🎄Archers thread #122: Deck the Hall with Eddie, Freddie 🎵 'Tis the Season to be jolly (but orange juice for you, Alice)

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you love Bert Fry’s poetry (as I do), or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3853783--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-5-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @C8H10N4O2 for requesting an annoyingly cheerful thread title which might take us up to Christmas and to @Prestissimo for the title suggestion. I was strongly tempted by @LillianGish’s suggestion: Eddie’s turkeys, Freddie’s show, village green with lights aglow, Stir Up Sunday, Deck the Hall, Merry Christmas one and all - with apologies to Bert Fry and @R4’s suggestion Wassail to the Ambridge Not-A-Panto where Freddie gets nine LESSONS in directing from CAROLe Lynda. Top work, all!

Three days to go until we can return to Ambridge.

My list for Father Christmas

In the next few weeks I’d like:

• Freddie’s show to be a huge success

• Philip and Gavin to be driven out of the village with pitchforks into the waiting arms of the police, and the three ‘horses’ rescued and taken in by kind people who will help them turn their lives around

• Pip to take a perpetual vow of silence and leave for a nunnery

• a terrific Grundy Christmas (although the travails of Alice and Chris will overshadow things)

• Alice to lose the baby, as this seems the least grim option for us listeners; she leaves Chris and makes a fresh start of some kind

What do you all want for Christmas from The Archers?

Debbie was a christmas baby, wasn't she?

Prestissimo
I suppose her [Jill's] big concession recently was giving up the chickens...

I thought that she tried to when they were almost all killed by a fox, but David refused to allow it and forced Josh to buy her a whole new lot in spite of her not particularly wanting them.

MadameButterface, the Siobhán thing came out on 15th December, 2002, and Debbie made sure that it was fanned into flame regularly over Christmas that year by having constant rows with Brian, which Jennifer really could have done without.

MUM, Debbie was born on 24th December 1970.

Thanks Ask.
Soap babies are often born on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve.
Soap weddings are usually on Boxing Day or at Easter.

Soap babies are often born on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve

We’ll probably have a Christmas miscarriage this year...

Let's hope so. The Chrysalis Dedded on Christmas Eve.

Oh no, that would be horrible.☹️ Detox is physically hard, isn’t it, so it could happen over the next couple of weeks. Still awful, but not quite as bad.

Or maybe both Alice and the Chrysalis dedded...but then she’d be sanctified by the entire village ( except Emma) and we’d never hear the end of it.

Weddings in The Archers include Peggy and Jack (1st January 1991), Shula and Alistair (23rd December, 1999) and Nic and Will (1st January, 2012). I can't recall one on Boxing Day or at Easter, this century.

Of the "main" families:
Jennifer and Roger, 27th September
Jennifer and Brian, 29th May
Adam and Ian, 14th December
Debbie and Simon, 12th May, 2000
Kate and Lucas, 12th April, 2001
Alice and Christopher, some time in July
Doris and Dan, 17th December, 1921
Peggy and Jack Archer, 17th July, 1943
Grace and Phil, 11th April, 1955
Jill and Phil, 16th November, 1957
Christine and Paul, 15th December, 1957
Christine and George, 1 March, 1979
Shula and Mark, 21st September, 1985
Mel and Kenton, goodness only knows: he didn't bother to tell anyone at the time
Jolene and Kenton, 1st November, 2013
Ruth and David, 15th December, 1988
Elizabeth and Nigel, 29th September, 1994
Pat and Tony, 12th December, 1974
Helen and Rob, some time in July, 2015
Kirsty and Tom unwedding, 24th April, 2014

I'm bored with this...

There's a bit of a bulge before Christmas, and I cba to see when Easter was in the years with March and April weddings... Perhaps that's been cursed ever since Grace insisted on getting married on Easter Monday.

Presumably you do, you boil jam. You boil jam to get rid of all the excess water in the fresh fruit. Mincemeat starts with dried fruit so doesn't have a lot of excess water.

Also, the purpose of jam is to preserve fruit (it's less error prone than bottling it) so you expect it to last at least a year. Most people don't expect mincemeat to last more than 2-3 months.

My mother used to make pudding, mincemeat and cake all on the same day. Big overlap in the ingredients. You put apple only in the mincemeat, you leave suet out of the cake and add flour and eggs, but as far as the various dried fruits go, it's just a matter of emptying bags into all three of the mixtures.

Farm weddings are often winter, because it's a comparatively quiet time of year. My parents were December.

I buy readymade mincemeat then pimp it up with grated apple, extra booze and lemon zest.

But I always make my own (shortcrust) pastry, usually add some ground almonds for nice crumbly texture.

And I also top with a star for a better pastry/mince ratio.

I have shop bought mincemeat in the cupboard waiting for me to make some pastry. My favourite type have a frangipani topping instead of a pastry lid. I have made mincemeat in the past and Christmas pudding but just do the cake myself since having DC and being back at work.

My favourite type have a frangipani topping instead of a pastry lid

These sound amazing @Taswama! Good Housekeeping has a recipe for them! Am definitely going to give them a try this year...They are just the kind that Jenny would serve- a classic with a twist; Jill’s will be full-on traditional - shortcrust with a heavy wash of egg and a sprinkle of sugar; Pat’s will be similar to Jill’s; Ian might do filo mincemeat parcels; Kirsty might do a pastry star on top as she knows how Philip likes things to be extra-festive; any thoughts on what style of mince pie Susan might make this year?

Of course Lynda will trump them all with her Buche de Noel!

Jazzer's mince pies:
Packet of ASDA's discount ones plus a generous nip of whiskey: job's a good'un!

Ah, her famed "Buche de Noël, (tinkly laugh)"!

Oh I forgot about the joys of Kate’s version with wholewheat pastry and vegan suet...

Caught up now. Re Jill's mince pie making - cutting the peel to suit the taste of your boyfriend? That must be a sign of true love!

My frangipani mince pies are a Nigella recipe, one of three in her Domestic Goddess book. I've just made the pastry from a different sort and its chilling in the fridge. I will make some normal ones as well so DS2 can take them to school so couldn't make the pastry with ground almonds in.

bloody hell.

Just tried to order mincemeat from Ocado and they've sold out already. Might end up making my own after all.

In the meantime I'm planning to make my own granola ...

cutting the peel to suit the taste of your boyfriend? That must be a sign of true love!

One can hope that Leonard of the creepy, sparkly dentures chokes on the slightly more coarsely cut peel and ceases to have opinions on anything. The short-term anguished hooting would almost - almost - be worth it.

I doubt there would be any shortage of commentators to tell Jill she shouldn't blame herself.

any thoughts on what style of mince pie Susan might make this year?
Lots and lots of brandy

I've made mincemeat for the first time this year, was pretty easy. Just lots of chopping and measuring, and tastes amazing! Might even brave making the pastry...

Ooooh ... Is it going to be Roman's Truth & Lies game that somehow exposes Alice? Tracy is so keen to outdo her sister in fresh gossip. (And it's such a pointless story by itself.)

Delia cooks mincemeat But then she's intending to keep it a year. If my mincemeat has all gone into pies within 4 weeks max of making it, I can't see the point of a separate cooking.

@UntamedWisteria you should hop over to the "angry with Ocado" thread that's been running since the "little vans of dismay" appeared in March.
It's listed under "coronavirus". I think a few people have ranted about unavailability of Christmas comestibles.

I Listened again this morning. It struck me the Gavin spent all day playing on an Xbox when he first split with his fiancee; why didn't he loan that to Blake?

I'm not sure I'll be able to cope with Roman's rehearsals for another month, though I am sure they wouldn't have bothered to mention that Alice was going to be in the show unless something "shocking" happens.

If I were picky I'd observe that Bath Airbnbs are normally booked up for months at this time of year ("thanks" to the Christmas market).

How can "taxi-driving hobby farmer" Rex afford the rent on a fair sized house/outbuildings/farmland? Will Pip go too (secretly hoping the farm is the other side of the county)?

I wasn't clear on whether the story was that 'Charlotte' owned the flat and was letting Alice use it as a favour, or whether she had booked the holiday (months ago?) and only lately invited Alice to join her there. Not that it matters ...

I imagine Bert is charging Rex about 12 and a half pence a week as rent, so if he's had steady work as a taxi driver (?) he may actually have saved a bit of money recently. (Though he's always pleading poverty.) Hard to tell if Neil was making an informed assumption about Rex's finances or if we should just be waiting for the Ambridge Fairy (aka Toby's Scruff Gin profit) to leap into action.