🧱 Archers thread #128: Alice lobs a brick, Emma hurls brickbats, Neil is a brick. Cement your relationship with The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you collect superhero figures, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Apologies for not using any of the suggestions offered for this thread's title. I'll paste them in here instead to get us started.

I like the leeway pun here from @ThePawtriarchy: Bacon, Bores and Booze. Elizabeth needs convincing, Helen needs some leeway and Alice is in crisis.

@nettie434 gets to the nub of what's been happening recently: Beechwood, Batman and Booze: Rex's pigs and Helen and Lee have new homes but will Lee's collection of action figures plant the apple of discord in their sylvan idyll? Alice's alcohol problems continue to cause friction between the Aldridges and Carters. Has anyone warned Borsetshire Children's Services what awaits them?

Great one liner from @PseudoBadger - ‘Nobody puts Captain America in the corner’.

And a timely bit of advice from @JanFebAnyMonth: If this evening’s episode has raised any issues for you, please call the BBC Helpline post on this MN thread for details of organisations which might help you.

So, off we go again! We may get back to five episodes a week before the next thread. Here's hoping that it's Friday we get back, not Sunday.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee ...

Not.

Nooo....

Ffs, that was dire. Ultima Shule.
Kee-ruh falling off and breaking her nasty Grundy neck would put a stop to all this inexplicable guffawing. Who must I bribe?

When did we last say that was the worst episode ever?

That was dire.

Prior to Alistair observation I was thinking no, not an affair. Susan and the Neil have an incredibly strong marriage. Hope they don't break that down just due to the Martha hiccup.

Although nice perspicacity and tact by Justin.

Oh dear. I think that I will be switching off if Shula and Neil become a thing.

We are not amused.

Hopefully, Susan will get wind and murder Shula.

How did Alistair know about Neil fancying Shula (and her not fancying him back) at least ten years, probably fifteen, before Alistair had ever heard of Ambridge?

@BeardieWeirdie

I’m not very happy at Smugula and Neil having all these cosy chats and now exchanging gardening/horsey favours. We all know what Ms I’m-A-Massive-Christian-Bore-Until-It-Comes-To-Someone-Else’s-Husband is like.

The phrase “laying it on with a trowel” comes to mind. I was quite enjoying the possibilities with the giggliness and remembering that Neil and Susan don’t see eye to eye over Alice. I really didn’t need alistair to come in and say “Shula, you look as if you’re having an affair …. Listeners, did you take that in?”

I cannot imagine any circs in which a sane woman could fancy Neil We’re talking Shula here. Does she come under your definition of a sane woman?

You make a very fair point, MereDint.

Hopefully, Susan will get wind

Oh no, Bore, spare us. Don't think I can take more 'hilarity'.

The script writers really can't do light hearted can they?

The only one that I can which worked was Caroline and Ian with Will and Nic's dropped wedding cake.

Oh ffs! They really do test us to the limit! So tedious. And I can’t believe they have gone for a French farce vibe so soon after Alastair was caught out having a shower in Beechwood by Gavin.

It’s been a terrible week what with taxi wars, Adam’s angst and now Shula being accused of f-lirting….

You careful spotters were right on Neil and Shula! Criiiiinge fake laughter.

“Nasty Grundy neck”, @theThreeofWeevils? 🤨

The awful forced laughter was excruciating.

@RandomCatGenerator

“Nasty Grundy neck”, *@theThreeofWeevils*? 🤨

Weevils couldn't very well have said "brass neck" -- the Grundys don't have any brass.

Why did they have to ruin it?

Six year olds could have done better.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

How did Alistair know about Neil fancying Shula (and her not fancying him back) at least ten years, probably fifteen, before Alistair had ever heard of Ambridge?

I was wondering the same thing.

They're just good friends!
She'll be off the ordination course if it goes further.

I'm waiting now for Emma to get wind of it...

Shula and Neil have been friends for over forty years; I think one of them even said that in so many words quite recently -- when Neil was giving up his role as a parish councillor or whatever it was he gave up in a fit of self-abnegation. Who does this Alistair-come-lately think he is to utter his foul aspersions on that?

@RandomCatGenerator

“Nasty Grundy neck”, *@theThreeofWeevils*? 🤨

You think there's a nice Grundy neck? Oh, and Kee-ruh is definitely a Grundy; her dam is even sure which of the brothers sired her. Legitimate First: 'nothing wrong with a mother being proud' (might not be an exact quotation)

We don't hear enough gossip in Ambridge (except when Susan's in the shop) but I can well believe Alistair has heard on the grapevine that Neil was always thought to be sweet on Shula in the dim and distant days when he worked at Brookfield on first arriving in Ambridge. He was in Ambridge for ten years before pairing off with Susan, after all.

The Archers Encyclopaedia (compiled by Joanna Toye and Adrian Flynn) says: 'The great, unrequited love of his life was Shula Archer, who would occasionally go out with him if there was no one else around, but could only think of him as a friend.'

The Book of the Archers (by Patricia Greene, Charles Collingwood and Hedli Niklaus) says: 'But Shula Archer broke his young heart. He drove a tractor into a tree once while he was waving and grinning at her. Jethro* laughed when Neil spilled slurry down a new anorak he'd worn to impress her. Shula gently explained many times that they could only be friends, and, painfully, after years of trying, he accepted the situation. They still went to dances together, when other partners let them down, and they have over the years become firm friends.'

*Jethro Larkin, Clarrie's dad, long-term yokel at Brookfield before Bert Fry. David Archer killed him by carelessly lopping off a branch which fell on Jethro's head. Amazingly, Clarrie bears no malice.

Oh yes, and obviously I agree with everyone else - that was painful listening. We're either in for a horrific short to medium term storyline where Susan becomes convinced Shula and Neil are having an affair or an even worse longer-term one where they actually do. Either way, I hope Susan brings up Shula's past misdeeds in a very public place. It would help a little.