Come and play Grand Theft Combine through the quiet Ambridge streets. And by the way, ROB IS STILL MARRIED.

[PseudoBadger]

Bolloxfest is imminent. Will this thread make it to the big day?

This has annoyed me so much I am tempted to write in to feedback despite my self imposed ban in order to maintain my 100% success rye of being read out.

Although I think they are a bit fed up with complaints about the archers. Maybe they should commission a dial in show (like this thread really!!)

Now Bolloxfest is going to become AmazeballsFest. Great.

Have they sold the sausage van?

I'm sure they haven't sold the sausage van, everything of Tom's has been lovingly preserved for when he comes back from "Canada".

As soon as PC Plot mentioned they would be singing Jolene I knew we were in for a reprise of Rotaboy and Elizabeth. I hated all the antiseptic and shirt changing - don't the SWs realise that Roy is and always has been a seven-stone-weakling in polyester? Whatever it is that Elizabeth is attracted to it is not his ripped physique - that's what makes all their encounters so stomach churning. If we must have this plot line can we at least have within existing parameters - ie he reminds her of Nigel not because he in anyway ressembles him (even in his shirt) but because he is her rock who helps her look after Lower Loxley.

Everything preserved miss haversham style. Nice

I can see the new sw wants to shake things up but he does need to remember that these are well established characters so he can't start with a clean slate

Roooooy don't take your love to town

Hotel managers do not have ripped physiques. Ever.

This whole bolloxfest thing has tipped over into complete absurdity. The storyline's been silly up until now but with the last minute coup of the PSB, they've gone over the edge. And yes, the DV storyline is nauseating.

Forgive me if this has already been posted but it's not just MN who's discussing TA. This is on a mountain bike forum: singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/loxfest-anyone-going

Nigel was a (lovely) upper class twit with a lean physique from all his dynamic impetuousity and years spent cycling the Am Vale whilst on a driving ban

Roy has moobs and love handles from a career stood static behind reception desks and computer screens.

"Anyway, off to listen to a Drifters tribute band next - should be OK but you can only hear 'Up On The Roof' so many times......."

arf

CuttedUp that's exactly my vision of him too.

*of Nigel

Roy is just ordinary, bigger than Nigel but not overweight. A hotel-manager clone.

I agree with all of you. And now MrBasketz has explained the idea behind hand in bowl of warm water whilst asleep, I know it's what Dan needs. Go on, Jamie, you know you want to .....

Eeeeeuugh! I just looked it up.

CuttedUpPear you've described them both exactly.

My goodness me, you can find out anything on the internet, can't you? I just typed into Google 'hand in bowl', it autocompleted '...of water while sleeping' and there was the explanation. Well, well.

Just back from a few days away. Had a massive catch up earlier on i-player. I shouted out loud when Roy said the Pet Shop Boys were coming. The rest of the family came to check all was well but there was a lot of eye rolling while I explained how exciting this is. If you can cope with pictures of the cast, there's a lovely one here of Neil and Chris with Lynda Snell, Roy and Elizabeth. (I think Roy is still wearing Nigel's shirt as it doesn't look like polyester to me.)

That's not the old Wayne, is it? He didn't have that lovely, bronchial-tubes-congested-by-60-years-of-dogends quality the old actor brought to the role.

You are very naughty R4 -I laughed so hard I spilt my wine on the baby

Fired up the laptop specially to catch up with this thread (now that the mobile site is totally bolloxed).

Pet Shop Boys !!! Genuine wahwahwah!!!!

BUT I reiterate all my previous complaints about the plotlines, glad to see I'm not alone.

The contrasting GCSE results were indeed 'arf'.

Not even gonna comment on Roy/Lizzie, just thinking about it saps my will to live.

And the shouty-feminist-protesters [eyeroll] ... Really not liking the scriptwriters' attitude towards women. They're either silly middle aged, middle class harebrains (Jenny's kitchen, Susan's hair), or help-I-can't-manage-to-do-it-alone sexy types (Lizzie, Fallon, Jolene), or stolid, dull pillars-of-the-community (Lynda, Roooooth), or shouty-crack ranty, hairy-legged idiots (nameless anti-DV protesters).

Are there any women who are being written well at the moment???

Are there any men who are being written well at the moment either? I think it's essential to The Archers that most of the characters are people we wouldn't like to spend more than two minutes with. If they were all delightful we'd get bored, wouldn't we?

I've decided I must simply just not think about the utter ludicrousness of having the Pet Shop Boys sign up at 3 days' notice for a piddling little music festival in the middle of nowhere at god knows how much cost - budget? what budget? If word got out on Friday that they were making an unscheduled appearance this Monday, tickets for Loxfest would suddenly start changing hands at astronomical figures, I assume, but how much of that would end up back in Lizzie's hands?

What sort of performance will it be? I thought they were famous for their elaborate costumes, props etc. Presumably this will be a pretty stripped down performance.

Oh dear, I seem to have broken my own vow. Back to the chanting, Tibetan monk-style:

I must not overthink this. I must not overthink this. I must not overthink this.

I must just let it all wash over me. I must just let it all wash over me. I must just let it all wash over me.

I must not overthink this. I must not overthink this. I must not overthink this.

I must just let it all wash over me. I must just let it all wash over me. I must just let it all wash over me.

PS I liked the contrasting GCSE grades too.

Phoebe: 7 A*s, 2 As, 2 Bs.
Josh: A in PE, B in Maths, B in Geography, C in everything else.

Judging by some of the threads on here in real life it would be very much in doubt whether he could stay on to do A levels with those grades. Maybe we're in for a story where he drops out because he isn't up to the work. It's a big jump from GCSE to A level, especially if you haven't got a really solid grounding from the GCSE work.

I don't have that 'love to hate' thing I'm afraid. Well, maybe with a couple of characters for that delightful frisson of irritation (Susan ...). But generally I like the way in which you can see both sides of whatever divide is going on at the time, and most people have sympathetic aspects to them, while also doing silly/ill-advised things ....

Male characters ... well Charlie is a pantomime villain but Kenton, Dan, PC Burns, Jim have all been well-written in recent episodes I've heard ... David is written fine (though the subject matter of the goddamn road is a bore). Matt's always a joy. Brian is a bit of a stereotype but not written that badly I don't think ?? ... Trying to think of other male characters whose writing has made me cringe (other than obviously Roy).

Love Robert and Neil too. Alice could be good but is under exploited and the whole Jenny delusions of grandeur has been horribly over written making her one dimensional and of absolute irrelevance. Suppose carol has been done well so far in fact the oldies are generally better treated than the younger women.

And Lynda snell over time has been beautifully crafted. I love Lynda and I love the pairing of her and Lillian:):)

I love it when Lynda sniffs. Brian is my favourite Archers character and we aren't hearing enough of him this year. I particularly like Brian in conversation with Matt. David could disappear into the slurry pit tomorrow and I wouldn't care that much.