Archers thread #148: Unseasonably, it's panto time in Ambridge. He's behind you, Pat! BANG. Discuss the Archers here.

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Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Will Rob return, or are they playing with us? Will Pat run amok with her shotgun and wipe out half the village? (We can but hope ...) Will Oliver come to his senses and turf the Grundy clan out of Grange Farm? So many questions, so much time.

Over to you!

But Pat always bullies Tony, so it was entirely in character at least.

I don;t suppose Bridge Farm will stand or fall on a couple of thousand quid, which is what the Starry Twins are likely to have earned for a single modelling session.

Oh I thought it was much more than just a couple of grand. Wasn’t it meant to be enough to set the girls up in the future (to pay university tuition fees or something similar)? I assumed it would have to be £50k minimum. Whatever it was, they should offer to hand it over to the farm. But T and N are not really the sort to do the right thing….

The editorial team may think it's vast amounts, but I personally doubt very much indeed that two babies get paid much. A couple of random sites on a quick search: these were the first two which came up and mentioned actual amounts of money:

https://www.goodto.com/family/babies/baby-modelling-everything-you-need-to-know-65581

"How much do baby models make in the UK?Agents will put your child forward to clients for potential shoots and opportunities. If successful, your child will be paid for their time. Though fees vary and are dependent on a number of factors.
"The hourly rate is between £45 - £52.50 depending on the age of the child," says Charlotte Evans. This is generally the fee expected from shoots and is pretty synonymous across the board even if your baby is modelling for Gap or other big brands like Next and Pampers.
Bonnie suggests a similar rate and notes how the fee can increase for TV or if involved in a buyout deal.
"Typical fees start at around £60 per hour for photographic work to around £180 per day for a TV commercial," she says. "Then there's buyout fees which can go into the thousands for just one job. TV/Film work can start from around £60 per day upwards."

https://www.moneymagpie.com/make-money/child-modeling

"On the whole, earnings for babies and tots begin at about £50 an hour (or £300 per day). The fee rises with age to about £70 an hour as a 16-year-old. Parents need to put the money into an account in the child’s name or in a trust fund for the child. You can’t make money for yourself from your children’s modelling career."

In other words, nothing like the fortune Natasha has suggested every time the money has been mentioned.

A lot of unnecessary fuss caused by this modelling. Everyone’s convinced it will ruin the farm’s reputation even though the pictures won’t appear in the U.K. Babies look pretty similar at the twins age anyway, it’s doubtful any customers would recognise them in the unlikely event they saw the ad.

The amount was to get them through uni and maybe a house deposit (x2 of course). To pay all the fees would be £56k if that's what they mean. Plus living expenses. And what's a deposit likely to be? £20k? - I suppose they'll invest and make some.
But in other words, I can't imagine the pay is that much. It's nonsense.

One of my grandsons got paid £40 a session about 10 years ago. They don't make huge amounts. Maybe more if it's a TV advert.

It’s utterly ludicrous, and again, just a means to get Tom off the farm (or some other big plot move). Said it before and I’ll say it again, I hate it when you can see the gears moving.

I don’t know what to say about Martin Gibson. Appalling overreach. Poor Neil.

This made me chuckle…

The correct answer is of course always Tom.

Thoughtless Tom vs. whiny Tony is a bit like Trump vs. Hillary - you want them both to lose!

I would happily marry Tony.

I wondered whether we were being set up to have more agonised hang wringing as Tom and Natasha try to decide/argue about whether to invest the 'life-changing amount' of money earned on the shoot in a new life in Evesham. Tom will say that it's for the girls in the long-term as they'll inherit (unless they do a Tom and decide to walk away ...); Natasha will think that the money should very strictly be kept for university or a house deposit (I think it was either/or, not both, by the way).

Natasha also clearly worried about moving away from family support for childcare. Whereas Tom had an argument with his dad, and decided within a couple of days that it was time to start a new life free of parental shackles.

agree - i think it is is outrageous, really, that Tom puts their reputation on the line and Pat is all worried that they'll take the diamond-studded twins away.
Tom is in a snit and wants to move 2 towns away, and Natasha is all "oh shit, I'll lose all that free childcare"

You'd do anything for a train set!

Just realised ‘Lily’s’ play is the drama on R4 at the moment. Written by and starring Katie Redford.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000tmky

So far it’s a posher version of the excellent TV series ‘In My Skin’. Much less gruelling though.

Am sure the Charles Paris fans amongst us speak as one:

Maurice Skellern, world-weary theatrical agent, is a far more entertaining character than the dull, oddly pro-George, Martyn Gibson.

😉

What is Erin hiding? Or what's she after?

And here we go with the Erin mystery …

What could it be?

I don't know

But, oh God, her accent. The actor does appear to be Irish but I suspect has lived in the UK for a while as there's an awful mangling of words. She keeps using weird expressions that are not Irish.

She also has this kind of singalong quaint Oirishness to her that the Beeb seems fond of - see also: Nurse Corrigan in Call the Midwife.

It really grates.

Keri Davies tweeted something to the effect that their research indicated that the twins could expect to earn something in five figures. But five figures is potentially only £10K, which won't go that far towards university costs split between two of them.

If I had applied for a job for which I was well qualified, only to have it go to the unqualified grandson of the manager who hadn't even filled in an application form let alone gone through the shortlisting process, I think I might have a few pertinent questions to ask about discrimination.

But presumably he was thinking at least £50,000?! Would there be a premium for twins (above that of earning double)?

We had gorgeous twin girls at our lower school, mum had modelled, they ended up doing some work for D & G.

I think a premium for twins would only apply if they were identical, and a lot was made shortly after they were born of Seren and Nova not looking the same.

It seems to me that the information about how much babies make in modelling which I found using a search engine is likely to be at least as accurate as that found by Keri Davies doing the same; mine seemed to suggest £300 per day or thereabouts for babies, and if his said £50,000 I would like to see it before accepting it as accurate. Remembering that the modelling engagement that caused all the trouble kept Tom off the farm for a single day, not a week or a month, I absolutely do not believe £50,000 for one day, nor even £10,000.

Over a ten-year period, possibly.

Aye, but better than a poke in the eye. And if it earns a few per cent for the next 16 years even better.