Are we mad to sell up our lovely home?

[hearthat]

We have a large 4 bed semi, 3 double beds, one single. Huge kitchen, loads of storage, 2 large reception rooms, flat south facing garden etc. We’ve been here 27 years and brought our children up here very happily.

Children have now flown the nest and realistically the house will be a bit big for just me and DH. It’s 50 years old so we are looking at the possibility of a new roof which we have had quotes for around £13k. The gardens could do with new fencing and block boundary walls built etc - all a lot of work for a house that will be a bit big.

House has been valued for £325k. I will not downsize for less than a 3 bed and ideally that would need to be detached.

We would like something newer built, smaller and a bit more cosy / warmer in the winter. Newer Houses near us and nearer to shops etc are around £315k for 3 bed detached. So by the time we sell and pay fees we are no better off financially - effectively swapping to a smaller house for no gain.

I worry about fitting in our furniture- one house we saw that was 14 years old you could barely fit chests of drawers in by the time the beds were in. It was on for £310k and it was a semi. Higher prices as it had a garage (ours doesn’t) and it’s round the corner from shops and a nice pub etc.

So conflicted about whether we are doing the right thing. I’d like to be closer to amenities but it feels like we are making a financially silly decision to have a smaller house for no financial gain.

Has anyone done the same later in life? How did it work out?

you need to look at the likely overall bills for the potential new home vs what you pay now, also how connected is it plus most crucial of all when moving as an older person, if one of you couldn’t use the stairs, is there a downstairs space to use as a temporary bedroom? Are the stairs compatible with installing a stair lift? Things you don’t think about at 40 but approaching 60 become more important, mobility can be struck down, illness can swoop in … no point needing to move twice. Our (20 year old house) has wide doors, large downstairs loo and wide stairs, meaning moderate mobility issues can be coped with. Not ready for the bungalow yet!

So you say you want to downsize but only by going down the ladder and by ‘losing’ one room, so not really downsizing?

Downsizing is only worth it if you move to a much smaller property and have crunched the numbers for fees and stamp duty vs the expected costs of staying in your current home.

Stay where you are. My PIL have a house bigger than what they need. But we all go to stay with them during holidays and have our own rooms. My BIL went through relationship breakdown and had to move back for support. So you never know what can happen in the future. And if you are nice enough, your children and grand children will come and stay with you often as well.

We're on the market and seeking a house with a bedroom downstairs. We have a three storey twenty year old 5 bed. I was shocked to see that a three bed house that meets our needs is the same price. We are an aging population and bungalows are snapped up. I'm 60 and sadly need a more accessible home. We are very close to shops and the hospital but I can no longer do the stairs. Fwiw we've had little or no interest from buyers. We're at the £500k + value and there are so few buyers willing to pay £40k in moving costs.
Old money are still buying but working professionals are scared of losing their jobs. Mortgages are too high.
If you don't have to move wait until the next election. I'm eying stair lifts.

It depends on how old you are. It is sensible to plan to move somewhere smaller, more manageable and near amenities while you are fit and able, but if you are only in your 50's it's a bit early. The most important thing is that you are happy and enjoy your home, as life is too short to think entirely about any financial loss.

@Sooveritall If you don't have to move wait until the next election. I'm eying stair lifts.
Second hand stairlifts are worth exploring. Easy to get a £2k one for next to nothing on Gumtree if you are lucky. The elderly parents forum whenever it has a Q on stair lifts aways has a procession of responses from people unable to off load them.

no it is not. Do you think that if Usain Bolt moved to a bungalow, he'd get bungalow legs? Downstairs loos massively reduce stair use yet nobody gets downstairs loo legs

Well exactly.

we all know stair climbing is good exercise, and sitting on your arse all day isn’t good for health, and mobility is a “use it or lose it” thing.

but people on this thread are confidently stating “bungalow legs” is a real thing, when clearly it can’t be. I have a downstairs loo- I could quite easily never go upstairs during the day, and I doubt once up the stairs and once down will do as much as going for a walk.

bungalow living makes no difference. What makes the difference is whether you keep mobile- that’s a choice regardless of whether you have stairs.

my neighbour lives in a bungalow. She goes to the gym every day, and once she hit 70 she got a personal trainer. She definitely does not have “bungalow legs” despite living in one for 40 years.

Thank God for commonsense!

be careful with secondhand stairlifts. Yes they are cheap. Installation, maintenance and repairs, however are NOT. I used to work in the NHS in the community and know a bit about this.

DH and I keep discussing this … but I’d still want three double bedrooms and two bathrooms plus open plan kitchen/diner and a garden that’s not overlooked. Tricky so I think we’ll stay put.

DDs have left … one may be coming back soon as her relationship isn’t great. I’ll always want a room for them to return if needed … plus potential grandkids.

And I love having them all round for dinner/bbqs etc and friends.

We've downsized twice and don't regret either move. The first time was when we were in our mid-50s and the second late 60s. It was more of a wrench leaving the middle house as it was beautiful, but we'd finished renovating and definitely need a smaller place for when we are older.
The only thing I'd say is that it may not be a good time to sell now, though of course estate agents will not admit this. You obviously need to get as much for it as you can, so perhaps wait for a while until demand improves.

We’re in south wales, 20 minutes train to Cardiff

I’m 53, DH 61. I don’t like the layout of my current house but yes, it’s very spacious. And we could accommodate both ‘children’ if they needed to come back. Both will be living within 30 minutes drive.

Dh can’t understand the issue with keeping space for grandchildren, he reasons that a 3 bed semi is a normal family home and if we don’t have enough space for 2 people alone plus visitors / grandkids etc there’s something wrong.

I'm surprised that so many people are suggesting you stay! Personally (in our late 40s) already planning a downsize to a two bed, mortgage free house in the next year. We have plans to travel and don't want to be tied to keeping a hpuse that's larger than we need. 2 kids have bought their own houses.2 off to uni. Between us we will make sure there's a space for everyone.

To me downsizing isn't just about money though, it's about quality of life. Living somewhere that offers good day to day living. Not worrying about the upkeep of spare rooms or large gardens. I don't understand the need to have spare rooms 'just in case', with the heating off getting damp.

If your house is a family home and has served you well, it's okay to say "thanks house" and move on to a house that suits your current way of living.

The first time we downsized we had spare rooms but our adult children only all came back together once. Now we live within an hours drive of three of them and just have one spare room.

I’ve just re-read the OP. The trade off would seem to be less space for more disposable income due to lower running costs. But no benefit in terms of released equity.

Depending on how old the OP is I’d be inclined to stay put. If they can manage current running and maintenance costs and they have the house how they like it, they will really notice the loss of space. Their current house doesn’t sound huge to be honest, and it will soon fill up if they have grandchildren.

If they are older and facing mobility issues that would be very different but I don’t get that from the OP.

Seems very sensible to me. I'm sure that if you all want to gather at once you all squidge in and then they tootle on home after. Or I guess, if they really want ti stay they can rent somewhere. Seems pointless to keep empty rooms 99% of the time to me.

We’re in a flat now, low maintenance and a good size. We’re older, 70’s, and this is our second and last downsize, spare capital passed to our four children long ago and they all have somewhere decent to live. Much more comfortable than struggling to maintain a house that’s more than we need.

I honestly wish more people thought like you. It must be lovely to see your children benefit from their early inheritance too.

I live on a street where there are many elderly (80's plus) rattling around in 3 and 4 bed victorian houses. Seems crazy, especially when there are loads of retirement flats with sea views just one road down. They're all now "too old" (their words, not mine) to move, but not one of them loves their home.

It's not actually a retirement flat, I'd hate that, but in a more mixed community on an estate which includes two of my DC. I expect that my DD will eventually move with our GC, but am prepared for that though I will miss them.
We are directly on the river bank opposite a wooded park. I'd have loved a small garden, but we have a large balcony and are surrounded by a maintained estate. We do have steps and some stairs but hope that we will be able to deal with them when the time comes - we've replaced the dated staircase to reduce the height of the treads.
I don't think that some people realise that they will find their house and garden too large and unmanageable when they are older, or that they could enjoy living somewhere less demanding so much more.

I agree that it is sad for people to rattle about in houses when they neither need them nor benefit from being there. My MIL did this, living alone for twenty years doing housework, tending the garden and grudging spending money on maintenance. My DM also lived alone for even longer, but my DF had the house built to make it easier to live in when she was older, and she was always able to pay for help with maintenance and cleaning. Fortunately she was well enough to deal with the stairs though she could have modified the house to live on the ground floor.

Your set up sounds lovely. I totally understand retirement flats are not for everyone. In my opinion they could be much improved. There are lots of flat/apartments options here too, alongside bungalows. Its a thriving older community with many, many clubs and activities. We could definitely do with a more pro active approach to moving into adapted/adaptable housing though.

For us, and possibly@hearthat, I feel that the best thing to do is to move whilst you can, however lovely your house is, even if it might be earlier than strictly necessary. The thought of moving in your late 70s or 80s is daunting. And living in a more manageable place is lovely, if you no longer need a big family home.

I agree about not wanting empty rooms. As our DCs have left home rooms have been repurposed so they have a new life as dressing room and hobby rooms.

Our plan is that if it comes to it we will get a lift installed rather than a stairlift. We have some space we could use. Price for these is dropping.

o/p is 53! She has over 20 years before she is late 70’s, so it’s hardly a pressing issue. She has the luxury of time to wait for a better market, and also what will be suitable for them as they age. What might seem a good option now might not be in 10 years and I’d hate to move twice.

for example if I were to downsize now I’d need to stay in this area for work.. I am able to drive, I’d need a garden for the pets, and the children are at uni so I would need a 3 bed at least.
10 years time and I’m hopefully retired, the pets won’t be around, and the children that bit more settled. I’d be able to change what I need- I’m aiming for a city centre flat with everything walkable, no garden, good transport links to airports and the rail network.