The Archers #96: Is that a rat I smell or the whiff of Snell? In Chaucer’s famous Tale of Two Torsos, Brian’s ‘still got it’ and Poldark is searching for scything opportunities in Susan’s kitchen.

[NotdeadyetBOING]

Welcome..... I'd concocted a longer title with all sorts of references to bitch stitching and pasta bakes, but was thwarted by the pesky character limit

My brother's dog ate an entire Christmas leg of ham one year....on Christmas Eve.....which was rather unfortunate to all involved. Rescue greyhounds are quite tall!

witch I make the mince meat too and obviously before it even goes into the pies (the process of making the mincemeat involves it being heated in a very low oven) it's Delia Smith recipe.

I'm finding it entirely unbelievable that Jennifer and Brine haven't got their act together about somewhere to live, even with the unfeasibly short completion timeline. I expect it will mean they'll be put up in someone's expanding house. Rather like the Room of Requirement in Harry Potter.

They haven't got their act together because they aren't moving.

What is even more unbelievable is that they are doing their own packing.

That explains it ppeat! I’d probably quite enjoy making mincemeat but it hasn’t happened yet.

I don't have dogs but my rabbit is currently trying to eat his way through the Christmas tree and the false berries that are on a candle. He is an idiot though.

I once had a rabbit that ate at various times: shoes, electric cables, the phone cable, the lapels off my housemate’s one night stand’s leather jacket, a packet of paracetomol (that was in a closed desk drawer that he somehow opened from the back of the desk), all with no discernible ill effects. He also growled at visiting men, full on attacked the gas man who came to check the gas fire over, and ruled both cats with a rod of iron. He was wild, i miss that floppy eared idiot

. I know what you mean Madame I don't like him a lot of the time but I do love him. Still an arse though.

Oh buns are the greatest. Like toddlers they will randomly trash your house and ruin your life at inopportune moments, but also like toddlers they look cute af doing it, who could be mad with that? Does yours do the little contented grunting when he flollops round your feet first thing in a morning? They have so much personality (too much really) I can’t believe people keep them in hutches down the bottom of the garden. Free the bunnies!!! (Just move all yr valuables first like)

To return to an Archers-adjacent theme, i think Peggy should get a naughty bun to slap some humility into Hilda ‘too big for her boots by far’ Ogden, personally

I don't know how Christine is going to fund an assisted living flat out of her pension alone but if she can, surely it's the best option? I can't understand why Peggy is so adamant that she should return to the Lodge? Christine clearly doesn't want to.

@LillianGish, I too find it totally unbelievable that they are doing their own packing. I am (I suspect) somewhat more used than JD to getting my hands dirty but even we forked out for packers last time we moved. Best decision we made.

I never known a cat eat nuts!

One of our cats ate crisps and twiglets. Actually munched them rather than just licking the salt off. We put it down to the fact that he was adopted as a stray and must have scavenged to survive. He never stayed in at nights either.

I can't understand why Peggy is so adamant that she should return to the Lodge?

I can.

Peggy, at her age, must have seen enough people have this type of accident to know that the killer is the loss of confidence. I would also be worried about Christine never quite getting her confidence back if she doesn't leave assisted living.

The most striking thing to me of accidents at Christine's age has not been the injury and recovery time but the total loss of confidence in previously confident and able bodied octogenarians. It creates a downward spiral.

I also think that’s where she’s coming from. A few weeks back she said that she knew Chris and “she needs chivvying”. The problem is you lose confidence, move less, shuffle more, and ironically become even more likely to fall. The fact that Chris won’t even leave for a Christmas dinner shows how nervous she is.

Sorry to carry on the mincemeat theme witch But making your own mincemeat is just the easiest thing to do! You start early [the earlier the better] you can use the ingredients that you like (we don't like the candied citrus so I don't use it) It steeps in whatever alc. you've got or fruit juice. I also used to make plenty and use the same mix for the pudding\cake or whatever! It also lasts a long time.

Re JD and the packing - completely agree.

It's also beyond belief that a move in these circumstances - even more urgent now (seemingly, although I too have my doubts) - wouldn't dictate the immediate hiring of a top-notch house-search agency. The Borchester equivalent of Kirsty & Phil, in other words.

Brine and JD may be in reduced circs but they're still very far from being on the poverty line. All this flapping helplessly around is doing nobody any favours.

Obvious compare and contrast there - Peggy wanting to roll up her sleeves and help with packing up her daughter's house at 90+, and Christine not wanting to come back to a house with all sorts of adaptations and aids in it.

Thanks ppeat. I’m not making anything this year but maybe next year I’ll do it all from scratch, I like that kind of thing.

pasbeaucoup The removal companies, esp. the good ones, are usually booked up months head. JD obviously didn't have a date to aim for. Now she does, they won't be free!

JD & Brine -> Auntie Cardboard's room at Peggy's**
Ruari -> shares Ben's room
Kate -> a yurt

There. Sorted.

** or stay with Susan & Neil. Pretty please, scriptwriters.

It's maybe something to do with the fact that Jenny and Brian haven't moved for so long. She might have forgotten how draining and endless the packing is. I know it's only after having moved house without packers that I vowed 'never again'. She's probably started off all enthusiastic - a bit like her snotty attitude to outside caterers at the shoot - doesn't want anyone to mess with her precious crystal etc. And is only now facing the enormity of it.

I agree Christine's lost confidence and Peggy predicted this correctly. Peggy's a tough one. It makes me so admire the very elderly people you meet who keep on vigorously meeting the world despite many setbacks. I fear I'd be more like Christine. I think we sometimes don't realise how much grit it can take.

I really like Lily, I think she's a trooper. I know I wouldn't have been like her at that age.

Really hope poor Bess will be OK.

There is a map of Ambridge in the "wallpaper" which has Brookfield on it

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/archers/wallpaper/ambridge_1024.shtml

and I can't see enough outbuildings there for all the things they need them for and still have a spare for Lynda.

I mean, a farm doesn't just keep a barn empty in case someone wants to put on a play in it at Christmas! Quite apart from Josh's machinery, don't they have straw to store, and lambing to do, and things like that? And I think even the special new cows have to come in for the winter at some point, don't they?

I suppose if it is a disused ancient barn Josh got away with keeping stuff in because nobody wanted it, then maybe and it's not surprising if the roof does leak...