Archers thread #113: Who’ll find some Magic Time this Christmas in Ambridge? Share the glad tidings (and bad writing) in The Archers! Election-free zone so far ...

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Hannah to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @SurpriseSparDay for the title. I haven't heard 12/12 yet so must catch up now, seeking relief from the outside world.

Don't encourage her, nettie434! (MUM rarely passes up an opportunity to tell us how much she hates Pip )

I have never heard of "Galvin at Windows" and had to google to make sure it wasn't a wind-up. It's a dreadful name, it sounds like an entry into The Meaning of Liff.
Galving at windows: the act of an outsider looking in at a window, especially at night.

The B at Ambridge? QBL. Sometimes I feel I may have reached the point where I can't be arsed to listen any more.

Their problem may well be that people start talking about The Bollocks at Ambridge.

The Bollocks at Ambridge.
That sounds like the basis of a thread title.

This is very outing, as people so often say on AIBU, usually when revealing their DH has a 'hobby' , but my old school merged with the boys' school and the merged entity has an utterly dreadful name which includes the word 'at'. It's on the lines of 'the Academy at Edinburgh' but obviously it's not that. I'm mortified by it. When I was at the school, teachers were able to use our school's name as an example of good punctuation. Now I expect the English department has to avert its eyes from all signage. I don't think they use the @ symbol, but give it time.

Thread title, you say, Captain ... 143 messages to go, so it's probably time to start thinking about it. That's a very strong contender, I must say.

I suspect that what they have in mind is a spiffy new sign laid out something like:

The B
@ Ambridge

followed by load of "hilarious" storylines where people keep writing in extra letters after the B to make it rude. In the meantime, Bert keeps sneaking up and writing in "ull", the whole of Ambridge continues to call it the Bull, and the whole SL disappears.

I had been going to suggest the Peacock and Bull as part of the new thread-title, but must admit that The Bollocks at Ambridge has a great ring to it

Sorry my inverted commas went wrong in the night.

I like “Whether You Prefer the Beaches of Bali or The B[ollocks] at Ambridge”

That's a very strong contender, I must say

I'd add "more useless bollocks than Tony's steers"

I was rather hoping that Neil would use the captive bolt pistol on Hannah and then hire Rex or Jazzer to replace her. And Susan would reward him with chili con carne for dinner.

Oh good grief what a stupid name!

Why does everything happen so quickly in Ambridge??? So a random pub consultant turns up at the end of December and by 8 Jan they’ve decided to change the name, what the name is, and to announce it to everyone.

Just like Peggy set up a fund, asked Lilian to administer it and expected bids in and decided on within a 6-week window.

And people decide on pantomimes, cast them and rehearse them within a few weeks of the performance.

Or the Grundies create a whole event and cater for it within days.

Or previously inexperienced farmers create a new app to sell farm food and have it up and running within milliseconds ... It is all such QBL.

Why don’t they look to the farming calendar, that’s where the realism comes back in. Geese for Christmas, weaners on whatever timescale they take, harvesting crops annually etc. The SWs can’t mess with that and as a result it sounds so much more plausible and engaging, in my opinion at least.

Or previously inexperienced farmers create a new app to sell farm food and have it up and running within milliseconds ... It is all such QBL

That one did at least have one person involved who had been through the set up and logistics of online sales.

More ridiculous to me is the Dopeys thinking they can march into hospitality for major events because they have an old barn. David has no clue what is actually involved in hospitality and is too arrogant to listen to those who do.

Equanimitas
Apparently there are petitions springing up to save The Bull.

I think that is almost certainly what the editorial team was aiming for: a bit of Media Rumpus to draw them to people's attention.

At least this time they haven't killed anyone off to try to make an impact. Or created an abuse story ditto.

I was rather hoping that Neil would use the captive bolt pistol on Hannah and then hire Rex or Jazzer to replace her.

And feed her body to the pigs, to get rid of the evidence.

And feed her body to the pigs, to get rid of the evidence.

But Neil cares about their welfare.

Have you been watching Gentleman Jack, Ebearhug?

The Br**@Ambridge**? (which 1?)
The Bo**@Ambridge**? (handy for the next fludde)

It was Motoko's suggestion. I just think Neil would think it's not treatin his pigs well, particularly if he's worried it's the change in diet causing the tail biting.

Bold fail:
Brat
Boat

We have a list of characters we'd like dedded, media attention or not.
Gruesome deddening of Hannah would be a good one.

I actually shouted at the radio when we heard Justin's opinion of the new name. Who TF cares what he thinks? And I've always loved Simon Williams (ding dong!) but when Justin's talking I just want to clear my throat all the time.

I think it's more like:

The Bullshit at Ambridge
The Balls at Ambridge
The Bollocks at Ambridge
The Buggeration at Ambridge
The Barmpots at Ambridge

Rex's weaners will be drawing their pensions before long unless he gets them to the abattoir (not the one run by Casey meats, I see). He's had them for months and months (or does it just feel like it).

Are none of the village doing "Dry January" or going on a health binge? The Bull sounded busier than usual and they were all knocking back cocktails (lord knows how Kenton managed to pull that one off since he struggles to pull pints in a timely manner). Perhaps the consultant told them to buy them ready-mixed in cans from M&S Foods.

On the plus side it look as if Kate is back for a while and Phoebe is on her way to the cereal cupboard, but not before she's had a drink or 2. That has to be a positive? Odd that Kate found time to help Oliver, but not her daughter.

Do you think the SL's will get any better if/when Brexit happens?

I think THE BULL was busy because of the hotly anticipated news!