Come and play Grand Theft Combine through the quiet Ambridge streets. And by the way, ROB IS STILL MARRIED.

[PseudoBadger]

Bolloxfest is imminent. Will this thread make it to the big day?

Think it was really sweet when susan realised she had been sent in invite to the Grande Kitchen Opening after all. Was waiting for her to turn nasty though and put her foot in it with Jenny. Family disaster averted.

Ooh lovely new thread

I have been reading the BBC character guide all morning. Apologies to DCs and pile of laundry.

There are characters on there who I was convinced were the same person

Maybe I'll try to listen without the extractor fan on from now on

Pollster i sort of wish i were listening to your version of the archers - it sounds more most entertaining!

ElPollo

Let me guess: Adam and Kenton? Nic and Fallon? Josh and Jamie?

If it's any comfort I've been listening for a thousand years and still have to concentrate hard sometimes. And if I dash into the kitchen at the wrong moment I can be left confused for days.

You must update in, say, a month as to whether between the crib and the thread you're able to enjoy it more. (Perhaps you'll find you preferred it when it was all a bit hazy...)

Just popping in to mark place on the new thread..

ElPollo I have the same problem as you! I think I will have to give in and look at that BBC page - I was trying to avoid it in case the actors look "wrong" for the characters.

Zero That is one example of a closed mind not nec. a lack of education, Emmur just isn't the type to be 'matriarch'. She's a bit of an airhead which I reckon she'd still be even if she had a proper job. (i don't want to demean cleaning as an improper job but YKWIM).

Emma is a disaster but had so much promise before she got messed up by the Grundy boys. I wish she would find her spark. I'm fed up of the female characters being dumbed down. Alice, fallon, Emma, nic

before she got messed up by the Grundy boys.!

Some might say it was she who messed them up....

(Because she doesn't yet seem to have been worth the family-wide heartbreak.)

Well it's always the woman who gets blamed....

Let's be realistic here;we are talking about country people who are not dumbed down nec. just being normal, we can't all be nuclear physicists and there are not enough jobs for all the people with degrees in RL are there?

Though it is odd that the SWs are making Alice more domesticated than one would expect from her qualifications; maybe she likes being at home Some people do!

I don't want highly educate - just smart! They all come across as airheads most of the time and that's not about education!

And I'm not saying the men of their generation are much better but they don't make the women seem so superficial and petty

I've got an idea about RichJohn (genius coinage!). If his GCSEs are really not great, he may leave school and come to work on Bridge Farm. They could do with an extra worker about the place and it would give the SWs a brilliant chance to explain lots of basic farming/country stuff to us.

He could then set his cap at Phoebe who is the same age, I think, and that would really put Josh's nose out of joint.

Trying to work out the relationships here:

Generation 1 - Dan and Doris Archer (married)

Generation 2 - Jack, Phil, Christine (siblings)

Generation 3 - Jennifer, Lilian, Tony (siblings); Shula, Kenton, David, Elizabeth (siblings) - the one group being first cousins to the other [I'm deliberately ignoring Christine's son Peter as he never speaks and I don't think he has any children to add to the mix]

Generation 4

• Adam, Debbie, Kate, Alice (siblings); James; John, Helen, Tom (siblings) - all first cousins;
• Dan; Meriel; Pip, Josh, Ben (siblings); Freddie & Lily (twins) - all first cousins

Generation 5

• Phoebe, Noluthando, Sipho (siblings) - as yet these are the only grandchildren Jennifer and Brian have
• soon there will be Baby Snellamy (offspring of James and Leonie)
• RichJohn and Henry (first cousins)

I get lost when it comes to cousin relationships. The nearest I can get is that Phoebe is a cousin several times removed to both Josh and RichJohn.

i think phoebe and RJ would be second cousins (none times removed)

ben is second cousin once removed to both phoebe and RJ (???)

Aren't josh and phoebe too closely related?

Abbie must be the only child outside of the Grundy kids who doesn't have archer blood?

and bethany?

i think second cousins is ok legally

Beautiful Mimsy!

And yes, I already see him (RichJohn) coming into his ancient inheritance and being crowned King of Ambridge. (Given that Dan is now looking a little too detached.)

Just hope he can accidentally find something incriminating enough to see off Rob.

Yes Bethany too has outsider blood! And unless fallon ends up marrying an archer then she will have children who are clean of the curse. Nics kids are completely fresh blood of course! Just have to wait 15 years for this generation though!!

How old is Jamie? He must be eligible to be married off to an archer?

Maybe it will turn out that anthrax has a very eligible 21 year old daughter

Josh's dad and Phoebe's gran are first cousins. Not that closely related, given it's perfectly legal for first cousins to marry.

Young(ish) and free of Archer blood: Jamie Perks, Fallon, Roy, Brenda, Bethany, Abbie, Amy, Kirsty (although I don't think she will ever be back), Chris, Emma, Ed, Will, Nic (and all their children). If we ever get to hear them, Molly and Tilly Button are also unrelated.

Ha ha - I meant anthea not anthrax (Lillian obviously took over my phone!!)

Rich john will indeed inherit the earth. Hope he believes in organics- that would be a great foil to rob!!

RichJohn will end up taking over the pigs in honour of his sainted dad. And he'll get all obsessive about it, branch out into loads of pork-related products, before having a major character change when the SWs get tired of him and blaming Pat'n'Moany for pushing him into it and going off to Find Himself. Whereupon young Henry will decide that farming is what he always wanted to do despite his abusive stepfather and the whole cycle will start again.