Urgent: fish-slapping fund

[LondonMother]

We need a large number of fish, preferably very large and frozen solid, for slapping Lilian round the chops. I don't think I can stand much more of this of her weeping and wailing. Anyone else willing to subscribe?

Will thirty pounds be enough, darling?

Good start. I'm willing to put my pension fund in there if necessary.

Count me in, at this point I'd be prepared to rob a fishmongers if it did the trick!

Count me in

Excellent. I think we may have enough for a small box of haddock. Billingsgate first thing tomorrow and then off to Euston to catch a train to Hollerton Junction. I reckon Jolene will assist. She must be fed up to the back teeth with Lilian by now.

This sounds fun - like a task in The Apprentice. Bagsy me not to be the one wearing 6" heels.
Actually, we don't need to go to Billingsgate for the fish. Birmingham has, surprisingly seeing as it is so far from the sea, one of the biggest fish markets in Britain. Money saved on rail fares can go towards extra fish!

I bet Jolene is rueing the day that she got involved in this.

I'm in, with bells on!

Surely The Village shop will have a suitable range to choose from, aisle 314a iirc.

Count me in.

I'll come armed with tins of tuna as i live too far from the sea!