Archers thread #143: In the Bleak Midwinter, Ambridge Folk Make Moan. Best Christmas ever? Probably not! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd love to be in Jolene's choir , or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Well, we made it through Stir Up Sunday without bloodshed, but poor Ben is now in the grip of psychotic depression. Not going to be a happy Christmas at Brookfield, sadly. When will Jill swallow her pride and go and give him the abject apology he deserves? Would it be a good idea anyway for Ben to see his gran at the moment?

Will Jazzer say yes? I hope so. We could do with a Horrobin wedding to look forward to.

Will Emma and Ed end up in court if they go ahead with this idiotic scheme to nick the logs from Peggy's Folly?

Will the two choirs put on a joint concert at Christmas? I assume so, and also that the BBC will continue to fool nobody by using recordings of what is clearly a really good well-rehearsed established choir, not a scratch choir of half a dozen novices.

Over to you!

So they did the sex thing two nights running?

Gosh.

Oh yea sex two nights running tut tut then unknowingly making a sex tape opps.
Besides all, that how come that they get a bit of cash and play the one armed bandit in the pub and also mention that Jazzer who is on his knees financially plays the machine all the time as well. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve just been listening to Farming Today’s recap of this week - in which they’ve focused on cheese production. Three extracts from site:

And nearly a third of all the milk produced in the UK goes in to making cheese, 70 per cent cheddar. 130,000 tonnes of it is exported, worth more than half a billion pounds.
But since Brexit, trade has been more complicated.

The run-up to Christmas is a key time of year for cheese makers as sales of British cheese rise significantly - at home and abroad. It's been a mixed year for dairy exports, according to the Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board, but cheese exports have remained strong. Although the figures are below where they were before the pandemic, demand for cheddar cheese in particular is growing again. We visit Wyke Farms in Somerset, large-scale producers of Cheddar, which export to 160 countries around the world.

A cheesemaker in one of the most remote parts of
England has been celebrating the seal of approval after winning gold at the World Cheese Awards. Doddington Dairy, in the Glendale Valley in Northumberland has had a turbulent 12 months. This time last year, they lost power for 11 days following Storm Arwen, and when the back-up generator broke down, the owner had to drive miles overnight to get a replacement, so they could milk the cows. However, owner, Neil Maxwell, says getting the seal of approval from experts is priceless for a small cheesemaker.

Really fascinating articles, that told me stuff I had no idea about - like the international cheese school in Treviso - and I wondered, for the umpteenth time, why Helen’s cheese making is portrayed more as a fun hobby than a serious business. We often hear about the start of some new idea, and then we occasionally hear her popping into the dairy - but surely, to be successful, she ought to be consumed by her work pretty much 24 hrs a day. Instead they’ve turned her into an incredibly bland character with no discernible drive or imagination - when she should be fighting to export her cheese and build a global business in the post-Brexit climate.

They might argue they've nodded in that direction with references to staffing levels at Berrow. It's not enough, though. What I would have liked was extended scenes in the dairy sorting out the seasonal specials, e.g. Christmas pudding flavoured cream, eggnog-flavoured yoghourt, a mad rush at Bridge Fresh to distribute veg boxes full of Bridge Farm sprouts, Tom and Maurice talking about sausages, Helen stressing over whether this year's Borchester Blue is as good as earlier years (nice discussion possible there over how the milk is affected by a heatwave drying up the grass), Brookfield getting the beef ready for Christmas deliveries. I'd even have settled for more about the Grundy turkey enterprise.

The log story is nonsense on every single level. Really disappointing stuff.

The only bit that hit the right note in last night's episode was people talking about how bitterly cold it is, and we all know that's just luck. Scripts were written weeks ago. (Bad sign in itself when I start thinking about scripts rather than just getting drawn into the story.)

Bah humbug!

Great cross post there! Completely agree, Totters. Sub-Eastenders is not what I want The Archers to be.

It feels like the SWs have given up on farming. To listen to TA, you wouldn't even know Brexit had happened and yet farmers (like fishermen) must be some of the most badly affected by all the new red tape it has necessitated. Instead we have to listen to sex in the open air (I'd assumed they'd at least got inside the van) in some of the coldest December temperatures for a long time and someone who presumably only has one coat (otherwise why not wear a different one for the messy business of logging) being mistaken for someone who I imagine has several - since the dinner party was the first time Emma had seen Fallon's coat. And now I'm guessing Rex won't want to report the theft to Harrison and instead we'll have some tedious sub-plot about Fallon's presumed infidelity somehow tying in with George's inexplicable crush on her. Thank you for the cheese info @TottersBlankly - I think I might start listening to Farming Today instead.

Just listened to last night. I mean honestly.

Grim, huh?

Poor Emma turned into a bit of pub porn …

The coat thing is too stupid for words. A woman who lives on a farm (unlimited farm clothes available) wearing her new, best coat out to wrestle with logs in the middle of the night? And no one on the writing team questioned this?

@LillianGish I do find Farming Today good support for Archers listening!

I heard the Farming Today cheese feature twice. Loved hearing Neil Maxwell's northumbrian accent. That part of the UK is not unfamiliar to me.

I wasn’t looking forward to listening to last night’s episode, because I’d read all your comments, above. I was right. What a load of nonsense. Emma was in the Bull with her stupid coat while Rex and Tony are there. If it’s so distinctive (shiny leopard print in my mind) why don’t they see it?

Emma was in the Bull with her stupid coat while Rex and Tony are there.

Was she wearing it in The Bull, though? It must be absolutely filthy now it's been relegated to woodland tarpaulin duties.

It's just words on paper to the SWs - do they even run through their imagined scenes in their head?

It’s supposed to be cream/white isn’t it? Or did I dream that?

SW1 - Festive greetings to all! This is the last script meeting for this year, and what a year it has been!

SW2-14 and the intern (for it is she), mumbled greetings.

SW1. - welcome back to our lovely intern who has (somewhat unusually) been seconded to Woman’s Hour for the last few months. I hope you’re all ready to throw yourself back in to our merry crew.

Intern - yes, I have been back for six weeks now, as I’ve told you repeatedly, but this is the first meeting you’ve invited me to.

SW1 - so what is the news from Mummysnet? How are they enjoying the choirs and the saucy shenanigans in the woods? I think we’re really hitting the spot with what today’s lady listener likes.

Intern - I’ve made some notes…

(if you have no idea what this is about, sorry. I’m on holiday for nearly a month so hopefully the intern will get some inspiration).

When Ed pointed out that it was dirty, she said she might buy a new one with the money from the logs. Maybe she's got one already.

There is no way that selling one trailer full of damp wood has raised enough for a meal and drinks in the bull and a new coat, given that they gave Tracy free wood. Emma said she would just wipe the coat down ( which you could do with shiny leopard skin - the pattern wouldn’t show marks either). Emma wouldn’t want another coat that’s cheaper that Fallon’s luxury model.

Field stock have to be looked at and checked on every day.

Welcome back @Chemenger.
Oh yes @LillianGish George is going to hear the rumour about his stepdad and Fallon isn't he. Complex.

How can they script things as well as eg Ruth's speech to Jill, and then as badly as that conversation between Rex and Tony?

I like the idea of having sheep and herefords that you can just leave in a field and then go and look at them every now and then. Farming would be easy.
We don't hear much about the milking at Bridge Farm, do we. Does Johnny do it all himself quietly, and Pat the same with the goats?

One of the cheesemakers on Farming Today had montbeliards.

Send my regards to the intern, @Chemenger! I've missed her. If only they would listen to her ...

I like the idea of having sheep and herefords that you can just leave in a field and then go and look at them every now and then. Farming would be easy.

That's just how it works, as long as there aren't any problems...

Obviously there will be problems; it's farming.

I think there might be just a teensy weensy bit more to it.

It was Fallon wearing the coat in the pub, not Emma. This whole storyline is moronic.

Emma said she would just wipe the coat down ( which you could do with shiny leopard skin - the pattern wouldn’t show marks either)

I'm pretty sure Fallon said at some point that her coat was lovely and warm. And it’s the same one that Emma's got. A wipe-down coat that’s also toasty warm? Maybe there are such things but it all sounds very confused (and written by someone who's never been out shopping for coats).