AIBU to be absolutely terrified of buying a house when I should be in a decent financial position?

[BeQuaintLion]

I’m in my mid 30s and currently in the process of buying my first home, but I’m honestly driving myself mad with worry and wondering if anyone else has been like this.
I’m self employed and have worked really hard over the years to build up my savings. I’ve currently got around £155k saved, all my own money. My income can fluctuate being self employed but my average earnings over the last 3 years have been around £42-45k a year.
I’ve recently had an offer of £240k accepted on a property. It needs some updating but nothing too major hopefully, I’m budgeting around £15-20k to get everything how I want it.
The deposit is going to be £48k, although family are very kindly helping with £15k of that. The mortgage will be around £1050 a month and by my calculations I should still have somewhere around £95-100k left in savings once I’ve paid the deposit, renovated and covered the other costs.
I know on paper I’m probably in a better position than a lot of first time buyers and please don’t think this is a stealth boast because it really isn’t. I’ve worked bloody hard for every penny and I think that’s actually part of the problem. I’m absolutely terrified of losing what I’ve spent years building up.
I keep thinking what if my business slows down, what if I stop earning as much, what if mortgage rates go through the roof, what if the house ends up needing thousands spending on it that I haven’t budgeted for. Just constant what ifs.
I’ve even found myself sitting there working out how many years I could pay the mortgage out of my savings if I never worked another day in my life. Sounds ridiculous writing it down but that’s genuinely where my head is at.
I actually pulled out of purchasing another property recently because it needed a huge amount of work and there were some fairly concerning issues with it. The property I’m buying now seems a much more sensible option and I do really like it.
I just can’t seem to get past the fear of committing myself to such a huge financial responsibility. One minute I’m excited and looking at kitchens and bathrooms, the next I’m convincing myself I’m going to end up bankrupt and lose everything.
I know I can’t sit on my savings forever and I do want to actually enjoy some of what I’ve worked for. I also know that nothing in life is guaranteed and I can’t predict what’s going to happen in 5, 10 or 20 years time.
I think I’m just struggling with the idea of parting with such a large amount of money and taking on a mortgage for the next 35 years.
Has anyone else been like this? Especially anyone self employed? Did you eventually just bite the bullet and get on with it?

AIBU to be worrying this much or do I need to give my head a wobble and just get on with it?
Genuinely interested in people’s opinions, even if it’s to tell me I’m being ridiculous!

Congratulations 💐

I don’t think it’s at all surprising that you’re nervous of what is a big step and a big responsibility. I think you’ll be amazed once you’re in what a good feeling it can be.

It’s a change going from saving every penny and watching the numbers climb in a really concrete way, to suddenly having an ‘asset’ without a labelled value. I do think you will get used to it pretty quickly, especially as it sounds as though you will be able to start increasing savings again soon.

Good luck!

You are being nuts but it's probably the nerves.
Why not take a smaller mortgage? You are leaving yourself an awful lot of savings. X

Honestly you will be fine.

You are in a fantastic position . Try not to think of buying a house as an option or a luxury and see it more as a necessity of life . On your income and being self employed I would consider putting in a larger deposit to bring the monthly payments down and then over pay up to as much as you can afford which should help you pay the balance off more quickly. It was what I was told to do but it’s worth getting advice on overpaying if you haven’t already .

It’s always scary to go from saving to spending but it sounds like you’re in a sound financial position even after your purchase goes through. What are your total outgoings going to be? Your savings will still be enough to cover almost 100 mortgage payments, that should make you feel comfortable that you will be fine in an emergency.
if you are still nervous can any of the renovation be put off until you save for the job?
I know the old ‘get a lodger’ gets brought out here a lot but could you have that as a back up plan if things get tight?
I honestly think you’re in a great position and should feel proud not terrified!

Make sure your savings are working for though…

I think liquidity is important as self employed income can and does fluctuate

When I bought my first flat, I miscalculated the stamp duty and had to borrow some money from my brother at the last moment.

I couldn't afford a bed until month two, and had to sleep on the floor. 😁

Honestly, you'll be fine. Congratulations. Enjoy your new home.

Hope your doing better now 😂, i think the thing is with money no matter how much you have you still want more for emergencies etc

Why do you need money off family for your deposit?

I don’t, but they have offered to help. As they would like to help and it won’t leave them in hardship why shouldn’t i accept?

The best thing I’ve ever done is invest in our homes, bought our first home for £40k in 2001, in our second home now, spend money on extension and fancification and we’ll be selling for £8-900k(relatively speaking) in 12-18 months. It’s a sound investment, and you have plenty of savings which you can find high interest savings for. Look at a few high street banks they have 8% at the moment if you add up to £200 a month, I’ve started one of these and will see if I can open another when I get around to it at a different bank (Lloyds), I’ve also got money in ISAs and various other places just accumulating interest… you should find out what works best for you. Overpayment of the mortgage payments may be a thought too maybe?
goodnluxk and remember it’s a big step but it’s a solid and worthwhile investment, you’re paying off your own home now rather than renting and paying off someone else’s home

@BeQuaintLion
It feels like a huge undertaking, even more so if you're self employed.

I was a single parent, one wage coming in, drove myself mad worrying that I could lose my job, get ill, something huge might go wrong and I won't have the money to sort it.

I went for it and nothing really terrible happened, jobs needed doing, new boiler, had new windows and patio doors put in, new soffits and facias, had a damp patch fixed (not all at the same time) saved up for each bigish expense.

I certainly wasn't in the prime position you're in, you have a huge buffer if anything goes wrong plus you could always get a lodger if you found times got hard.

Tbh if you were renting you'd always find the rent money.

Try not to panic, get yourself a Pinterest board and start planning decor, doesn't have to be expensive, get excited.

Im a dab hand at DIY now, give it a go (thanks YouTube 😁).
Ive tiled a bathroom, layed a wooden floor, re-grouted some dodgy cement in the brickwork outside, made a step out of bricks and a paving slab, can hang wallpaper, paint, fixed a hole in the ceiling.

Go for it ❤️

Yes this! Sounds like we’re sharing the same thoughts 😂. I want to be able to just get excited !

The house is worth the money. The new bathroom, kitchen etc probably less so. Have a look at the Rebel Finance School for financial planning and security.

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You’re in the best possible position, OP. It’s a buyer’s market. You’re in a good position to negotiate and get a bargain.
Try not to overthink it, you’re in a better position than most.
As long as you have a 2 bed property, you could always let out a room if you end up in a lean period, work wise.

Congrats!
if you are currently renting, you will not be paying much more for the mortgage. I would use £90K of savings as deposit then you have £65k +£15k for the renovation work and still around £50k saved that you can add to. That’s over a year’s salary saved!

Congratulations for being in the position you are.

It sounds like a lot of the fear is driven by what will happen if you can no longer work. A solution to this would be to invest in good income protection and/or critical illness cover which would pay out in that exact situation.

Might this being in place be enough to allay that anxiety and let you enjoy your new home?

Try considering it in relation to the much worse alternative of renting…

We all have to live somewhere, how much would renting cost you?

Maybe subtract the rental cost off the monthly mortgage purchase cost and that will tell you how much you are paying extra for the luxury of a long-term investment rather than buying a house for a landlord.

Becoming a homeowner is one of the best ways of becoming financially secure.
I assume you've worked out your average monthly income, and the affordability of the mortgage payments, and you'll have an amazing financial cushion as well, as you have a lot in savings. I think you'll be ok.
Get a proper survey on the house if you haven't already - not just a mortgage valuation. Check you're not buying a money pit.

It's a big step so it's not surprising that you feel anxious, especially being single and self employed. I do think you are a bit anxious catastrophising about never working a day again.
I don't agree with @StormGazing that buying a house is a great investment though. It was if you could buy in 2001, especially in London/SE, where prices have risen masses overall. The current situation is very different, with prices falling in most areas now and likely to continue to fall.
Here is a recent report using land registry data showing an average annual fall in the last year of 4%, with major falls in some areas, particularly London and the South of the UK. Terraced/semis in a few areas have made small gains.

brickview.ai/reports/september-2026

Have you also saved into a pension separately from the other savings? You have a fantastic amount saved but not so great if you’ve nothing also in a pension.