Trying to accept we need to stay where we live for the foreseeable:(

[Badvocthebad]

I'm fully aware I live in a nice 3 bed detached house with enough room for us all (4 people).
We have off road parking, and a garden.
The house will need re wiring within the next 1/2 years. It also needs some touch ups decor wise.
We moved here for schooling for the dc. Which worked well. But both dc are going to/have been to local unis so stayed at home. There is also an age gap so we are about to start the uni years again with dc2. So...we can't downsize (and would need another 3 bed anyway..)
The area has changed SO much over the years and I just don't like it here anymore.
But...we are 54. Dhs firm is undergoing restructuring and we would like him to retire at 58/60.
House should be paid off next year.
Has anyone had a similar issue and made peace with it? Or found a way to feel better?
I feel very ungrateful at times but I also can't help feeling like this 😕

Most people live where they can afford

I planned to move from the south coast to Yorkshire this year but the logistics and finances weren't working.

I will revisit the idea next year because it's much better for me financially, but DD's career choice is a long haul so there's going to be another 2-3 years of her not being settled and my mum is 87 and we've no other family so I feel I need to stay put really.

I am in the throes of changing my job for one will hopefully give me a better work/life balance; sorting the house out and basically trying to live the life I was hoping for in Yorkshire as much as possible while I'm still in my current location.

I think you need to think of it as a four year plan. Get DS2 through uni, rewire and fix up house with selling in mind, consolidate DHs work position. Then heading towards retiring look at moving. If your DSs don't want to move with you they can find accommodation of their own where they work.

I live in a detached house in a lovely village. Good for DS’s Uni, getting into the local town, lovely countryside walks, and good access to motorways. Yet when I go to the town I grew up in I long to move back. I’ve spent many hours googling houses in the area I’d want to live. But the fact is that it’s not the same place I grew up in, the people who I knew are dead or moved on. It wouldn’t be the same. Where I live is much better for me and the family. But it doesn’t stop the longing so it’s something I’ve learned to live with.

There is a lot missing here OP.
Why DO you need to stay where you are?
You will be able to afford a lovely 3 bed somewhere else, and by the sounds of it mortgage free, or with a small one.

If DHs role is uncertain and he isn't enjoying it then he can and should be looking for a new position elsewhere anyway.

Of course you want to support DC at university, but that shouldn't tie you to a certain area or location.

You have given me no reason to think you need to accept you are staying where you are at all. What's the real issue? What is actually stopping you?

In theory, could you move areas once DH retires in around 5 years time? If this is a possibility I'd do some sums and research and see what options you'd have location wise. If your house is almost paid off, presumably you have a decent amount of equity in the house, so you could move without needing to take out another mortgage?

Do you need to fully rewire the house, or could you save some money, do a partial rewire to make it more attractive to sell?

This is wise. Thank you.

To answer some questions...
Dh not someone who deals with change well :(
We are here at least until we pay the mortgage off next year.
It costs a lot of money to move - but it will cost a lot of money to stay (re wire etc)
Argh

Both dc happy to move out in time and saving to do so.