🧚‍♀️ Archers thread #120: Magic time. Dialogue! Good Fairy Lilian made Lynda’s wish come true. Will Phil vanish in a puff of smoke? Join the Magic Circle in Alice’s shed, where time is never called!

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think we should hear more about the Naughty Milkman, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3853783--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-5-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Roysnewshirt for the excellent title suggestion, which I tweaked a bit.

I wonder how much dialogue we're going to get in the coming weeks. They're back to normal recording, I believe, albeit socially distanced. Also, when will we get our Friday and Sunday episodes back? I know I'm not the only regular to miss TA a lot more on Friday than on Sunday. The Sunday episode is still an incomer, of course, having only been introduced some 20 years ago, of course.

(My parents retired to a village and some features of Ambridge life are very familiar from their experience, the 'incomer' label being one.)

I hope she ends up with the house, though, or at least the proceeds from selling it
But they never married, though. He encouraged her to go for some low-paid job so she's probably not on the mortgage nor the deeds.

Well my jaw was on the floor for at least 7 minutes of the walk home from school this morning! Those messages (please let them be messages, I assumed they were) If she isn’t dead in a ditch she will soon wish she was!!!!

Philip really is a nasty nasty piece of work isn’t he? I can see him becoming dangerous to people in the village who get close to outing him. It’s some serious organised crime keeping slaves. And where do they “move them on” to? Sounds ominous.

Oh I hate to think of poor Alice in a ditch. She is so vulnerable. Anything could happen to her. It’s one of the most upsetting scenes I have heard for a long time.

Comfort yourself: she wasn't in a ditch. She was in clear sight on the side of the road, so even if Gavin does as he has been told by Philip and buggers off sharpish, whoever is in the next car that comes along will see her.

It is stupid for him to think about hit-and-run when she isn't on the road, hasn't been hit by a car, and stinks of wine.

In fact not even the side of the road: on the verge. And it's a country road, so she will be on a patch of grass, and we don't have poison ivy in this country so the worst she has probably suffered would be nettle-rash.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

In fact not even the side of the road: on the verge. And it's a country road, so she will be on a patch of grass, and we don't have poison ivy in this country so the worst she has probably suffered would be nettle-rash.

But it’s FREEZING!! In August......

September, so fractionally more sensible.

It doesn't entirely make sense, though. First of all we have a hospital which has outpatient appointments which are meant to be for four o'clock and the patient is not out until after "overnight roadworks" have started (which round here would be after ten at night) and then we have someone taking a diversion off a main road between two towns through a village which is not even slightly between the two towns.

Oh yeah, why am I still mentally in August?! I blame the silly warm weather.

Chris’ messages suggest it’s gone 9pm. Gavin said they were delayed at the hospital but I don’t believe they would have been that long, unless the drive thru dinner had a real long queue!

It's the Ambridge microclimate. It was balmy here.

Just found this thread, happy days. I'm so hoping that Emmur gets those messages and plays them to Chris and her parents. It's about time they learn what Alice really thinks of their family. Frankly she can spend all night there for all I care, just the sound of her snooty, stroppy, over-privileged voice is like nails down a chalkboard to me. Freezing - yeah right - only in the Ambridge micro climate. She'll be fine there overnight.

Admittedly I have been listening to the Archers for decades, but the residents do seem to have a lot of vehicle accidents.
Emma (as a passenger?)
Mark Hebden Lloyd (deaded)
Eccles (flattened)
John Archer (crushed to death by his tractor)
Adam (partially flattened by his car)
Matt (hit and run, courtesy of Nic)
Didn't Helen get into trouble/ make Tom get into trouble too?

Well the Scriptwriters know how to reel us back in, don't they!

Frankly she can spend all night there for all I care

Huge welcome to @ThePluckOfTheCoward! I’m a newcomer too and think you will have a lot of fun on here! The old-timers are very welcoming!

However, I can’t agree with you and others that Alice will be just fine overnight on the verge! LITERALLY ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN! Thankfully Gavin doesn’t appear to be a rapist but the next driver on the road might be and think that a passed out young woman presented an opportunity. Alternatively someone else might see a hedgehog on the road and swerve to miss it and hit Alice instead. I hope someone kind finds her. May be Tony or Johnny.

I don’t care about the drunk dialling. We all make mistakes and Emma is super-irritating...

Yes, Helen drove under the influence and knocked over Roy Tucker's Dad, Mike, whose leg was hurt. She cajoled Tom, who hadn't been drinking, into saying he was driving as she would have failed a breathalyser.

I live in inner London where driving standards can be very poor, but the roads are often so busy that nobody can get up much speed. My impression is that it's different in the country and some country residents drive incredibly fast on narrow, winding roads with poor road surfaces and visibility. Am I right?

Yes you are Gaspode.
Philip. Kirsty doesn’t deserve this.

Admittedly I have been listening to the Archers for decades, but the residents do seem to have a lot of vehicle accidents.

Between me and one sibling we have:
Woken up in a hospital bed after a car accident. (passenger)
Broken a pelvis from being run over by own car.
Driven into the back of another car.
2 no fault accidents, and 2 no fault scrapes.
Overturned a car resulting in passenger broken wrist.
and more.

Not to mention the dog being run over. Poor little thing.

Dog wasn't even in the middle of the road - it could have been a child that got killed.

@DuchessOfAmbridge

Admittedly I have been listening to the Archers for decades, but the residents do seem to have a lot of vehicle accidents.

Between me and one sibling we have:
Woken up in a hospital bed after a car accident. (passenger)
Broken a pelvis from being run over by own car.
Driven into the back of another car.
2 no fault accidents, and 2 no fault scrapes.
Overturned a car resulting in passenger broken wrist.
and more.

You’ve been very unlucky! Or did one of your parents teach you both to drive, badly?! In 25 years or so I have had a few scratches while parking but never an accident on the move or involving another vehicle or creature. Neither have my husband, brother or father. I’m an average driver, not a great one.

What terrible luck!

During more than forty years of driving I have twice had a tyre blow out on a motorway, and each time been able to get over to the hard shoulder without hitting anything; I once did an 810-degree skid on a motorway on some black ice just the far side of a rise and was unharmed even though rather shaken; I once slid slowly down a slight slope into a wall when a garage which had been servicing the car left the brakes unconnected somehow so they were not working when I was about to drive off; and I was side-swiped by a limo being driven by someone who was high as a kite on something which caused him to spit red, and who had failed to notice that there was a car in the lane next to him. That's it. No injuries to myself or anyone else.

@CheetasOnFajitas

Woken up in a hospital bed after a car accident. (passenger)
Broken a pelvis from being run over by own car. - handbrake fail, sibling got out to open gate leaving toddler in the car. Toddler was old enough to get her mobile out of her handbag and pass it to her.
Driven into the back of another car. - tiredness
2 no fault accidents, and 2 no fault scrapes. - other drivers' faults.
Overturned a car resulting in passenger broken wrist. - Sibling was driving. I was the passenger.
and more.

The dog was by the side of the road and a driver came hurtling round the corner. It was someone we know and she was in some distress afterwards. Fat lot of use was that. As I said, it could have been a child.

I've also had two cars trashed by yobs. Nothing serious but very annoying.

Bad luck and lots of driving and where I live.

Even I, a non-driver, have had a car accident. During the brief, painful time I was learning, I drove our car into the back of a parked car, fortunately at about 2mph. Just one of many incidents that convinced me it was safer for the citizens of the world if I didn't get behind the wheel again.

an 810-degree skid

2 and a quarter turns! @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime, I do admire someone who has a protractor in their glove compartment

Last night was glorious, what a return to form. I’d stopped actively listening for a while through the monologue weeks. I cannot wait to hear from Emma today. If we just get Ed saying to a Eddie, “you’ll never guess what Alice did” and a retelling of Emma’s fumming I will have the rage.

Yy Beardie! It's been a long time since I was eagerly anticipating an episode, as I am right now.

I'm on holiday and can't get BBC TV or radio in the cottage (in Wales not a remote corner of the world) so I'm going to have to wait until the weekend. I'm on tenterhooks.