tidy, straightforward, polite, direct and decent. He doesn't appear to have much of a sense of humour, though, which would be a dealbreaker for me, no matter how Adonis-like he is.

It’s not that he doesn’t have a nice enough personality but he’s a bit too forthright for him to have a village wide fanciable personality. There’s a reason women always end up falling for the Justin’s/robs/harrys of this world - superficial charm and ultimately blandness! And Jakob doesn’t have that

as far as we know, no one is pregnant at the moment.

There aren’t many ovulating likely candidates, really.

Pip - we know she’s not
Alice can’t be atm
Kate - too old, thank goodness
Helen - we’d know by now
Stella- don’t be daft

Which leaves:

Chelsea (Aaaagh! been there, done that, couldn’t bear a repeat)
Meer. No. Just no. “If you really cared about the environment, you’d terminate”
Lily - not in a relationship (understandably, because she’s horrible) but maybe a festive revisiting of ONS Sol
Emma - two teenagers, no money
Fallon - who has managed never to get knocked up and who doesn’t want children.

So, most likely to be Emma or Fallon. I do hope they don’t do that.

I've been married for over 40 years to a man who could give Jakob a run for his money in the forthrightness stakes! I think I may be immune to charm, possibly because of my Calvinist upbringing.

Well me too - my DH is of a nationality known for their directness!!

if Brookfield is just repeating their Eurovision act then surely everyone has already seen it?

I had to be told that David Beckham was good-looking. Jakob sounds just my type.

Seren and Nova were born in 2022 so aren't anywhere near being teenagers.

Maybe George will have upduffed one of the Button sisters.

How old is Denise?