Archers thread #146: They did fall apart. Can they put themselves together again? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to donate your time as a guide at Lower Loxley to save the Pargetters paying someone else a living wage, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Impostersyndrome for the thread title suggestion Buses and trains are sorely lacking, canals might be nearby, but all roads lead to Ambridge, picking up on transport discussions in the last thread. In the end I didn't use it, having in mind the character limit. @TottersBlankly contributed an early draft title Wreathes, wrath, writhing (Jennifer, Lilian, Ruairi). Both good starting points for the new thread, which I hope will last till Jennifer's funeral, surely not too far off now. So, over to you - whither the Aldridges? Also, does anyone care if Lee goes to the US? Is anyone even slightly interested in the Brookfield B&B venture?

Thanks, sounds good!

Im sorry I know everyone on here loved Jenny but the way she is talked about in TA makes me feel that the world will stop revolving with out her. She was so fantastic at every thing she put her hand too. Was there no end to this saint like woman. Apologies if I sound horrible but she must have had some faults?. Oh and I think Lillian will be furious with Brian when she finds out he is chucking out Jenny's stuff.

we are hearing mainly from her family in the month after her death. I think they are allowed to idolise her a bit. We've not heard what e.g. Ed Grundy, Rex, or Jazzer think of her.

Good point about Lilian. I was thinking of the children but by far the most likely person to want to wear any of Jennifer's clothes is Lilian. Peggy might want a scarf or other memento.

I don't think you'd expect the family to be talking about Jennifer warts and all, not just yet, anyway. I agree with Teen that we will gradually hear what other people think, and they may be more inclined to mention how snobbish and pretentious Jennifer could be, for example.

@echt and anyone else for whom this is very close to home.

When my dad died, very suddenly and unexpectedly, one of the hardest things to even think about moving was the book he was reading. It was quite a long thriller, which he loved, but seeing his bookmark half way through was so hard to see. He'd never know the ending and that breaks me even now 11 years later.

I think they are handling Brian's reaction well, tbh. Am waiting for Kate to get all high-handed with Adam though. And maybe Lillian. And maybe at some point he'll say "well at least you still have your dad". (not sure if his is still around or if so, if he sees him)

I completely agree that Lillian might have been the best person to help Brian sort out Jennifer's clothes. I know that when my dad died my mum found clearing his clothes out quite cathartic - a bit like Brian, clearing some space, but doing so in a rather more organised way than him. My dad was known for his hats, so one of those went on top his coffin and I still have his panama on my hat stand, but other than that we were pretty unsentimental about it though we are both chuckers-out rather than hoarders by nature. Likewise when my lovely MIL died - I opened her wardrobe and the rail promptly collapsed which both DH and I took as a sign that she wanted us to clear up and be done with it! I'm curious to know what Jenny had tucked away on a clothes hanger for her children to find - it doesn't seem the obvious place to leave something you wouldn't want overlooked.

My sister was absolutely hopeless after my Dad died. She was staying in his house at the time and decided to sort out some of his clothes the day after he died and gave his best suit to a charity shop. She then realised there was nothing for him to wear in the coffin and had to buy another suit from a different charity shop as that one had been sold. After that she just made life more difficult for me by staying in the house from time to time and leaving her mess for me to clean up (wet towels, dirty dishes, full bins etc.). She was 60 not a teenager.

@LillianGish I'm curious to know what Jenny had tucked away on a clothes hanger for her children to find - it doesn't seem the obvious place to leave something you wouldn't want overlooked.

I got the impression there was also stuff in boxes, which (the boxes) were going to be a spectacular treat for Xander. Is he a child or a cat?

To be fair, small children love playing with boxes.

My mother and aunt allowed me to have a something of my grandad’s when he died when I was 19. But got rid of the rest. There were things I would have loved to keep, I’d have been willing to pay for them. Still haven’t forgotten over half a century later

Adam acted like a big baby about the clothes.

With the voice of a sinister spymaster!

Maybe Adam is going to find a marriage certificate between Jenny and Paddy Wossname for a marriage that was never annulled, rendering all his siblings illegitimate. #hopeless_optimist

Was it you that said he always sounded like he was deploying people to their deaths? I always hear him like that now!

I find this tendency of people to get rid of everything pronto incredibly hard. We have one of those in our family and it means I've ended up with one or two snatched mementos of beloved family members that are pretty random. The odd book or scarf. But when my granny died I ended up with all her socks and I loved wearing them, it sounds ridiculous but we shared a love of cosiness and it reminded me of all the times we'd spent together in front of the fire.

I think the main problem with the instant clearout (and the reason I think Adam and Ian did a good thing) is that you don't always know what items you might want to have to remind you of the person until the first flush of terrible grief is over. "Stuff" often seems so stupid in the face of loss. But three months or a year later you're thinking "whatever ever happened to that painting/ornament/clock/hat?" and by then it's all gone forever.

He does have the voice of a sinister spymaster!

I find this tendency of people to get rid of everything pronto incredibly hard. We have one of those in our family and it means I've ended up with one or two snatched mementos of beloved family members that are pretty random.

for so many families, Swedish Death Cleaning and actually talking about death would help. My grandma started giving us things, to remember her by, about 10 years before she died. And when my dad died my mum started planning who might want things, and asking us. It can be uncomfortable, but it is helping my mum greatly.

The last book my father gave me went to the charity shop unread. I've not read anything by the author since. My loss probably because it's a popular author.

The donating JD's clothes to a bring-and-buy is ill thought out. Imagine seeing someone you didn't like wearing your mother's favourite coat having only paid 50p for. That would hurt me.

People tend to not speak ill of the dead.

I still have a lot of my mum’s clothes and I don’t quite know how I’m going to part with them. I got rid of a lot but the ones I kept are so essentially her 😢

Just a mention, should anyone be interested, that March is Free Wills Month. Lots of charities are offering free wills for people over 55. It’s only simple wills I think but might be useful to someone - you can google for details.

(Finally - prunes. Yes, they are a classic of French cookery. Pruneaux d’agen feature in plenty of savoury dishes. JD surely did a cordon bleu course at some point?).

This is genius!

Would it make any difference?

Jennifer presumably has a valid will with the usual statement about revoking all previous wills.

The children already have shares in the home farm estate and legitimacy is no longer an issue in inheritance (for normal people - I believe titles still need legitimate male (by sex) heirs. Four of the five children are legally Brian's by acknowledged biology or adoption.

I'm sure Susan and the village gossips would enjoy the situation but I can't see it making much difference in practice other than possible spousal inheritance tax benefits.

@C8H10N4O2 Would it make any difference?

Oh, I wasn't thinking of the finances/inheritance/whatever, which are of no interest to me. The bulk of the money is all accounted for already, unless Jenny turns out to have won a fortune betting online on the dogs. I was thinking of the scandal of Alice and Kate being "no better than" - well, Ruairi.

Surely it will change the trust?

Maybe the the envelope Adam found contains a will that revokes all previous wills!

Not sure what if anything she had to leave, but it could be fun.

Re care home costs : Much like childcare, the cost paid by the local authority (the ‘free’ hours or the local authority funded provision) is below the true cost. So private customers (and parents of under3s) have to pay a much higher rate.
The highest cost in both sectors is labour.

Prunes were mentioned and raised a laugh on The Kitchen Cabinet last week.

I guessed before she said it!