Would you swap a dream house for a walkable town?

[Kent2024]

I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives because I feel completely torn.

We currently live in a large bungalow in a semi-rural village in Kent. Over the last few years we’ve completely renovated and extended it, spending £250k plus on top of what we paid for the house. It’s now exactly how we wanted it; four bedrooms, large open-plan kitchen/living space, lovely garden, loads of privacy and some genuinely beautiful views over the countryside (I’ll attach a photo of the view).

The problem is… the location.

We have two young children, and increasingly I’m wondering whether we’re entering a stage of life where lifestyle matters more than the house itself.

Where we are now, you have to drive everywhere. If we fancy a coffee, we drive. Pub? Drive. Park? Drive. Taking the dog out? Drive. The boys can’t just hop on their bikes to meet friends or wander into town when they’re older. It all has to be planned.

One of the biggest frustrations is that although we live in a beautiful setting, we’re on a fast A-road. Our house is set well back behind gates and mature screening, so we don’t really hear the traffic in the house or garden, but it means we can’t simply walk out of the front door. The pavements are either tiny or non-existent in places, so even a casual stroll into a village, coffee shop or pub isn’t really possible.

I’ve started looking at places like Tunbridge Wells because I love the idea of walking out of the front door to independent cafés, parks, restaurants, the station, shops and clubs for the children. I imagine evening walks to get an ice cream, Saturday mornings wandering into town, the boys becoming more independent as teenagers, and generally feeling more connected to where we live.
The other attraction is the secondary schools. There seem to be several highly regarded state and grammar options in and around Tunbridge Wells, whereas where we are the choices feel more limited.

But then I look around our house and think… are we mad?

It’s taken years to create this home. The garden is exactly as we wanted, the house works brilliantly for family life, it’s peaceful and private despite the road, and the view still makes visitors stop and say “wow.” It’s also big enough that our boys will have space as they grow and we aren’t all on top of each other.

I’d describe it as like an island, very safe and private but life is contained within the boundary fences. I grew up in surburbia and didn’t realise how nice it was having the freedom to walk everywhere growing up.

I’m also conscious that perhaps we’re suffering from familiarity blindness, because we see the view every day, maybe we’ve stopped appreciating just how special it actually is. Would we only realise what we’d lost after we’d moved?

Financially we’d almost certainly end up with a less unique smaller house, a smaller garden and less privacy in order to gain the walkable location. I think we’d be lucky to break even and most likely we’d be down about 50k on what we’ve spent after fees etc.

Has anyone made a similar move?
Did moving to a walkable town genuinely improve everyday family life, or did the novelty wear off after a while? Equally, has anyone left a house they loved for the location and regretted it?

I’d really welcome honest opinions from people who’ve been in a similar position.

how old are your DC? I would stay put and enjoy your home for a bit longer and move when it becomes more of an issue

Are you not on a bus route? I grew up in a rural village with nothing going on and we used to get the bus into the nearby town to meet friends once we reached secondary school age. It sounds like you have lots of space where you are now, I would look for ways to design it so the kids have somewhere fun to hang out with their friends.

It has taken me 50 years to own a bungalow without neighbours and any associated problems . I would not give this up because I am happy to ferry Ds around or have friends over for the day .

I want to be able to look out my window and see where I’m eating brunch!
I find that a strange concept. Why have you chosen to live in a place (sacrifice the garden for a roof terrace or patio, the third bedroom for a sofa bed) that you want to escape from? Why is the local eatery more important that your own hearth and home.

I can’t say what I would do in your situation, but here is our experience.

We were in a large village while the children were in primary. I found the increasing taxi-ing onerous as they got older.

Moved to large town when they were all still in primary, and wished we’d done it sooner. Everything is within a ten-minute walk, or short bus ride. Bus stops in both directions two minutes walk from house. Easy frequent buses to city and university. Very rarely did much taxi-ing.

Don’t know how far into the future you’re thinking, but it’s our forever home, and suits dh and me perfectly if our mobility or health declines.

walkable is a very high priority for me - I'd choose that over a large house / nice view etc.

being walkable to shops / activities is good for the physical and mental health of everyone in the house. it means you get out more and see people. the kids I know who grew up rural spent much more time on devices because it was harder for them to see friends in person.

have a good look for houses in a town and put the rural house on the market.

We're in a city and 2 mins walk from the high street. I find it so convenient and interesting to have everything on the doorstep, we are out every day and there's no effort to travel anywhere by public transport. My dcs are too young to go out by themselves but they'll be able to get themselves to school, activities and social meets once they're around 10. I think they have a great quality of life to be able to go to so many places. It's always been a priority for us to live centrally though, I would never have moved into a house in a remote area and put lots of effort into renovating it. Occasionally I'll see somewhere like that on Rightmove and daydream about it, but I know I'd find it boring and frustrating to have to drive everywhere so it would never be more than a pipe dream. When we're older and retired it will make life easier too, to not have to rely on driving and still have lots of accessible activities, plus easy access to clinics and teaching hospitals.

You lost me at having to drive everywhere, I couldn’t do it!! I’d have having to take my car out everywhere and it’s quite restrictive on kids as they get older. You’re literally commuting yourself to 18 years of taxi services!

No, I wouldn't make that swap. I love having my own space too much.

there's no effort to travel anywhere by public transport ... I know I'd find it boring and frustrating to have to drive everywhere.
We all have different experiences. There aren't many places that have fantastic public transport.
I had to take my car to be serviced the other day: 15 minutes door-to-door to get there (in the car, obvs) but over an hour to walk-wait-bus-walk on the return journey. I find public transport much more boring, frustrating, inconvenient and time-consuming.

I agree on public transport, it's often restrictive, dirty and inconvenient, as well as expensive!

We have a similar potential dilemma but less extreme than yours, i.e. we live in a large village, our house is quite nice but not the dream house, and we've spent money doing it up but not as much as you. We love our village, and there are buses to the nearest larger town where our DCs school is, but not loads of buses. We think we will probably end up moving to the town when DCs are old enough for secondary (no guarantee of getting into the - better - school in the larger town, but even if they do, they'd benefit from living nearer). But there's plenty of time left for us to enjoy our current location and to wait until a house that suits us comes up in the town. As PPs suggest, I am thinking just out of town for the rural feel but cyclable/walkable for us and the DCs. There are houses like this, and we've got several years to find the right one, so I'm not going to worry about it just now.

We are basically in the exact same situation, our house even looks like yours from the picture and our views are very similar. We have just sold our beautiful home and are making the move for all the reasons you listed. It has been amazing while our children are very small but I feel that as they grow up they need more. Hopefully it’s the right choice’!

We built a rural dream house also and sold it to move into a big village (boys were 6,9,12). No regrets and our plan is to sell up and move closer to the city once youngest is finished school in 2. years.
For us rural life made us as a couple very lazy, we went nowhere and did very little.

That looks beautiful and very difficult to give up. I would say, provided you don't mind driving currently, you could enjoy it for a few more years while your children are still young but with a view to be more accessible by high school age.

Agree that there is likely to be a middle ground between the two options you’re considering. We live in a city and it’s fabulous for my kids - loads of friends within a few blocks, my daughter (13) walks herself to most of her dance classes (she dances every night so this is hugely important), my son can play out with neighbours and we have quick commutes to work which is hugely helpful in maintaining our work/life balance. Do you and your husband work? If I chose a location like you’re I’d know I was signing myself up for at least a decade of playing taxi and I couldn’t manage that while working full time.

We have friends living somewhere similar to you with two teens and they spend every single night driving them around - they need two cars as they have different things each night (social and sport and clubs etc) and they have no options for walking or public transport. I wouldn’t want that, but I can’t deny it’s a beautiful home. I love your view (I fantasise about a water view!) but I am already really tired so am thankful for the nights I can just come home and be done with the day.

I would put up with the inconvenience for the beautiful house. One day your kids will leave . They can learn to drive once they're old enough.

I would. Having grown up rural, it was a priority to be able to walk to get basic groceries and for the kids to be able to walk to school. We live in a very small rural town and it's the best of both worlds.

I love the community feel of where we live, walking home via the park and walking home from the pub.

I really only use the car to get to work or to see family or for days out. I would hate to have to drive to get anywhere, it doesn't matter how beautiful the views are!

Wow, that's a beautiful view! What would the sort of house your get in town be like in comparison?

We have a young DS and moved from a small village where we had to drive for everything into a market town earlier in the year. I can't emphasise enough how much better my life is to be able to walk to nursery (and to school from September), pop to see DS's friends at the park without a massive mission, pop to the shops without it being a massive mission, both be able to have a drink at lunch because we can walk home and no one has to drive! It's improved our quality of life so much, I wish we'd done it earlier. I'm also glad that he'll be able to be more independent as he gets older, see friends more spontaneously etc, get to activities without a big drive there and back.

I think BarnacleBeasley's attitude is sensible. Play the long game and see what comes on the market. If it appeals then it appeals; if it doesn't, then carry on with the watching brief.
You don't buy "the property market", you buy one particular house that ticks your boxes. It can take time.

Yes I would, funnily enough I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday, as I was thinking about an absolutely beautiful house that a friend used to live in, and then I thought, but it was such a shit location, everything was a drive, I would definitely not want to have lived there myself.

Where I live now, sometimes I’m frustrated by how small my house is, but then I remember it’s all about location, and the location could not be more perfect. We have everything nearby, it’s in a great school catchment, there is public transport, we’re near the town centre and the beach (and we have great sea views!).

I lived in a semi-rural area as a teen and I hated having to be driven everywhere, not having any independence, etc. We moved there when I was 14, almost 15, so obviously I knew what it was like to live in a better area, and I spent the whole time wishing I was somewhere else.

My DH grew up in a village in lovely house with a huge garden. He loved it till he was a teen then couldn’t wait to leave. There were walkable facilities in his village, but for everything else he had to be driven or wait for a very unreliable bus.

I grew up in a reasonable sized town and have lived in London my whole adult life. My kids are now teens and have a huge amount of independence. Public transport is fantastic and almost any activity they fancy doing is accessible either locally or a bus / tube / train ride away. They walk to school.
Same for us as adults. Cafes, music venues, theatres, walkable or a short tube ride away.

But, our house is not huge, our garden is small. It’s not hugely noisy but it’s certainly not silent. My view is houses across the street.

Your view is absolutely stunning, OP. I would love to wake up to that everyday. It must be so good for the soul. But for me, I need people and things around me, as I think so do my DCs.

i gave up on space and views for a central location and it’s been amazing for DC. I would certainly consider moving but why not wait a few years, enjoy the house and the garden and the space while your DC are young and move when they get to say - 10 years old. Until then they don’t really go far alone anyway.

So essentially, yes i would move to be walkable to town/school/cafes/shops etc.

We were the same as @Whoops75 in that living rurally made us a bit lazy/inclined to stay home more, as having to drive everywhere - even to walk the dogs properly - seemed such a faff!

Our rural 'dream home' was huge, detached and full of character set in 0.5 acre garden with virtually no near neighbours. We'd made it exactly how we wanted it, including creating a well-stocked garden from scratch. On paper it was perfect.

But as well as there being nothing to do locally, it was also so far from family (adult DC in our case), that we took the decision to sell up and buy a considerably smaller house in a more expensive area to be close to them. Downsizing was hard and whilst we're significantly closer to DC and in a great coastal location, two years on I'm still struggling with the loss of what we gave up, whereas DH has happily integrated into town life.

On the flip side, there's so very much more to do here - both within walking distance and in the surrounding area which we both love (it's a location we were both familiar with). The move was probably the right thing for us to do, I just think we bought the wrong house - although of course that might be because it's tiny by comparison.

Regarding younger DC, we actively chose to stay in a - different - extremely central location throughout the school years, only moving more rurally at university stage. It's what worked best for us as a family.

I grew up rurally in a lovely but isolated location. My parents ensured they were able to taxi us around so we could be with friends (my Mum was a SAHP and it was a conscious choice when buying the house).
As soon as I could learn to drive I did to have the freedom I wanted without having to rely on my parents.
Despite both of us growing up in the countryside, we live in a town because we knew we couldn't do the same for DS due to work commitments. Many of his friends live nearby, they can easily meet up, and he can get to places without the need for a lift. He can also walk to school. It's also great having everything nearby. Weirdly it's far better for dog walking too. The location works for this stage of our lives.
We may move to the countryside when he leaves home, but we'll decide when the time comes.

Only you can decide what is best for your family. There are pros and cons to both. Weigh them up, considering your children's needs now and as they grow, as well as your own.