Archers thread #158: Te Rum? You numpty, numpty, Tom! Empty tearoom follows. Christmas coming, farmers’ stand up, will it make us LOL? No! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Tom Archer is a great businessman, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LillianGish for the title idea, which may plant an earworm if my scansion just about holds up. @BeatriceBatchelor wanted 'plebby coffee' inserted in reference to my Bolivian coffee anecdote on the last thread, so I'll mention it here instead. Here's hoping Fallon and Emma decamp to the charging station or Grey Gables, or both, to run the type of coffee shop/tearoom people actually enjoy spending time in. Tom's cauliflower eclairs and kale criossants approach sounds more likely to drive the casual trade away from the farm shop and cheese window as well as the Google Translate-named Te Rum.

Feeling very uninspired by TA at the moment, so I have nothing more to say for now. Over to you!

I knew tonight’s was going to be a cracker after reading your thoughts.

1. why the fuck is everyone in a poly tunnel and where did the bastard tunnel come from without Iain or Oliver noticing????

2. “I’d love nothing more than to compete again. But I can’t. Alice.” 😂😂😂

3. “it’s so lovely to see our staff finally working” again how the fuck did the bosses not know their own staff were going to be working that evening???

4. yet again a poly tunnel??? In December??? Sounds like a terrible terrible party, far too narrow

Omg Harry!!! “I was jumping a log combination on a young horse”

ROFL

“where did you land?”
”on my hip”

<collapse>

“It was devastating. Alice.”

”I found it all. impossible. To accept”

In addition to all the other concerns mentioned by you all above, I was shouting at Adil to get on with hosting the event! There's plenty of time during the week to iron out the details of the pizza van idea with a man who literally still works for you full time ... why waste precious time at your big event?! Who was schmoozing the partners, the suppliers, the random guests? Who was actually hosting while the alleged host had an extended chat with an employee he sees every day? I mean, Oliver did leave and possibly get on with it a bit, but even so ...

I wonder who their meat suppliers are. I don't think we've heard of any of the Ambridge farms getting in on that, have we?

I wonder who their meat suppliers are. I don't think we've heard of any of the Ambridge farms getting in on that, have we?

Previously captured populations, once the aliens have finished experimenting on them

I can't sleep and this thread is giving me a good chuckle.

I haven't listened for three weeks! Tomorrow I'm going to listen to it all.

The GG story gets increasingly bizarre. It was the most unlikely party.

Showing my age but reminding me of The Three Amigos and these lines:

‘We could take a walk, and you could kiss me on the veranda.’

‘Lips would be fine.’

Oh maybe that’s why it made me laugh so much.

honestly last night was a comedy masterclass, especially the Alice and Harry bits. I actually want to listen to it again 😆

Goodness Ed has been busy:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001sv2d

I was aware of some of Barry Farrimond-Chuong’s good works but hadn’t really grasped their full extent. Or that he’d been awarded an MBE.

https://noyo.org.uk/

Showing my age but reminding me of The Three Amigos and these lines:

‘We could take a walk, and you could kiss me on the veranda.’

‘Lips would be fine.’

That just made me burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Which is quite some achievement at this time on a freezing Saturday morning.

You'll need strong drink to hand. Good luck.

I knew nothing about any of that. Good for Ed! Who’s the poster with the Ed crush on here?

Where has all that good comedy gone!

‘and stop calling me Shirley!’

surely a polytunnel at this time of year would require heaters? That can’t be good for the environment

Oh you lot have cheered me up no end. This from @RegimentalSturgeon still has me chuckling:

And wishing Fournier’s gangrene following the enthusiastic insertion of a hot tartlet tin on Tom is almost certainly imperilling my immortal soul.

I did choose to google said gangrene and Tom deserves no less!

There’s usually something good to say about TA at any one time, but it’s all dross at the moment isn’t it? And really badly acted 😬

I appreciate breaking your hip is very different to a hip replacement but Nick Skelton managed to win gold at the Olympics.

Is there another type of horse event that would be easier on a hip?

or is it all that bobbing up and down that puts pressure on hips?

It's as though the scriptwriters have forgotten that we've all listened to an episode with a hen party hosted inside the building...
(Although, I'm assuming it was drinks and nibbles rather than full on food provision... so perhaps we could cut some slack there?) 🤔

It would have sounded better if he had broken his back. Or neck. Not too badly but enough to merit years of surgery and rehab. He could then talk about how it’s a miracle he is up and about - and galloping on first dates - but can’t ever compete again.

I don’t know why Harrison was so flabbergasted to see Alice back in the saddle, so to speak.

If I was Oliver I would have been unimpressed by the poly-party. I would want to see my staff doing what I pay them to do ie running a busy hotel rather than kicking up their heels and partying with suppliers (who will provide GG with what they need whether or not you invite them to a party). I wish Addle had been written out. He is such an irritant.

The lack of kitchen is the problem though - not entertaining space. From what adil said they used the soon to be ripped out kitchen

Oh I did have one BOOP for Alice describing Kate as “a hoot”. I mean how else to describe her.

I wish Addle had been written out. He is such an irritant.

I had this fantasy round about Bonfire Night that he would be found curled up in a heap of dry leaves and quite, quite dead. But no, the bugger came back.

Just wondering how many people will be gagging to go out to eat pizza in a polytunnel in winter, as opposed to just ordering a home delivery?

how many people will be gagging to go out to eat pizza in a polytunnel in winter, as opposed to just ordering a home delivery?

Fairy lights and a faint whiff of sheep? Sub-zero temperatures? It’ll be standing room only, you mark my words.