Anyone else want to reach into their radio and slap Tom Archer?

[OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet]

It can't just be me?!?

No, I love Tom, and how incredibly sausage / ready meal obsessed he is. My DH is just like Tom and from time to time I turn the radio up and say 'That's you, that is. That's you and your precious sausage business'. When I want to insult his company, I refer to it as the sausage business.

I just wish my DH had someone like Jazzer to tell him it like it is, i.e. sausages are dull and no-one else cares.

Slap Tom!! I'm just so relieved to hear from the old characters who have been in scriptwriters wilderness
Hellin, Pat, Tony, Henry, Usha - welcome back!

It isn't just you

But I hate Will Grundy even more

I always want to reach into the radio and slap Tom Archer. And I can't say I'm thrilled that Helen's back.

I'm sure Lillian is going to be discovered soon. All this "Paul, I love you...Matt you're being so thoughtful...Paul I love you" stuff is getting a bit repetitive. Though I'm looking forward to the huge row when Matt finds out.

And why does she have to drive James to his appointment? Do they not have taxis in London?

I'm with you, Olivia.

YANBU I hate Tom and have not a clue why Brenda is with him.

Brenda has been so sane & human lately (re Tony/Pat, & Vickoi's baby) she must be going to dump the sausage king soon

huzzah!

Yes yes!! Urge, apart from his endless sausage drivel and non-personality, I can't stand the way he says "sandwiches" it's like this: "sand-wit-juz" Aaaaaaaaarrgghhh!

Urge? That was Urgh - bastard iPad

And pat and tony actually seem ok - at least as archers characters go - its a mystery how they have managed to spawn such humourless twunts.

Your not alone.

Yes plwase. I can't stand the way he talks. What's wrong with him?

Pat and Tony are holier-than-thou, moaning, martyrish eco-warriors so I can understand how thay produced equally up-their-own-backsides humourless twunts.

I really wish that someone would do a proper analysis of the farm, the dairy processing, the organic shop, the pig business, the Tom Archer Food Empire, etc and actually work out which bit is profitable. There is so much cross-subsidy going on that I bet no-one knows. There really ought to be more family squabbles going on about one sector 'carrying' another, like the other farms do in TA.
I can't believe that there is enough profit to support Pat, Tony, Tom, Helen and Henry, especially with Tony being off sick for so long.

I agree Pat and Tony are not that nice, but no one on the Archers is likeable at all - except possibly Usha. In the general scheme of things they are saints.

I think Brenda is about to dump Tom too, either that, or she has accidently got pregnant, Im sure she refused a drink some time over Christmas.
I prefer option one though, cant stand Tom .

Oh, if Brenda were pregnant with a 'perfect' baby who was within 9 months of Vicky's, that would be interesting.

Thoughtful Matt is not very convincing, is he?

Slap him - I would kill him, I fast forward when he is on the little snit - absolutely can't stand him or Hellin or Pat, wish they would all bugger off - Archers is better without them. Actually The Archers would be better if all the characters weren't in it. Love it tho'!

I think Linda Snell is one of the better eggs on it, and I hate the way they are all bitchy and rolly-eyed about her. She is actually always rather kind, as far as I can see!

Tom and Helen are a dreadful twosome . If I were Pat and Tony I would disinherit the pair in favour of Rich.

My DH would like to challenge you all on your unpleasant attitudes towards Tom. He has asked me to post "What's wrong with Tom? At least he does some work and has some ambition. Not like Helen, or Kirsty, or Jennifer, or Adam, or any of the rest of them."

At least he does some work and has some ambition.

Which version of TA is your DH listening to!?
Tom likes to skive off work delegate the gruntwork as soon as he can to leave himself free for greater things eg Vision and Strategic Planning for, erm, a burgervan.

Bring back Tom Forest!

Oh dear, LOL at 'Planning for, erm, a burgervan'. It's a burger van in John's memory, you know?

I shall pass your thoughts back to DH.

It should be named The John Goldenboy Archer Memorial Van.

Tom was doing his best CEO impression today when he was explaining to Tony that the most efficient use of manpower was for any old idiot to do the milking because it only needed some random drudge, which would leave Tom free to do the Important Things that only cleverclogs Tom could do. It seems to have slipped his mind that it was only yesterday that he was trying to persuade Tony to do the milking ...

On another matter: does anyone else think that Brenda has gone broody? She will decide to have a baby with the Sausage King and then in ten years time think "How did I get here? Why am I shackled to this twerp? What happened to my life?"

I salute you R4. I wish the Neil/Ruth farming troubleshooters would sit down at the bloody Bridge Farm computer with its amazing Tom-installed software and explain to us how the hell any of it makes sense.

How do the kids get their money for example? Does Helen own the shop and negotiate prices for those bloody leeks with St Pat and Tony? Or do they pay her salary, and did she take a pay cut as a result of poo-gate? Bah. it all sounds so ropey and small time. Can't believe they all survive on that and the magic sausages.