Having doubts about the house I’ve bought. Any thoughts very welcome!

[Doubtedly]

I’m having doubts about a house I’m buying and don’t know if it’s just last minute nerves.

I loved the house the first time I saw it, so much so I put an offer in on the way home from the viewing. (I did have a sensible friend with me who played devils advocate - but she also loved it!) I’ve been looking on and off for about 2 years and this is the only house I’ve felt this way about.

I went back, at the sellers invitation, a second time with another friend who is an estate agent and who has a staging company (so well versed in all things property.) She loved it too and asked all sorts of questions I’d overlooked, and the owner was so lovely and informative and patient etc.

I intend this to be my last move. But I moved to where I am now 3 years ago saying the same thing, and I’ve come to hate it. Obviously I loved it when I bought it but now I don’t and am therefore doubting my own judgement.

In the month or so since I went back to the new house for the second time, I’ve developed doubts. One is about the size of the house, but this is something I can address in time.

The other is that the house is in a small hamlet with no real walkable shop. There are shops in close driving distance, and it’s about 6 miles away from 2 large towns. There’s also a Milk and More round that delivers to the house, plus the usual supermarkets. But I can’t shake the thought that there may come a time when I can’t drive and wonder if I’ll feel stuck.

The third doubt is that the house is nowhere near water. I grew up by the sea, and when I realised my current house was a mistake, I decided I’d like to end up by the sea. I soon realised that wasn’t going to happen on my budget. Now I’m thinking perhaps I should’ve been prepared to compromise more.

So - the house is lovely, in a beautiful hamlet with lots of accessible walks for the dog, equidistant between 2 sizeable towns, close enough to where I currently live (an hour’s drive away) that friends can visit or I can visit them. But - the doubts!

Does anyone have thoughts please?

The system sucks but it’s the system and it’s better OP pulls out if she doesn’t actually want the house

I agree you don’t know what you want - but is sounds like you don’t want this area.

I agree living somewhere without a shop will be a massive pain in the arse - particularly is you live alone. You wake up with a sore throat and need a chemist - how far in the journey? What about doctors and dentist? What happens if your car breaks down or you can’t drive for a few months?

i live alone and have easy access to work, shops and doctor via bus should I need it - I am only in my doctors but this can be my forever home because of layout and location.

I am in a similar situation OP though in may 50s.
From seeing my Mother grow old and struggling with her health I would suggest moving somewhere where there is a shop, GP, pub, general amenities and easy access to a town.
I think a hamlet 6 miles from the nearest town could end up being difficult and isolating.

I struggle with making decisions in house buying and have offered and backed out of a purchase, mostly as a result of the difficult vendors but I know the feeling.

Better to call it a day now than move and realise its not what you want.

It doesn't have to be your last house move. It's impossible to tell what you are looking for. But accept you can always move again, then what's the problem?

Cost I would say
and the stress and hassle of moving

Absolutely this.

It is so expensive to move and so time consuming.

i moved five years ago and just the cost to get in the front door was £15,000.

i have since spend much much more on renovations, new furniture to for the rooms, repairs, upgrades.

its not something I would want to do regularly! The financial and emotional hit is huge

OP, did the title of the show "Location, Location, Location" completely pass you by?!

Anyone can find a lovely house if they could look absolutely anywhere. You are planning to buy somewhere in a place that's so unsuitable when you're getting older that it's just laughable. The pool of people where you can find good friends is extremely small. If you couldn't drive then life would quickly become impossible. How friendly do you think your neighbours would be if you were having to ask for help all the time?

Why are you moving an hour away from your friends? How often - realistically - do you think you'll see them? I'm a similar age and where I might consider a complete change of scene, it certainly wouldn't be to a place that would be impossible if I lost my independence, and it wouldn't be to a place where I couldn't make new friends.

I didn't say it wasn't 'costly' and the stress is always personal to person and property.
However I was pointing out that it wasn't necessarily trapping the OP in a final decision.
There can be a choice, and that can affect how a buyer views a purchase.

accept you’re always going to be self critical about decisions you make. Decide today whether you’re gonna pull out or stick with it if you stick with it - on a piece of paper write down 10 reasons why you love the house put it somewhere safe and when you move in and you’re feeling like you know you will just read those 10 reasons.

Is there regular reliable public transport nearby? Not just occasionally but more than one bus/train an hour. You don't want to be isolated if you cannot drive at some point in the future. Plus doctors/supermarket/vet etc. A small community is lovely but practicalities should take priority especially if you are on your own.

It's so hard when you are older. I had to move from my favourite house and I made a huge mistake. It then took me nearly two years until I moved here. I wanted this as my last move. I rented as an extended fire break to get my thoughts and nerves together.

I think you have to be sure and you are not. Having amenities and a bus service was so important for me.

I think you know when you know so you could keep looking?

The location isn't right. You need to be walking distance, on a path, to some facilities.

If you think you need the sea and the sea is miles away that is a biggie, you will just be unsettled and want to move again, location is just as important as the actual house.

At some point you have to follow your gut. Go for it and make it a 5 year house and at 5 years decide if it’s actually a 10 year house or you need something different. Making it a forever home adds pressure that’s unnecessary. In the mean time, life is passing you by while you sit in indecision.

OP, youre only 61!!!! You are likely to have at least 10 years of safe driving, independent life yet... hopefully double that. After 10 years you might be looking for a new adventure.

I dont understand why you are spoiling today by worrying about something that might make life hard in 15 years time. At 60, thats a quarter of your life to date!

If it's taken two years to find this house, then you started looking a year after your last house purchase?

No, it doesn't sound like this one will work out any better. Why not stay put for a while longer?