Archers thread #113: Who’ll find some Magic Time this Christmas in Ambridge? Share the glad tidings (and bad writing) in The Archers! Election-free zone so far ...

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Hannah to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @SurpriseSparDay for the title. I haven't heard 12/12 yet so must catch up now, seeking relief from the outside world.

How prescient. I've just got up and am shuffling round make ing my morning cuppa. I was just thinking of this before getting out of bed , though my mind was going round the meaningless quasi-hipster pub names:

The Speculum and Petri dish

Hang on: www.fantasynamegenerators.com/inn_names.php

It will, of course, end up being The Bull, though not before much annoying angst.

I can't decide who sounded less truthful convincing tonight

Pip, insisting she's passionate about rewilding.

Or Kirsty, declaring her love for Philip.

If Gavin really has apologised to Kirsty then the argument was a pointless non-story. There will be more (or it really was a pointless non-story).

Pip, insisting she's passionate about rewilding I agree, wasn't she banging on about how glad she was not having to think about it in all the free time before Christmas when she didn't have farm work to do?

Justin's a weasel, trying to finesse Phoebe's concealment as mutual "lack of communication", although his "you'll end up losing it all" is a very veiled threat that BL will take over, and is a timely reminder of just how little, i.e. no independence the re-wilding idiots have.

Were there 2 or 3 script writers writing different bits tonight?

The Jim, Alastair and Jazzer scenes were pitch perfect. The Kirsty/ Philip and Justin/ Pip scenes were terrible.

The Kirsty/ Philip and Justin/ Pip scenes were terrible

The latter could just be the close juxtoposition of a good actor and a bad actor,

The problem with Pip and rewilding is that it is impossible to tell whether she cares/has and interest at all about it because her delivery is so flat. I thought Justin was being quite reasonable in dealing with a bunch of silly childish idiots, but Pip was, as usual, unreadable and inexpressive.

Is 'Gav' suddenly fine with Kirsty because Philip agreed to pay the full £20,000?

That was my take on it Therapist.

Maybe I've missed a couple of episodes since September where Pip was enthusiastic about rewilding? I really don't remember any.

She's been alternating between doing nothing/sulking for ages

I really wanted Justin to say "Why on earth didn't you, with your land management degree and lots of farming expertise, bother to read the most important contract you have ever been a party to?" and "You seem to be leaving a lot of this project to an unemployed graduate and a part-time pig-man; you don't seem remotely committed".

Why aren't David and Ruth sitting Pip down to understand what her time commitment is likely to be?

I really wanted Justin to say ...
Why should he? He's neither her parent nor mentor. He's had a 1:1 with Phoeble. He's had a 1:1 with Pip. He's pretty much got the picture. He just needs a 1:1 with Rex and he'll know how useless they are and how much they are not a team. String 'em along enough for his greenwashing and then go for the kill. If he's really good, he'll nab Rex for Berrow (to replace Hannah) and leave Tom in the lurch (Rex can't do his own pigs as well because of bio security).
Talking of which, what's Jazzer doing for income these days? I can't remember.

Talking of which, what's Jazzer doing for income these days? I can't remember.

Isn't he into aquaponics with Adam now? I remember him getting hired and being an idiot, I can't remember any mention of it since so he's presumably still there. He might also have the never-ending pot of Tom's payout to keep him going. And I think the milk round is still active?

Ah yes, aquaponics. Thanks Fink

I am still amazed that the trust handed over all that money without checking the paperwork as well. Basic due diligence. Even Lilian knows what a snake Justin can be.

And where is phoebe’s final bit of land that she’s mentioned?

Is 'Gav' suddenly fine with Kirsty because Philip agreed to pay the full £20,000?

Brilliant, that'll be precisely it.

I'd forgotten about Pip's land management degree. I'd be amazed if that didn't include at least some basic law and advice about reading bloody documents before you sign them.

Has the trust actually handed over any money? And how do any of them earn a living from this?

Jolene's.
Did Pip study Land Management? I thought it was Agriculture or something.
Hate Pip.

What could be worse than someone being interrupted when about to come out with some key information?

This: Cutting away from the scene just as someone is about to tell the others involved. So Lillian, Jolene and Kenton know that the new name is The Mallet and Ferret, and we won't know till Thursday. Tonight's blatant teaser seemed kind of patronising to us listeners.

Besides, much of the charm of continuing dramas is the viewer knowing more than the characters.

Has the trust actually handed over any money?

I'm sure Phoeble said the first installment had been paid. They have no plan for what it will be used for that we've heard.

And how do any of them earn a living from this?

They won't

I'm steaming about the possibility of a name change for The Bull. Goodness knows what the locals will say.

[Did we ever get that overinfested emoticon?]

Lillian really is obnoxious. I can't stand that fake "darling"

Neil is skating on very thin ice with Hannah. His behaviour tonight was not acceptable.

Neil is skating on very thin ice with Hannah. His behaviour tonight was not acceptable

Hannah has been out of order on more occasions than I can name. The difference is that she'll follow through and make a formal complaint, whereas Neil has let her walk all over him for ages and is now blowing up.

I didn't understand why Lillian was crowing over the others when Hannah said she didn't care about the pub's name. Surely that would indicate that it's pointless changing it, since she and her contemporaries are barely going to notice?

Neil is going to end up leaving Berrow and the big salary, because he's going to have a conversation with Rex and realise Rex is someone who has a similar philosophy to him around animals and is open to advice, and they will end up in partnership together, which will cause Susan much angst.

Neil was out of order, but Hannah must be a bit dim not to recognise how upset he was at having to kill a pig over welfare problems. I wondered if he was about to have a heart attack or something.