Helen is drowning in the Cow Pat of Destiny. Please SWs - when will it be curtains for Rob?

[PseudoBadger]

Come on Kirsty!

I hope they don't make it a man who helps her. A female professional of some sort would be good!

agreed

Everyone who saw it will be urging her to go to hospital or to the GP. Rob will insist he takes her though.

Perhaps while Knob is at hospital with Hellin, Henry will say something to Patbot that makes her finally realise she's been blind as a bat.

Is it just me, or do other MNers on this thread also read stuff on AIBU or _Chat and gag to post: is your husband Rob Titchener?

Because of my PE in first pg with my second I took aspirin, had Doppler and growth scans and more regular MW appts. No research on actual high risk pregnancy clearly...

I think you're right, but also, it seems to me that it's like many other storylines in the past few years - if they happened before SOC took charge, and he didn't like them, it's as if they never were, and he either ignores things or re-writes Archers history to suit his agenda. Bit of a revisionist, I'd say. (Wish he could conveniently misremember Nigel and The Scream )

Oh, look - I think The Helen Titchener (nee Archer) Rescue Fund was under £25k before last night's episode.

I'm abroad and can't listen, some of these episodes sound painful listening.

fluffiphlox your comment This has to be one of the most far-fetched storylines ever. More unlikely than Nigel's plummet. Surely any sane woman would tell him to shove it.

This is massively naive, if not offensive. The storyline is difficult but it's highlighting a sadly common situation for some women. If it were not, there would be no need for the appeal which currently stands at £25k.

My XP pushed me down the stairs when I was 4 months pregnant. He belitted me to, and humiliated me in front of, our respective children.
When I gave birth to my DS I had a black eye from a wallop he'd given me when I was in labour.
I didn't tell anyone for years because I was ashamed and frightened.

Your opinion is narrow minded and outdated.

The first paragraph of my post above is a quote from FluffiPhlox 's post, just in case that's not clear.

Hello cutted Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry you had that experience obviously. Sounds vile.
However my point is that the Rob character is like something out of a melodrama. (I mentioned up thread that the SW must have seen an old film called 'Gaslight ' where the husband tries to make the wife think she's going round the bend ). Rob is like a pantomime villain that Pat was dubious of but now seems to think is totally plausible. The Helen character always seems to have had poor taste in men but Pat is supposed to be more astute.

Fluffi, 'gaslighting' is the commonly used term on the whole of MN, and more widely , for the process you're describing.

Posted too soon.
And this is because it's a very common element of abuse. Unfortunately not just fictional.

Gas lighting is a common manipulative tool. Persuading Henry mummy was being mean to knob is a form of gaslighting. H&R is not like a melodrama it's very realistic. It's only when you are living it or more to the point, escaped it you realise this.

Interesting bit about TA on BBC breakfast, and the money raised, and the writer of some of the episodes was herself in this type of relationship. missed a bit so hope I heard this right making tea

I think Hellin had a bit of a panic attack and may have fainted because of it because knob was suffocating her emotionally and criticising her in public, and being malnourished H lost it.

It won't bring knob out as an abuser but as being right all along, Hellin can't manage to work and needs to be confined permanently to house arrest, with no communication to the outside world unless it's through him

There is a fundamental problem in that a complex story is being told in soundbites along with several other stories during a 15 minute radio show (so no opportunity for visual clues). Things are simplified and sometimes heavily done in order to make the point and move on, and the details (eg Helen's PE, her mother's concern) are sometimes lost. I think it's the nature of the genre.

I feel it has ramped up so much over the last few weeks it must come to a denoument soon.

Point taken. I rarely comment on Relationships type stuff as I've been married for 30+ years and don't have children. Half of what I read on those sort of threads is totally outside my experience

However, it seems in TA that for a plot line to be developed, a character has to have a personality change. So Pat becomes blind to the imperfections of mankind (since when?!) or Josh becomes the Theo Paphitis of the egg world. The most striking example of this was when David Archer was willing to up sticks to the other end of the country, abandoning the family farm/heritage on which the programme is based.

I believe you can see the piece about Domestic Abuse on BBC iplayer at 8.16, on the Breakfast programme this morning. It was a spokeswoman from Refuge and a writer called Helen Walmsley-Johnson, not a scriptwriter, but the lady who wrote the article in the New Statesman which triggered Paul Trueman into setting up his Just Giving page (which is now at just over £29k and with a target of £40k). This is unprecedented for Refuge.

CUP, I'm abroad too, and can listen live via the internet if I'm still up, or listen again on the BBC radio iplayer, either via the BBC website on my laptop: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qpgr or using the BBC Radio app on my phone and ipad. I've been away from the UK for 25 years now and am still listening (when I can stand to!).

Tbh though we've all joked about Patbot, and yes some plot lines have been a tad ridiculous (the driving issue springs to mind!) but it is pretty close to the truth what abusers do. They manipulate all the family and friends to the point where the victim feels there is no chance of anyone believing them when they realise they need help. So many women in this situation stay quiet as they have no one left to turn to. It's all part of the abuse.

Yes.
Eg Pat knows Helen is in trouble but she thinks Rob is on the same page and is looking after her.

To be fair on PatBot, she has seen that something is not right with Helen but unfortunately she asked Rob about it. It hadn't occurred to her that Rob is being abusive because he's so nice. I'd hope that she asks Helen again. But to be fair if Helens told Kirsty she's fine then she won't tell Pat. My only hope is that Kirsty might talk to Pat or even Tom. Wasn't Fallon concerned about Helens 'change' a month or two ago?

But when he was first pursuing Helen, Pat thought that Rob was an obnoxious creep! What has happened to change her mind? Nothing.
So the plot line is shaky I think on those grounds, regardless of the realism of Rob's behaviour.

I'm watching Narcos on Netflix (has anyone seen it?) and it has struck me that Josh is the Pablo Escobar of the egg world.

Like it pseudo

Pat did try to accept Rob when she saw how happy he made Helen (in the beginning) but I agree it should not have taken much to convert her back to her old views. And Tony was never convinced; hope his other acting jobs end soon....

Yes, CUP if you can get MN where you are you can get TA. I never missed an episode throughout 6 years in Asia.