Archers thread #113: Who’ll find some Magic Time this Christmas in Ambridge? Share the glad tidings (and bad writing) in The Archers! Election-free zone so far ...

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Hannah to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @SurpriseSparDay for the title. I haven't heard 12/12 yet so must catch up now, seeking relief from the outside world.

@DoctorTwo - you're welcome - you're a part of TA/MN mythology now. Quel(le) beau is clearly gender-confused so keeping up with the times...

I want Slow Radio - although perhaps a bit speedier than Jill's mince pie making

Chem you're a genius

Is CMR producing grotesque portraits of several Ambridge notables, to have them all staring down on the audience and heighten the horror of Jim's tales? "Lynda Snell's eyes are following me round the room... "

Poor kirsty has really been done dirty by the SWs over the years. Dicked about by tom not once but twice, cheated on and humiliated, languished in a crappy job, late miscarriage, perpetual third wheel at roy of the racists’ house, went for a nice swim only to find she was a human crouton in brian’s dead fish soup, now lumbered with dull fox murderer philip. Her bezzie is helen ffs. Hasn’t she suffered enough?

Move over Daisy Badger, there's a new contender for "Worst Actress in Ambridge". Mightily helped by a poor script.

Didn't Joyless blow her light fuse? Maybe the Beechwood wiring is dodgy.

Oh I’ve missed you lot! Is it poor form to be absent for a long time, suddenly rejoin only to have a long moan?! No? Great, I’ll crack on then:
Lee and Helen are bloody ridiculous...all that torment from Helen to suddenly get over it in one episode.
Why do we have a new half assed storyline with Josh and the dodgy digger when there are so many juicier ones left hanging?
Why every effing Christmas do we have to go through the “ Will the panto/play etc go ahead.” Then surprise surprise it’s a triumph.
The rewilding thing is beyond boring...as if Justin would give them the time of day.
What’s happened to Tom and Natasha? Surely Christmas would be excellent timing to pick up the storyline about her spending.
And don’t even get me started on magic time, ghost stories and weddings in the Dopeys barn....

There! I feel better now. As you were.

I saw the actor playing justin this morning on tv.

he looks exactly like I imagine him

Phoebe's whinging and self-justification beggared belief. "The re-wilding's all I've got!" Get a bloody job then was what I said to the radio. She's going to be awful isn't she?

Phoebe was being like a crotty little kid in her early teens today.

Phoebe thinks she will get a salary out of the rewilding, but Justin's contract means she would need hos permission to pay herself.
He's planning for all the money to be invested into the hitherto unproductive land, and 75% of the profits to go straight back to him.

Not just planning it, the contract (that none of them even read!)

ensures that will happen.

Why did none of the witless trio not ask Brian or Adam to read the contract?

Or even Usha, who has been shown over the years to be an expert in every branch of the law?

You can’t have people doing sensible normal things on the archers miss b

Next you’ll be expecting people to notice when they’re at talking at cross purposes or trying to get a word in edgeways or for people to ring each other on their phones instead of having dramatic in person showdowns or admitting they feel ill and resting instead of dragging themselves limply about while insisting they ARE FINE etc

Never gonna happen

Is CMR producing grotesque portraits of several Ambridge notables, to have them all staring down on the audience and heighten the horror of Jim's tales? "Lynda Snell's eyes are following me round the room...

I am guessing it is a particular prop for one of the stories. If I'm right, it's a rather nasty thing to do.

I just want to say that I very much enjoyed Phoebe being told some home truths. “Why does everyone keep going on about Oxford”? Because you’ve done nothing with that opportunity, Phoebe, and seem to have learned nothing there. And plenty of Brian, which is always a good thing. Why doesn’t Adam admit he needs help?

On the Lynda portrait - how well does CMR know Lynda? It does seem like a randomly nasty thing to do. I don’t want to see Lynda’s feelings hurt (unless it’s the turning point of Russ being shown the door).

Ugh, Pheeble sounded just like a stroppy teenager. It was good to hear Brian giving her a straight talking to. I also shouted at the radio, "Get a job then, you lazy, entitled twat!".

The CA mentioned Tom finding out something worrying tonight, so I was wondering if that's going to be the size of Gnasher's credit card bills. They certainly ought to address it.

Arrrrrgggggghhhhh

Phoebe. 100% rubbish. RUBBISH I say.

QBL - please, please make the rewilding story stop. It just staggers on from unbelievable development to unbelievable development. I don’t care, I don’t believe in it and I’m not interested. And none of this is helped by the actress who plays Phoebe sounding like she is reading a script - I just don’t believe in Phoebe anymore. Where is Roy? He’s been entirely written out of Phoebe’s life in her elevation to Aldridge.

Crosspost with BuckingFrolics who says it so much better.

Oh come on Lillian, who among us is not looking forward to hearing herds of wildebeest sweeping across the majestic plains of Borsetshire?

(I will cheer if/when someone finally suggests to Phreebie that she gets a job)

who among us is not looking forward to hearing herds of wildebeest sweeping across the majestic plains of Borsetshire? 😂😂😂

Next you’ll be expecting people to notice when they’re at talking at cross purposes or trying to get a word in edgeways or for people to ring each other on their phones instead of having dramatic in person showdowns or admitting they feel ill and resting instead of dragging themselves limply about while insisting they ARE FINE etc

Or just Google shit when they don't know what the feck is going on, which is most of the time.