🌱 Archers thread #131: A time to plant, a time to reap. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you also have a few millions lying around you're not sure how to invest, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the week night episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Roysnewshirt and @Edmontine for title suggestions, and apologies to anyone I’ve missed or forgotten. In the end, inspired by Edmontine's idea and a brief discussion at the end of the last thread, I remembered that it's autumn now and the Ambridge farmers are presumably sowing barley, winter wheat, potatoes etc, so I found myself recollecting Ecclesiastes 3 (King James version) - my Church of Scotland upbringing has a lot to answer for. This led me back to one of my favourite numbers by The Byrds (written by Pete Seeger):

Roysnewshirt suggested Prayer cards, rehab, a glass of scotch, a bowl of chilli or even a dish of lasagne…we offer a range of solutions here to help you solve any Ambridge problem - large or small etc etc, which is as good a point as any to start this thread. Do we think Neil and Susan are solid again? Will Alice relapse? Will Shula confess all to the Bishop?

Reflecting on last night's offering, Edmontine said I’m musing on Baby steps … - but we need the culmination of Alice’s story this week. We have a new nurse in training, a possibly resigning midwife settling in Ambridge, Xander, Martha, Alice somewhere trying to find her feet sans grog, Shula trying to find her saintly feet sans Neil …B(ill)eth & Ben. Lots and lots of newness. Stir in Three’s blood and jam …

The blood and jam made me laugh. A lot. Just as well, as the storyline that line inspired is pants.

Over to you!

I was shouting “NO! Stop it!” at the radio! It was continued abuse.

Unfortunately Jazzer does not have the emotional intelligence to realise he should have waited til away from the already-freaked-out Blake before shouting at Martin.

I hate Martin anyway.

Listening again now. Martin is a bastard.

Martin is a bastard. Yes. I'm hearing to the tune of a one-hit wonder from 1978 (Jilted John, aka Graham Fellows, now better known for John Shuttleworth).

Good for Jazzer.

How very typical of Kenton. His sister confides in him and he immediately turns it round so it's me me me. I did like Shula's line about not being able to furlough the horses.

However, Justin's mooted plans to knock the stables down and replace it with whatever Lilian said (had glazed over by that time) is ludicrous. Just tell him no, Lilian! Put your own money in and forget Justin's.

The Justin and Lilian finances are a total mystery. Do they have squillions to spend or not?

Why don’t they do something useful with it, like offer to help Alice with her rehab? (Though before anyone says anything I think it’s best that Alice pays for it herself in terms of her recovery).

I must say I much preferred Lilian before she became informally shackled to this monstrous caricature. And all that complication a while ago with him wanting Damara to take over her property business means I have no idea how financially independent she is now.

It’s utterly, utterly ridiculous for Lilian and Shula to have spent even one second quivering in fear over What Justin Wants To Do With The Stables. Shula’s business has fuck all to do with him. And it is inconceivable that after all these years of building up a wealthy client list, Shula has no one else to turn to and no other option for funding.

As predicted, all stories involving Justin and Lillian’s magic money tree are tedious. Do we really believe The Stables is on the brink? Does anyone care when Shula is training to be a vicar? I’d almost forgotten Lillian had money in the pub - all hers and Justin’s projects seem so vague, randomly shapeshifting and drifting in and out of the storyline. I’d much rather hear about real problems being faced by farmers in Ambridge, but as the agricultural story editor goes off into the sunset I suppose I’ll have to go whistle. Never mind - we can look forward to Bleak’s efforts to clear Philip and Gavin

Edmontina - what a cross-post, down to the second. I should have waited - you put it so much better.

Likewise!

I must say I much preferred Lilian before she became informally shackled to this monstrous caricature

Well she was pretty unpleasant when she was informally shackled to the embezzler. She's just horrible.

At least Tiger was consistently portrayed as a rough diamond - the SWs did go a bit OTT in the end with his roughness, but the foundations were there. Justin has gone from all-powerful, ruthless megalomaniac, to amiable, slightly bumbling country gent and back again depending what twist the SWs decide to take. There's no consistency - they can't really decide what he is, so he swings back and forth in an entirely unconvincing way taking Lillian with him down whatever random plot rabbit hole the SWs have decided this week. I can't get too invested in any of it because he has no real character or hinterland so it just feels as if I'm listening to a soap opera rather than eavesdropping on real life (and yes I know its not real, but I wouldn't be hanging around here if I didn't at least like to pretend it is).

Lilian likes rich men with dubious business ethics. And she abuses her family by demanding their trust and pretending she will look after them when actually Justin is using her to give him access to the family assets.

Matt also used Lilian for cover.

As an ex-journalist I get annoyed when TA tries to bring the Borsetshire Echo into the plot. They always get the details wrong. All very implausible.

Are we supposed to think that a news story is going to lead the evil gangmasters back to cause trouble for Blake; or the different type of white-collar abuse from Martin whatsisname?

Once again, just what was it about the barn Justin sold that it leaves him with enough money to knock down the stables and build state-of-the-art top class equestrian facilities? Surely that would cost at least in the six figure area. Was the barn made out of gold?

It seems utterly ludicrous that Kenton would instantly assume that the only way Lillian and Justin can invest in the stables is by withdrawing their money from the Bull. The trouble is, it's so ludicrous that I'm wondering whether the SWs introduced it partly because that is exactly what they're planning for this plotline.

Have the Editors missed out a month's worth of episodes?

Poor Bleak has only been at Berrow for, what, a day?

Justin has ignore the possibility of planning objections to design an upmarket riding facility over a weekend.

How come Adam, Amy and (possibly) Stella and Alice just jack in their jobs without notice periods.

Thank goodness we only have 5, not 6, episodes to endure.

Alice hasn't jacked in her job, has she? Officially she's on mat leave.

@EBearhug

Alice hasn't jacked in her job, has she? Officially she's on mat leave.

I was referring to the farm tech job she might/might not have been sacked from before Brian made her stand in for Adam at Home Farm. I seem to remember that they tweaked things just enough to enable Alice to qualify for maternity pay from Home Farm.

It's a shame that she had to be the one with the drinking problem, not Christopher, because automated Farm machinery is probably getting quite interesting.

Alice had been at Home Farm for about three days longer than six months when she started her maternity leave, with a two-week holiday in "Bath" in the middle of it. How long would she get paid for after the baby was born, in the ordinary way?

Martha was born on 9th March 2021, so Alice will now have been being paid for not working at Home Farm for longer than she was being paid for working there.

Intern (for it is she) - oh! Hello, I wasn’t expecting a call today.
SW1 - no, you called me.
Intern - no, I just answered your Teams call. Did you click on my name by mistake again?
SW1 - I clicked on your name to send a text, that’s what the phone symbol is for isn’t it?
Intern - no, we’ve been through this before. I see you have the other writers on her too so I do have a couple of points to raise.
SW1 - where did they come from…all right fire away with your queries, though I must say I would think you know what goes on here well enough by now to do your job.
Intern - I do know what goes on but I need to know what I should say about what goes on on social media.
SW1 - I’m not sure I follow
Intern - well, for example someone just asked on Twitter whether the Archers has a psychological consultant. What should I reply.
SW2 - why would we need that? The role of the scriptwriter is to enter the mind of a character and portray what they see from that perspective.
SW1,3,5,6 and 7 - gasps of admiration, general muttering of agreement.
Intern- I see, why don’t I just say that we consult with a range of sources in all our stories?
SW4 - I just look around me at how people behave to help me write the characters.
Intern - don’t you live in Fulham? How does that help you with Eddie Grundy.
SW4 - people are people, we all drink espresso in the same way.
Intern - also, Mumsnet is enraged that it seems nobody remembers that Lillian used to own the stables. And they have spotted that you are using a computer generated voice for Amy. They’re not impressed.
SW1 - I think you might have missed the meeting where we decided that all history is bunk. And once all the characters are computer generated Amy will sound fine. Nobody complains about Adam now and he’s been a computer for ages, on the highest tiredness setting.

Apologies for the terrible punctuation, difficult when transcribing from a bootleg recording of a Teams call.

Peak JD tonight

“It’s degrading!”

“Darling you’re meant for more than this!”

Haven't posted here for quite a few threads, but JD tonight was boiling my blood. The woman whose peak career ambition for many decades has been to outdo her previous achievements in piemaking for her husband's colleagues after a hunt has the cheek to lecture someone on taking a job that's beneath them!

JD was boiling my blood too. She should remember that Darling Adam and Dear Ian were perfectly happy to use a degraded picker, a furrin one as that, as incubator for their little lifestyle accessory. Ugh. (And I still haven't forgotten or forgiven the nasty little boys' club set-up with the male midwife too: what a pity they had to have the messy inconvenience of an Actual Woman present at all. And the pointless skin-to-skin. Spewk. TASWAMA indeed.)
And yes, of course it had to have been Brian's fault. If she can't be loyal then she should have left him when she had cause, bit no: bum far too firmly embedded in best butter for that, eh, Jennifer?

💛💛💛💛 the intern, Chemenger.

Jolly good chemenger .

I enjoyed hearing Stella getting on so well with Ruth. Hopefully this means she's here to stay.