Is that a ferret in your (Gr)undies or are you just pleased to see me? Discuss The Archers vermin (so many possibilities!) here.

[PseudoBadger]

I'm not sure that ferrets cannot through a thumb sized hole - rats can, and mice can fit through a pen sized hole. But I know the SWs will have researched such a statement carefully

I wouldn't be at all surprised if they've changed their minds about the Rob/Jess story; it's terrible writing to bring in a new (unseen, unheard) character - Ethan's father - who hasn't existed for us (even as a suspicion) until now.

It gives the impression that they don't know what they're doing. And it's not the way TA usually works, we should be able to hear all the major plots unfolding - not have characters tell us something major happened months ago.

Ah yes, I take your point - a reasonably well rounded and believable sanctimonious man-stealng baggage

Yes - more columbo than midsomer murders would be better

Glad you agree about Jess ppeat!

Jess was inseminated during an alien abduction. Or perhaps it will turn out that Dr Locke fathered not only Dan, but also Henry and Ethan.

Dr Locke is only allowed to be dans dad if it is announced either as

Eastenders style 'you cant tell me what to do, you're not my father' 'YESSS I AAAAM'

Or darth vader style

Anything else will be completely unacceptable

I haven't been listening for a week - please fill me in? Was Jess lying and Knob truthing?

You are JOKING??!
What a wind up.

Ambrifhe spermganics

My scenario: Dr Locke was so busy thinking about forthcoming assignations with Shula that he accidentally threw away the sample. He decided Knob looked like a fine upstanding pillar of the community who would never abandon his wife and unborn child, therefore he couldn't be the father, and sent off a sample of his own DNA. Later he'll learn from Shula what a shit he is and have a massive attack of conscience, will steal some more DNA from Knob and send it off, and The Truth Will Emerge on the eve of the wedding.

Zero IIRC Our knob referred to Jess's 'shagging abaht' habit (obviously after getting pissed and indulging in a ONS a while ago, so as he never lies we could've guessed there was probably at least the probability of another sperm getting up there.

Apologies,for my ghastly grammar!

I'm rather impressed with your 'Enderese ppeat.

A brilliant new noun Zero It'll have to go in O.D.!

What a load of balls.
There is no way that the character we know Knob as would have put up with a wife who slept around.
This eleventh hour ramping up of the plot twists is ridiculous.

Surely though Cutteduppear it would have been more 'ramped up' and 'Eastender-ish' if the baby had been Rob's? Think this scenario is perhaps 'quieter' and a bit more intriguing???

Definitely think there is something further to come wrt Jess "not feeling very well".

And didn't Jess only sleep around after her marriage break up? Or as it was breaking up? (Or perhaps I am wrong there - only listen intermittently.) Think it is fairly reasonable scenario that she might have a fling in order to boost the self confidence that had been so thoroughly flattened by the Knob.

[Btw, sorry to witter on, but still desperate to know whether actor who plays Lillian has been changed recently btw - post 'botox'? or whether her new 'depressed' state is just causing her voice to sound flatter. Hope not because I loved the 'old' Lillian! Does anyone know?]

Who is the teenage boy talking to Ruth?

And how egocentric is pip. Quicker she falls under the tractor the better

Clunky politics referrals

Looks like PI David is on the trail and ed is going to get in trouble (as forewarned by 'Charlie's been good to me'g

Oooh. So dod Rob block the culvert? He did say didn't he that Berrow woukd be fine?

Was it the same culvert that Charlie got stuck in?

If the Knob/Jess storyline is to come a suitably EE conclusion she will turn up on the eve of his wedding and he will bump her off - possibly hiding her body in a culvert to be discovered by the Environment Agency. His mother (unaware of the DNA results) will then turn up in Ambridge looking for her accompanied by Ethan who will be the spitting image of Knob - we won't be able to see this of course but perhaps any sounds he makes could be played by the actor who plays Knob. Knob will turn out to have a brother who will move to Ambridge and make a play for Hellin. She will become pregnant but the DNA test will be inconclusive because they are brothers (Knob actor can play both characters or they can get an actor who sounds exactly like him so we'll never be able to work out which one is which). Knob will be revealed to have been having a never before hinted at affair with a woman from Loxley Barratt which will come to light when Susan comes back from visiting her dad and sister in their new house. Knob will never be allowed to play for Ambridge cricket team again and will have to play for Loxley Barratt instead.

lillian throw the evil Horribin one in (escaped from prison) falsely pin the blame for the murder on Tony, causing peggoi to sohmc and have Hayley steal Ethan and you have got yourself an EE christmas special.

I like he idea of Rob's brother turning up, Lillian.

The Knobbrethren?

It might be a nice touch, now that Rob thinks he's in the clear, if the Environment Agency (represented by a female civil servant he can sneer at) finds him directly and personally culpable of blocking one of the culverts with the debris from the other and thus keeping Berrow Farm safe at the expense of the rest of the village.
This might make Shula come clean about the hunt incident at last.

Pip will fall for one of the Fairbrethren mark my words. Or both (love triangle warning).