Archers thread #157: How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless clan! Discuss The Grundys here. Bicker about The Archers as well if you like.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @OverArmour for the idea of making it clear in the title many of us are inveterate bickerers!

Now over to you, as we are about to eat and I won't hear tonight's offering till later ....

Wouldn't it be great if the SW would come over and do an AMA with us?

Which of the twelve do you think would be worth talking with about it?

The ones I like have details like: 'she loved having people around, and she would always have a freshly baked caked ready for us and any friends we brought along. Her doors were open to all the waifs and strays from the neighbourhood, she was everyone's Aunty. But woe betide anyone who tried to visit between 7.02 and 7.15 every evening when The Archers was on! She once shushed her brother who had just arrived off the plane from Dominica. He wasn't allowed to even say hello until the end theme tune had finished.'

Actually, it was Coronation Street in that example, but I can imagine someone saying similar about me and TA.

Yes to this, @Fink!

I really like learning something about people in the funeral sermon or family eulogy (however it is done). Especially when it’s very elderly people and the funeral reveals some absolutely mad truths about their wild youth. Adds some joy.

I think there should be some smiles and laughter at a good funeral. It’s different when it’s a tragic death, such as the death of a young person. But even then, I’ve seen some
priests who have struck a good balance between mourning their death and celebrating their life. Very tricky.

Sounds like we're luckier than I thought as Catholics then, I didn't realise our practice wasn't what other denominations did. I like a nice eulogy given by the family, you get to find out so much about what the deceased was really like

Well, I wouldn't say you were lucky. It's not the role of the deceased's loved ones to entertain you if they're not confident public speakers or are too distressed.

@Bruisername - do you favour a direct cremation?

I wonder if this funeral was meant to be a precursor to another funeral we are expecting to happen sometime soon…

May be we were being set up to do a compare and contrast. I don’t think Ron’s eulogy is going to be full of fun anecdotes and jokes…

Direct cremation sounds good to me!!

I’ve seen a mix of family and vicar doing eulogy. I think it can be hard for family.

I don't consider it entertainment. I'm there to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased and I'll do that either way, but it's nice to get a feel for who they were. Often it's either people I haven't known at all or, as AngryBirds says, someone I've only known in their later years. I recently went to the funeral of a woman I didn't meet until she was in her 80s. The eulogy revealed quite an adventurous youth and middle age, including an impromptu road trip across the Maghreb and Levant, culminating in a whirlwind romance and marriage to a Lebanese man. I wish I'd known her then!

Of course I'm not advocating relatives being forced into giving a eulogy if they're not comfortable with it. I'm sure the priest would do it if asked, it's just not the way it's usually done with us. Most families I help to prepare appreciate the chance to speak for themselves, and they either choose one person who is happy to do it or a few of them do it together and support each other. Sometimes the grandchildren have written poems. There are quite often tears and people can't always finish what they had prepared, but everyone is very sympathetic and understanding. It's not a compulsory part of the service, sometimes it doesn't happen at all and there's just a brief biography printed in the order of service. That's fine if it's what the family wants, but most often they do want to say a few words.

Direct cremation sounds good to me!!

Me too. I know when this comes up on MN, there are always cries of "funerals are for the living!" but I've found most I've been to just incredibly upsetting.

Not to mention the expense.

When we talk about funerals at home I just say I’m happy with whatever they want to do. Maybe as I get older I’ll change my mind!!

my dad has a plan but my mum would rather nothing

Just if you do ask a humanist to do the funeral make sure he knows how the dead person's name was pronounced. The one who officiated for my dear Mum's funeral got it wrong consistently, and my children had terrible trouble not giggling.

Same goes for religious funerals! It's sometimes difficult when the person was universally known by a nickname. Do you refer to her as Gabrielle or Tep?

Kale croissant and cauliflower eclair! Totally grim!! It’s a farm cafe fgs! She’s walking soon I’m sure. And I’m surprised Emma let him bully her into eating something so grim

already finding the ‘comedy’ wearing and the discrimination against non farmers

What a ridiculous story about the kale croissants and the cauliflower eclairs.

As if!

More a case of, if her name is spelt Irene do you call her "I-renny" or "I-reen" throughout, without bothering to check with her husband that she was actually called I-ree-nee.

The key thing being "Check with her husband/sister/son/other person who actually knew her and used her name on a daily basis".

Bruisername
She’s walking soon I’m sure.

I suspect we got a strong hint for some future storyline from the fact that Adil had ordered more of something she had baked.

Yesterday's funeral was weird. I thought Alan must have announced at some point that the will specified he use the script written by the deceased.

I think he had to use the script written by the deceased's family.

Stupid episode. Every bit of it.

Concise. To the point. Accurate.

Very silly episode tonight!

My aunt had a Catholic funeral with three priests one of whom was her best friend whom she used to go away with on pilgrimage. To our surprise he pronounced not only her name wrong but the name of her house too. Nobody felt able to tell him as he had been her friend for so long. It was a jolly affair though as she was a much loved 92 year old and we celebrated her.

Indeed.

Was tonight supposed to be a joke? Is Tom genuinely meant to be a complete halfwit?

The one at Aston is nearly 2 acres…. And then there’s parking etc. Would still take up a lot more space than a ‘spa’, which must be smaller than a 3.5t lorry (maybe 2 if I allow them a building to house it in).

10acres would be nice amount for a rehab unit though…. Or Natasha’s house AND flowers…. How big a garden does she need? She doesn’t want a horse….