Archers thread #146: They did fall apart. Can they put themselves together again? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to donate your time as a guide at Lower Loxley to save the Pargetters paying someone else a living wage, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Impostersyndrome for the thread title suggestion Buses and trains are sorely lacking, canals might be nearby, but all roads lead to Ambridge, picking up on transport discussions in the last thread. In the end I didn't use it, having in mind the character limit. @TottersBlankly contributed an early draft title Wreathes, wrath, writhing (Jennifer, Lilian, Ruairi). Both good starting points for the new thread, which I hope will last till Jennifer's funeral, surely not too far off now. So, over to you - whither the Aldridges? Also, does anyone care if Lee goes to the US? Is anyone even slightly interested in the Brookfield B&B venture?

I have almost certainly over-estimated Peggy’s IHT obligations re the charitable trust - sorry for the false alarm- others on here will know way more than me on that!

Even so she must have used up a lot/virtually all of her NRB on other things. The house is going to have to be sold surely, unless the Money Fairy steps in and ensures she still plenty in the bank. And what’s going to happen to Auntie Chris? £2k per week at the Laurels is going to rack up pretty quickly for remaining relatives to find…Shouldn't Lilian be contributing to those fees in some way?

I agree Peggy does seem to have been spending money like water.
On the other have she my have a generous pension provision from JackW, and limited personal outgoings, so it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to have a fair amount left.
Christine will be left in a perilous position though if Peggy has been paying her fees.

Auntie Chris? £2k per week at the Laurels

Is that how much it costs?

<Gulps>

I wouldn't be surprised it was ~£800 per week for FIL back in 2005.

It is £6000 a month for dementia (doubly incontinent largely bed based)

£1.2 million is what our family have paid out so far.

@MereDintofPandiculation

I also thought that lamb, leek and prune pie sounded pretty horrible, but also true to that generation maybe? Why do you say that? Far too exotic for anyone I know of that age.

It doesn't sound exotic to me. It sounds like seventies dinner party Country cooking. The sort of thing Delia Smith would have a recipe for. Prunes (to me) feel like an old-fashioned foodstuff although I'm sure they have been reinvented by modern chefs and no doubt hold their own in foams etc. I'm not a fan of meat with fruit, I have to say. Duck and orange, lamb and apricots, anything with sultanas (curries I'm looking at you), no thanks. I like lime in a Thai stir-fry but actual lumps of fruit I can do without.

I was a bit underwhelmed by the funeral. Thought Kate's actress does a great job with her voice (sounded v emotional) but the Lilian and Tony bit left me cold. Poor Brian and his tie though - that did feel very accurate.

Sorry just caught up and realised that the fruit cookery section was days ago

There can never be enough food talk for me.

Stunned by the care home costs. It's so grossly unfair. It's a matter of luck who ends up needing that degree of care and who doesn't. We should be finding a way to pay it out of taxes like the NHS. Offset by larger IHT take from everybody with significant assets at time of death, perhaps.

Listening back a few days and am appalled at the ageism of Freddy. I always liked him but ‘one foot in the grave’? Awful.

@Prestissimo Poor Brian and his tie though - that did feel very accurate.

Yes, didn't it just! Stuff like that - focusing on the trivial when under extreme stress - is universal.

Re: care homes I think what is really unfair is that if you 'just' have dementia then you don't get any NHS contribution to continuing care costs whereas if you're 'fortunate' enough to have physical illnesses then you do.

It's all frighteningly expensive though. There must be a better way.

There is a point when dementia is covered by the NHS. It's when the needs become 'medical' rather than 'social'. I'm not sure what the criteria are but this is what happened with my mother.

Finally! The Stables …

Ohhh … Brian clearing out her clothes - this I recognise. It’s awful for the children if they’re not consulted … Horrible thought, everything just bundled out of the house like that. And I bet the others will feel Adam and Ian have completely taken over …

BOOP for verisimilitude.

Yes, you’re absolutely right!

i was remembering what Id been looking up for Dad

You made me doubt myself for a minute!

I'd be like Brian and want to clear stuff I think.
Though we do have a suitcase of clothes from MIL who died 16 years ago.

So am I. At times like that I need to do something and get it sorted.

It doesn't sound exotic to me. It sounds like seventies dinner party Country cooking. The sort of thing Delia Smith would have a recipe for. Prunes (to me) feel like an old-fashioned foodstuff although I'm sure they have been reinvented by modern chefs It didn’t feature in my younger years, and I’m Jenny’s generation. But my mother didn’t have the upbringing for dinner parties, and I’ve always regarded cooking as something best kept in the privacy of me own home. Prunes were a big feature of post-war austerity so my mother jettisoned them as soon as she could, and they became one of these foods seen only on school dinner menus. You’re right about Delia, though. She claims it’s a French classic. Both Delia and the French agree with me that it’s the leeks that are out of place.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Totally agree with you re care costs, but it’s never going to be a priority because “why should I pay more tax to protect someone else’s inheritance?” “They don’t need their house any more so why shouldn’t it be sold to pay care costs?” I’ve tried “why shouldn’t someone who dies from cancer, heart disease etc have their house sold to pay their medical fees?” but it’s met with a blank look and “but medical care is free”. Rubbish, of course, it’s all choice, and we’ve chosen that people get medical care paid by everyone else through taxation, but “social” care costs they have to shoulder alone.

Re: care homes I think what is really unfair is that if you 'just' have dementia then you don't get any NHS contribution to continuing care costs whereas if you're 'fortunate' enough to have physical illnesses then you do. The other unfairness is that Councils pay only 60% of what self-payers (anyone with more than £23,000 in savings or house value) pay … so not only are you contributing £4000 a month, you are also paying for a good portion of someone else’s care too.

I was encouraged by Brian's practical approach to Jennifer's clothes. When my mother moved house several years after my dad's death, I had some difficulty persuading her that it really wasn't necessary to pack and move his clothes.

I do hope the "for my children" stuff throws up some scandal!

Coincidentally there’s a thread over in Elderly Parents covering exactly this

When my DH died, I sent his very good work suits and shirts to charity very quickly. They meant so little to me, but his casual wear was him. I kept back some, but otherwise give his male friends the pick of his wonderful flowery shirts. I still have his wedding clothes, and amazingly the suit he was wearing when I first met him.

For reasons I cannot fathom I could not get rid of his socks until last year, he died six years ago. It's not as if they were nice. I kept the good hiking socks.

💜 @echt.

Clothes are at the same time so intimate and so valueless.

@echt and anyone else for whom this is very close to home.

I can understand wanting to get things sorted, but not doing it without consulting everybody in the family.

Thank you, JanglyBeads and Gasp0de.

I agree this particular twist in the SL is being well-handled. Brian's matter of factness is very true to his character. And yes yes to Aldridge siblings seeing Adam as being high-handed.

Has Jenny's Will been mentioned yet? It's hard to imagine she wouldn't have one, but then it's quite common, apparently.

More than half of British adults don’t have a will.

which reminds me, I keep meaning to do mine…