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🌱 Archers thread #131: A time to plant, a time to reap. Discuss The Archers here.

994 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 15/09/2021 12:15

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

Archers All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you also have a few millions lying around you're not sure how to invest, or other unusual things. Grin

Archers Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the week night episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

Archers For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Roysnewshirt and @Edmontine for title suggestions, and apologies to anyone I’ve missed or forgotten. In the end, inspired by Edmontine's idea and a brief discussion at the end of the last thread, I remembered that it's autumn now and the Ambridge farmers are presumably sowing barley, winter wheat, potatoes etc, so I found myself recollecting Ecclesiastes 3 (King James version) - my Church of Scotland upbringing has a lot to answer for. This led me back to one of my favourite numbers by The Byrds (written by Pete Seeger):

Roysnewshirt suggested Prayer cards, rehab, a glass of scotch, a bowl of chilli or even a dish of lasagne…we offer a range of solutions here to help you solve any Ambridge problem - large or small etc etc, which is as good a point as any to start this thread. Do we think Neil and Susan are solid again? Will Alice relapse? Will Shula confess all to the Bishop?

Reflecting on last night's offering, Edmontine said I’m musing on Baby steps … - but we need the culmination of Alice’s story this week. We have a new nurse in training, a possibly resigning midwife settling in Ambridge, Xander, Martha, Alice somewhere trying to find her feet sans grog, Shula trying to find her saintly feet sans Neil …B(ill)eth & Ben. Lots and lots of newness. Stir in Three’s blood and jam …

The blood and jam made me laugh. A lot. Just as well, as the storyline that line inspired is pants.

Over to you!

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 08:07

When I have coffee, I want it to taste strongly of coffee and nothing else except a judicious amount of cow's milk. Baffled by the trend for adulterating it with other things, but de gustibus non est disputandum, as the Prof would say.

Poor Blake. I am a soft-hearted person and I am worried about what's been happening to him in the last few months. Has he fully recovered from his injuries at Grey Gables?

Stella has the measure of Brian. I can't bear to think of TA without Brian, but unless Charles Collingwood is going to do a June Spencer, I suppose it has to come. Sad

If I had to rank every biscuit I've ever eaten in order of preference, custard creams would be low on the list, but still above the so called Nice biscuits, malted milk and those vile shortcake biscuits that are nothing like proper shortbread. Equal ranking with Bourbons, perhaps. I quite like a Rich Tea on occasion, but Petit Beurre are better, especially if they have a lovely thick layer of good chocolate added, i.e. dark Choco Leibniz, my favourite biscuit of all time.

I saw a good recipe for making custard creams early in lockdown but never got round to trying it out. I copied it but didn't make a note of the source, so apologies to whoever wrote this that I can't credit you. I also can't vouch for the recipe but it sounded as it it would work.
***
Custard creams (make dough the day before baking, also ganache if using)

Biscuits: 250g French salted butter, at room temperature; 75g Icing sugar, sifted; 25g Caster sugar; 1 teaspoon of vanilla bean paste; 100g Custard powder; 225g of plain flour.

Filling: either a buttercream: 125g French salted butter, 50g Icing Sugar, 50g Custard powder, half a teaspoon of vanilla paste; or a ganache (make it the day before so it can set): 100ml double cream, 150g white chocolate, half a teaspoon of vanilla.

Beat the butter and both sugars, with the vanilla until soft, pale and fluffy. Then beat it a bit more - the butter mixture needs to be really soft for this one. (French butter has a higher butterfat content than other butters, so it is creamier, but any butter will do!). Add the custard powder and beat well until it is all mixed well, and a pale shade of Naples yellow. Slowly add the flour until your dough is firm - you need a firm dough that doesn't stick to your hands or the bowl. Roll out the dough to about 4mm , so reasonably thin (bear in mind that your biscuits will be double, so a smaller cookie cutter works best). Carefully lift your cut out biscuits onto a tray lined with parchment, and pop them in the fridge to chill, preferably overnight. The firm and chilled dough helps the biscuit hold its shape when the butter melts in the oven.

When you're ready to bake, preheat the oven to Gas Mark 2 / 150 degrees or 130 for a fan oven. Put one tray at a time into the oven. I bake mine for 6 minutes and then turn the tray and bake for another 5, until they start to go a deeper shade of Naples yellow.

Let them cool in their tray for a few minutes - new-born biscuits are very soft and fragile. Carefully put your biccies onto a rack and let them cool completely.

If you want to make the buttercream filling, which is the easiest by far, you literally just pop all the ingredients into a bowl and beat them together until nice and fluffy.

Ganache (harder, needs to be done the day before): heat the cream and vanilla paste until it is boiling. Meanwhile chop the chocolate into tiny bits and tip it into a bowl. When you make chocolates you don't melt the chocolate, you let the hot cream do that. Take the cream off the heat when boiled and slllloooowwwly pour it onto the chopped chocolate, stirring carefully to melt the chocolate. Chocolate melts at a very low temperature. Cocoa butter melts below body temperature - which is why cocoa butter feels cool on your skin. Anyway, a good White chocolate is basically just cocoa butter, vanilla and sugar, so it will melt fast.
Keep stirring until it is not at all lumpy, and leave it to set. Put it in the fridge for a few hours or overnight. When it is set, you can whip it into a cloud of fluffy vanilla.

Put a blob of your chosen filling into one biscuit and then squish another one on top. Dust them with icing sugar to make them look pretty.
**

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Roysnewshirt · 27/09/2021 08:07

Neither Helen nor Lee strike me as likely to be custard cream fans

There is no way Helen would have custard creams in the house. They are on the same level as pink wafer biscuits and malted milk and suitable only for church coffee mornings.

I am sure Bridge Fresh sells a selection of delicious cookies baked locally in Felpersham which Helen regularly brings home for the boys and Lee. When Helen is having a bad day I expect she enjoys a corner of a Brownie (not a whole one). Lee probably likes a Kit-Kat (chunky). Kirsty, of course, prefers a Tracker bar or a nice dry flapjack.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 08:10

[quote Travelledtheworld]@CaptainMyCaptain the whole point of Custard Creams, Rich Tea and Dogestives is that you DUNK them ![/quote]
Harrumph. My husband is a dunker, I am not. In nearly 40 years of marriage I've not yet reconciled myself to it, but fortunately for him he has many other sterling qualities.

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 08:13

Pink wafer biscuits - shudder. My mum always has a selection of biscuits in a tin and I think she used to buy a mixed biscuit selection. The pink wafers were always the last to go. I imagine polystyrene would have a similar texture and taste.

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 08:20

I'm on a roll here now thinking about biscuits. What is the point of those horrible dry flapjacks that fall apart when you try to eat them? On the rare occasion I make flapjacks* I use SoupDragon's recipe which I came across in my early days on MN. The genius of that is it uses condensed milk along with butter, golden syrup and oats. It is divine. It's so pointless trying to make cake and biscuits into something healthy. The whole point of them is to be sweet and delicious. If you don't want to eat a high-calorie sweet thing go and eat something else, don't mess about with lo-cal versions and try to pretend they're just as good as the real thing!

I can believe Helen keeps custard creams in the house. The boys will pester her for a 'treat' and she will dole out one custard cream a week. They won't enjoy it much and she will believe she's training them not to associate sweet food with rewards. Unfortunately for her they spend time at Bridge Farm and at their friends' houses and they also watch TV, so they will know there are much nicer biscuits etc around.

*Rare because once I start eating them it's difficult to stop, with disastrous results for my already oversized waistline.

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CaptainMyCaptain · 27/09/2021 08:29

Nice biscuits, malted milk and those vile shortcake biscuits that are nothing like proper shortbread
Also helpful for morning sickness. Anything nice and tasty made me sick for the whole 9 months.

Chemenger · 27/09/2021 09:21

Anything is better than a bourbon biscuit. I quite like Nice biscuits and custard creams. But it's already been shown that my taste is dubious. For flavoured coffee, I like pumpkin spice (hit of cinnamon) and ginger. I seldom have them because they are inevitably too sweet.

ILoveShula · 27/09/2021 09:25

I'm not a biscuit or flapjack fan. Scottish oatcakes are great.
The vulpine biscuits with cream in the middle are nice, as is shortbread,and any M&S biscuits.tend to be tasty.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 09:33

Took me a moment, but I think I know what you mean by vulpine biscuits! Grin I love shortbread. Has to be made with butter.

Oatcakes are wonderful, but I'd group them with crackers and crispbread rather than biscuits. Nairn's oat biscuits are very good.

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Roysnewshirt · 27/09/2021 10:21

I think Lee would enjoy a Jammy Dodger too. Chris is bound to lubba-Club (mint)…

ILoveShula · 27/09/2021 10:34

Grin. Didn't want to advertise the addictive and fattening products. I demolished a whole pack in one sitting once.
M&S is worth advertising. Waitrose biscuits tend to be good too.

WorriedWishingWell · 27/09/2021 10:41

I used to like a biscuit called, I think, Cafe Noir - basically an oblong shaped iced party ring for adults, but with a crispy biscuit base. Now when I can find them the base is softer/more like shortbread, not nearly as nice as previously.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/09/2021 10:55

[quote Travelledtheworld]@CaptainMyCaptain the whole point of Custard Creams, Rich Tea and Dogestives is that you DUNK them ![/quote]
But when I was pregnant the tea or coffee would have made me sick. It had to be dry biscuits.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 27/09/2021 11:36

Roysnewshirt
There is no way Helen would have custard creams in the house. They are on the same level as pink wafer biscuits and malted milk and suitable only for church coffee mornings.

Helen has children. Perhaps the custard creams are for them, and she and Lee don't eat biscuits at all. -- She wouldn't, and he is probably on some special fitness diet.

WorriedWishingWell, I suspect that Cafe Noir biscuits may still be the right texture in France, and it's only the McVitie's ones that are now soggy. Also smaller, unless I have seriously forgotten the proper ones.

theThreeofWeevils · 27/09/2021 12:16

"The Archers: less interesting than the duller sort of biscuit"

R4 · 27/09/2021 12:19

The fact that this thread is floundering about, discussing anything-but-TA speaks volumes. I feel that it is time to plop this on you:

I’m not especially keen on Drama. I used to like TA because it wasn’t Drama and, despite being a soap, wasn’t too soap-like. It was the fairly believable “everyday story of country folk”.
I don’t want to carp on about what cobblers TA is nowadays because we have all aired the problems far too many times and, besides, I don’t want to spoil your enjoyment but I’ve had enough. After a particularly cringe-inducing nadir I thought: if I met a new friend now would I tell them that I was an Archer’s fan? How embarrassed would I feel if they tried it and came back saying “what on earth was that codswallop; are you on glue?”
I’ve been listening to TA for over 40 years but I can’t take it any more, it’s not the programme it was. I didn’t sign up for a “contemporary drama in a rural setting”. I have desperately hung on since the departure of Phil and Nigel but, for me, the heart has gone. Tim Bentinck hasn’t taken on the mantle; he has been asleep on his watch.

I have been not-listening for about a month. The first episodes that I missed have now fallen off catch-up so I will never have the chance to hear them and I find that can live with that. I think that I can say that I am cured.

Thanks all for keeping me entertained over the years but I have reached a place where I feel I have to say, "so long and thanks for all the fish".

R4 · 27/09/2021 12:20

@theThreeofWeevils

"The Archers: less interesting than the duller sort of biscuit"
Similar sentiment but more concise!
EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues · 27/09/2021 12:22

R4 … !

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/09/2021 12:36

@theThreeofWeevils

"The Archers: less interesting than the duller sort of biscuit"
Brilliant!
FoxgloveSummers · 27/09/2021 12:50

R4 starting our very own Flouncer’s Cider Shed Sad sorry to see you go

ILoveShula · 27/09/2021 13:12

Don't go R4!

I don't think it is TB's fault, it's the Editor's.

It doesn't help IMO that Pip is so unlikeable, Josh is unremarkable, and we like Ben but he's going to be a nurse. The rising generation at Fridge Farm was handled better

BlueCowWonders · 27/09/2021 13:17

But R4, surely you'll stay on the thread?

I had an Archers pause over the summer. I came back but don't always listen and now don't bother to catch up on any episodes I've missed.

But occasionally there's something that grabs me and Stella's 'succession planning' was just such a moment.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/09/2021 13:18

R4, are you saying you've haddock enough?

Sad We will miss you. You're bound to hear the odd snippet. You can't avoid it if you ever switch R4 on, after all.

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R4 · 27/09/2021 14:00

You are all luffley and have made exactly the right sort of "don't go" noises.Grin

I'm studiously avoiding TA but sneak a peek here, although I'm afraid to say that what you have been moaning about posting hasn't given me cause/pause to re-evaluate my decision in the slightest!

Madcats · 27/09/2021 15:00

Don't go, R4.

Listening to and then complaining about the Archers is a useful anger management tool. Lee Bryce take note (it's a tad unusual for martial arts teachers to want to beat people up, isn't it?)!

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