Archers thread #149: This is not a drill, it’s a plot device. Here’s hoping for Stella-r rows in Ambridge. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think George Grundy's bantz make him a great laugh and totally harmless to women, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for title suggestions - @FallonsNewCoat started us off with Drilling down OR What’s the drill?: So many jobs hanging in the balance - what’s planned for Adam, Stella, Freddie and horrible George?, @OverArmour's suggestion was ‘Drilling down on less than Stella-r performances and who will be a pig in muck’ and @TeenDivided contributed the laserdrill focussed Lets drill into plot holes and hope George gets his comeuppance. I went for a bit of all of that. The phrase at the back of my head, which I am very pleased to have tracked down, was from one of my favourite film franchises where the character Conklin says in Jason Bourne's memory This is not a drill, soldier. We clear on that? This is a live project. You are go. Training is over. Training is over. Well, that's us, troops. Training is over, discussing The Archers is a live project, and it's our job to drill down into all aspects of what we hear.

On the last thread, people were discussing how unrealistic the portrayal of mental health problems is on TA. I wholeheartedly agree, but I suppose they don't feel they can tackle long-running slow burn storylines that often. They made a great effort with Jack Woolley's Alzheimer's. Other than that, I don't recall anybody having a recurring illness that's been portrayed realistically (and actually that goes for physical conditions as well). Most things clear up and are hardly mentioned again. Sticking just to mental illness, Pat had depression after John died, Mike Tucker had a bad bout of depression, so did Elizabeth. Helen's ED may or may not be about to re-appear, but nobody's mentioning it. Ben's rapid-onset depresssion recently led to a psychotic episode but now he's fine, not least because he got prompt, skilled and appropriate treatment on the NHS, unlike most of the UK. This is one area where I feel they shouldn't even attempt it if they can't do it in a way that reflects the reality of what most of us experience, for ourselves and our loved ones.

Anyway, with that off my chest - over to you!

I don't think Lee hit him, but Rob will claim he did, and then the karate rules will come into play. And of course he’s refused a solicitor, and got talked into accepting a community resolution, which he can only do if he admits guilt. So even if Rob accepts the community resolution, he’s already admitted guilt with the effect on his job, and if Rob refuses, he’s going into court with the handicap that he’s already admitted guilt.

i simply cannot wait for the Rob story line to be history. It is tedious and unbelievable in so many respects.

Yes why oh why didn't he ask for a solicitor when presented with the options?

So Lee's now been stupid as well.

Rob will agree to the resolution on condition he can see the boys.

Helen will obviously want to refuse which will place her in an impossible position as refusing will mean Lee goes to prison and can’t visit his girls. She will choose to protect her boys and this will be the beginning of the end of her relationship with Lee.

Tom will wallow in self pitying “it’s all my fault” wails.

Pat and Tone crumble under the stress.

Misery heaped upon misery.

Nothing for it, someone will have to shoot Knob. Preferably through the Great Dairy Window.
Place your bets on who will do the deed
a. Pat
b. Helen
c. Tom
d. Tony
e. Henwee
f. Gnasher (she's faaaaamly)

or ... PLOT TWIST...

g. Miles (for the inheritance, but he will try to shift the blame onto one of the above)

is Rob the eldest then? did he get everything? Can't remember if Titchener Snr is still alive?

Surprise option G

Peggy!

With Pat's shotgun, egged on by Hilda.

The recoil will knock her over and through the glass of the dairy window, which wasn't properly specified safety glass because they engaged dodgy builders to put it in quickly. She'll bleed out as a result of lacerations from broken glass. PC Burns will find Rob and Peggy in a pool of blood both dead and the only witness a psychopath cat.

I have to say this is more believable than recent events (and Lee’s acting was terrible tonight)

What is galling is Pat consoling Tom for being an interfering numpty and damaging things for Helen. Was any attention paid to her? Hers was the only sane voice.

Knob is a thoroughgoing wrong 'un, but really, if someone comes to your house uninvited and calling the odds, you get to say what you what to them. All that whining about him being the bad guy for getting under their skin.

As for Lee, agree his acting terrible and his lack of self control unbelievable.

Agreed :(

I’m having flashbacks to 80s Play School and think we’re going through the square window.

I think Harrison should have advised Lee to get a solicitor. I know that’s not what policemen do, but I suspect Harrison would have.

Yes, they’ve somehow made what should be a suspenseful storyline very boring.

The original Rob SL was a very slow and subtle burner till the big climaxes with the stabbing and the trial, and that was why it worked. The trouble with this one is that it's the reverse of subtle and they've kept signalling developments with big flashing neon lights so there is no element of suspense.

It just makes me not want to listen. It’s all very melodramatic and sad and soap-like.

More rare breeds queries and maize planting dilemmas please

I quite liked having Ruari back.

Yes, R’s return was very welcome last night. And I was very pleased to hear Brian’s cookery classes seem to be ongoing.

I thought B might be about to show R his will when he said he wanted to show him something…but it was just the old armchair! The SWs will have their fun…

The Rob storyline is just misery piled on misery isn't it. I did enjoy Helen last night with her line to Tom "This isn't about you!" Good point, well made Helen - of course Tom won't hear it. And as for Lee, he was just utterly hopeless - I can't see Helen's relationship with him lasting through this. More misery to add to the pile.

It was nice to hear Ruari talking about normal studenty things like working (and not as a toy boy) to earn money.

Ruairidh was good to hear, though the saving up all summer for a laptop thing was iffy - my 'new' reconditioned machine cost 200 euro, very whizzy and good for years to come. I'm sure there's a place somewhere off the Borchester bypass that can sort him out.

The Rob story is so dull, I'm hoping for a dairy emergency requiring the presence of Tom, Natasha, Helen, Pat and Lee, observed by Rob through the window, followed by a massive industrial accident and explosion that wipes them all out.

Johnny and Tony can take over, with or without the assistance of the twins.

I know it sounds a shocking waste of cheese, but maybe Clarrie and Susan can have put it safely in a blast-proof storage room before heading back home.

Pat was as infuriating as Tom and Lee. She was, as usual, all "oh he meant well" when what he did was ruin any chance of any kind of good, safe, resolution for Helen. Who is now, i think, in real danger of losing custody of at least one of her children.

Absolutely toxic masculinity (Tom, Lee for going along with it and not having the backbone to say "let's go through the legal process") and toxic patriarchy (Pat).

And Lee not having a solicitor. Who in their right mind ever ever ever goes to an interview with the Plod without one? This whole story line is making me not want to listen at all, it is infuriating. When we know how many men punish their ex by repeatedly dragging them to court, over and over, but nobody ever remarks on it and the courts never address it. A SL like that could have done WONDERS to raise awareness.

And the stupid SW went for the big explosive option - and not even in the 20,000 ep. God I am really Very Cross.

(and as i mentioned on twitter: all this Rob stuff with him the absolute focus without actually hearing Rob is brilliant writing. Really fills the "cut costs" brief but keeps him present. Long may that last, tbh)

Is there an aspect of Lee not being able to enter the US if he has an actual conviction even if it's not prison? I have no idea how these things work!

i think we're supposed to care and worry about Lee but frankly? the actor is awful, the character is awful and i just want him gone.

So Ruari is back just as Brian is casting his net about wondering who might take over the running of the farm and he's bequeathed him the favourite chair from Home Farm - the one everyone wanted to sit in - in his very own room. Literally feathering his nest. I'm finding the Knob story a difficult listen because it feels so inevitable - especially since that random scene with Pat shooting pigeons to signpost a never-before-mentioned gun. He hasn't even spoken yet, but I can already recall his supercilious tones and can perfectly imagine his exchange with Lee. Tom has played right into his hands and I agree with Helen - it's unforgivable yet at the same time painfully predictable. I tend to think the plot could have been equally drawn out, but less melodramatic without Tom and Lee's intervention. Abusive men must try to gain access to their children all the time to torment their partners - demonstrating how insidious this can be would have been a good storyline in itself.

Crosspost with @Brefugee who expressed it so much better with: When we know how many men punish their ex by repeatedly dragging them to court, over and over, but nobody ever remarks on it and the courts never address it. A SL like that could have done WONDERS to raise awareness.